Bill and Ted found themselves wandering through the middle east, somewhere. The time machine had finally shorted out when Ted connected it to his iPad, causing a brief detour through 1968 Christopher Street in New York and a Royal Navy frigate in 1780 at rum ration time before crashing somewhere into this Semitic wonderland.
34 CommentsTags: bill and ted, democracy, j.r.r. tolkien, jesus christ, Kim Kelly, paul ledney, profanatica, sodomy, tolkien, van halen
German antifascist communists booted American metalcore band Woe from the lineups of some shows on their current tour due to Woe opening for Inquisition a few times. Woe are one of your standard, screamo random post-hardcore bands pretending to be “US Black Metal” when in reality they are still metalcore. Moreover, Woe being social justice warriors from Brooklyn, New York played several benefit shows for antifa in the US. Now Woe themselves are throwing a fit about leftist crybabies preventing them from playing shows on Facebook as the communist scum decided that since Woe do not march in gay pride parades, probably do not fuck the gaping open wounds of mutilated transvestites, and do not mind opening for bands that once sort of played a simplified form of black metal that Woe occasionally play on Spotify when wanting something heavier to relieve the stress of their service jobs, Woe must be shot with hollow point bullets in the back of the head.
22 CommentsTags: AIDS, antifa, antifascist, antifascists, cargo cult, censorship, communism, communists, germany, hipster bullshit, idiocy, Inquisition, metalcore, metalgate, posers, poseurs, skrewdriver, woe
Death Metal Underground has not run a contest in quite some time; since we found our slogan: “Sodomize the Weak” from Blood‘s O Agios Pethane. Our staff collectively feels it is time for another round. Social justice warriors, antifascists, and communists have been annoying the heavy metal world lately. We have decided to counter back with a short story contest.
28 CommentsTags: antifa, antifascist, antifascists, communism, communists, metalgate, sjws, social justice warrior, socialists, stupidity
Death Metal Underground’s staff makes great personal sacrifice to ensure that we degrade the unworthy, the inferior, and the charming. We show no mercy and will defile your corpse.
6 CommentsTags: black light, chronic hangover, crap, death worship, diablerie, dreaming dead, et moriemur, kladovest, miserist, mosaic, neoheresy, sadistic metal reviews, slamophiliac, stonegazer, theosophy, törkyraato
Youtube vlogger Metal Blast pointed out the ridiculous of David Anthony’s preposterous claim that “Metal Has Unaddressed Nazi Problem” on hipster socialist realism media website The A.V. Club. Metal Blast notes that while Craig Pillard of Disma made anti-Semitic statements in the past himself, David Anthony preposterous slamming Disma and every other metal band he holds politically incorrect to the socialist creed as Nazis is just as preposterous as Tipper Gore’s Parents Music Resource Center in the 80s and Jack Thompson claiming that the violence of Doom and Grand Theft Auto in the 90s led to school shootings.
7 CommentsTags: angela dancev, antifa, antifascist, censorship, communists, david anthony, disma, marduk, metal blast, metalgate, sjws, the av club, youtube, yvette felarca
Profanatica and Cianide are playing the 2017 iteration of the Destroying Texas festival along with a bunch of shitty scenester bands like Black Witchery. Check them out if you live nearby; Profanatica are still great live despite the last album, The Curling Flame of Blasphemy, being a turd. Tickets are available from EventBrite.
17 CommentsTags: Black Metal, black witchery, cianide, death metal, destroying texas fest, festivals, houston, houston texas, profanatica, texas
Sepultura‘s Morbid Visions is my favorite thirty year old album. Released in Brazil on November 10th, 1986, Morbid Visions saw Sepultura slither past the primitive Hellhammer, Celtic Frost, and Sodom worship of their initial Bestial Devastation extended play (included as a bonus on almost all CD versions of Morbid Visions) and into ultraviolent, progressive but still primitive, death and black metal.
15 CommentsTags: 1986, anniversary, Black Metal, Brazil, death metal, igor cavalera, jairo tormentor, max cavalera, morbid visions, progressive, progressive metal, sepultura
Unaussprechlichen Kulten have a new record, Keziah Lilith Medea (Chapter X), coming out on Iron Bonehead Productions June 2nd. Baphomet Pan Shub-Niggurath was good so this is one of the few death metal releases this year that Death Metal Underground is looking forward to. Hopefully our staff won’t stick the CD in the toaster upon hearing the new Sammath record.
12 CommentsTags: chile, death metal, iron bonehead, Iron Bonehead Productions, new album, unaussprechlichen kulten, upcoming release
I went on a hike this week with a few of my colleagues to appreciate the forested beauty of the natural world. We eventually lit a fire and toasted some marshmallows and frankfurters. One of my fellow heshers was German and carried around a package of expired hot dogs during his hike that he intended to eat at room temperature. I convinced him to put aside his barbaric hunger and save the sausages for the evening cookout.
13 CommentsTags: beer, lager, miller, miller lite, molsoncoors, pee, pilsner, piss, seltzer, soft drink
Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by George Psalmanazar, continuing his series of Judas Priest reviews.
Painkiller is Judas Priest‘s most consistent studio album coming out right after the band spent the entire decade of the 80s pandering to mainstream arena and glam rock fans. Slayer were a tremendous influence this time around; Judas Priest toured toured with them in the late 80s and subsequently listened to most of Slayer’s studio catalog. Painkiller there is a heavy metal album heavily influenced by the heaviest speed metal bordering on early death metal. Early power metal took a similar approach but in much more limp-wristed way.
27 CommentsTags: 1990, Heavy Metal, judas priest, NWOBHM, painkiller, review, Speed Metal
