Russianvids Exposes Metallica

Youtube conspiracy theory vlogger Russianvids exposed Metallica’s connection to the Masonic-Satanic Illuminati. Russianvids noted many displays of goofy homoerotic antics from James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine, and Kirk Hammet. Lars Urlich’s predilection for kissing and tonguing other men is shown. Russianvids explain this is part of the Masonic conspiracy to condition the general populace into accepting homosexuality as normal rather than statistically abnormal behavior.

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Revisiting The Days When Black Metal Died

“Nothing gold can stay,” reminds us the poet Robert Frost, and this applies to black metal. Its gold occurred between 1991 and 1994, when its progenitors innovated a new style and took it to great heights, but after Burzum – Hvis Lyset Tar Oss, it became clear that black metal was not content to be a normal, rock-style music genre.

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Molson Coors Brewing Company – Hamm’s

Hamm’s is one of those sorts of beers your dad used to drink back in the day especially if your dad was from Minnesota. My dad wasn’t; I just bought a thirty rack as it was cheap and fresher than the High LifeCoors, and Pabst Blue Ribbon as I am a dirty metalhead. If you are going to headbang, you might as well get a buzz. You’ll be caring more about the music, so what you are drinking needs to be cost-effective while tasting only decent. I banged out Obsessed by Cruelty and Persecution Mania while drinking Hamm’s for this review. The original CD version of sloppy, raw speed metal as drunk band for a beer review; Chris Witchhunter died of alcoholism. I drank six cans for this review to get full Hamm’s experience.

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Ukrainian Zoo Erects Tom Araya Statue


Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Seth Berg.

A zoo in Demidiv, Ukraine has recently revealed a statue of speed/death metal godfather Tom Araya as well as a pillar featuring lyrics from Slayer‘s classic “Dead Skin Mask” off Seasons in the Abyss. Hats off to the folks at XII Months zoo for accomplishing something that will help introduce the next generation (and probably sections of the current youth demographic) to an essential band. Perhaps this will mean that certain children in Ukraine will be exposed to quality metal first rather than the turds that float to the top in media and plant a seed that will help ensure that up and coming hessians aren’t complete modern metal bozos.

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Upcoming Marduk, Incantation, and Abysmal Dawn US Tour

Marduk, Incantation, and Abysmal Dawn are touring the United States together this August and September. Tour dates and venues are pending. Will antifascists and communists attack Marduk for their apolitical use of Second World War imagery? Will Incantation be targeted too as Craig Pillard was the vocalist on their best work? We will have to wait and see.

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Sorcier des Glaces – Ritual of the End Cassette Pressing Coming Soon

Sorcier des GlacesRitual of the End, some of The Best Underground Metal of 2014, is coming out soon on compact cassette courtesy of Dread Records. French Canadian black metal maniacs who drive beat up old serial killer vans from the 80s like Buffalo Bill’s should pick it up. Everyone else should listen to Snowland MMXII and hate the human race.

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Absu July 2017 Euro Trip

Absu are embarking upon an almost non-stop European festival tour this July. Absu are always an experience live with Prosciptor’s psychedelic unpredictability. Continental headbangers in for an interesting show should check Absu out. You never know what will happen. Will Proscriptor rap? Will he hump inanimate objects when possessed by spirits from the Celtic underworlds? Only you can find out!

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Thirty Years Under the Sign of the Black Mark

Bathory‘s Under the Sign of the Black Mark turned turned thirty years​ old last month. The album marked the start of Quorthon adding in the epic atmosphere of Manowar and Iron Maiden which would come to fruition on Blood Fire Death. Under the Sign of the Black Mark also happened to be one of the first black metal CDs I ever purchased, which I preceded to play non-stop for about a week until getting bored of it and going back to listening to Altars of Madness.

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