Iron Bonehead Triggers Witchhunt by Portland Maoists

Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Seth Berg.

It seems the Portland neoliberals weren’t content with indoctrinating gullible college students into their pseudoscientific belief system and badgering people for triggering them, since anyone who’s anyone has had to contrive some sort of PTSD in the past five years to keep with the trends.

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Spite Extreme Wing – Vltra (2008)


by Max Schoenbach

Spite Extreme Wing was an Italian black metal band with a vision rooted in their national culture or what they perceived as a manifestation of its innate transcendental aspect. On their older albums they are perhaps comparable to Sigrblot or Kaevum, either aesthetically, or by following similar approach to constructing identity of their art. (more…)

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Molson Coors Brewing Company – Hamm’s

Hamm’s is one of those sorts of beers your dad used to drink back in the day especially if your dad was from Minnesota. My dad wasn’t; I just bought a thirty rack as it was cheap and fresher than the High LifeCoors, and Pabst Blue Ribbon as I am a dirty metalhead. If you are going to headbang, you might as well get a buzz. You’ll be caring more about the music, so what you are drinking needs to be cost-effective while tasting only decent. I banged out Obsessed by Cruelty and Persecution Mania while drinking Hamm’s for this review. The original CD version of sloppy, raw speed metal as drunk band for a beer review; Chris Witchhunter died of alcoholism. I drank six cans for this review to get full Hamm’s experience.

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Ukrainian Zoo Erects Tom Araya Statue


Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Seth Berg.

A zoo in Demidiv, Ukraine has recently revealed a statue of speed/death metal godfather Tom Araya as well as a pillar featuring lyrics from Slayer‘s classic “Dead Skin Mask” off Seasons in the Abyss. Hats off to the folks at XII Months zoo for accomplishing something that will help introduce the next generation (and probably sections of the current youth demographic) to an essential band. Perhaps this will mean that certain children in Ukraine will be exposed to quality metal first rather than the turds that float to the top in media and plant a seed that will help ensure that up and coming hessians aren’t complete modern metal bozos.

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Dying Fetus Release New Music Video

Camouflage cargo shorts band Dying Fetus released a music video for “Panic Amongst The Herd” off their upcoming crap album, Wrong One to Fuck With, on sell-out sludge and metalcore label Relapse Records. Relapse insist that:

Now 25 years into their distinguished career, Dying Fetus cement their legacy with Wrong One to Fuck With and uphold their position as the dominant force in death metal today.

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Nuclear Blast Signs Possessed

Article by Cullen Toner.

In an attempt to swiftly cash in on both the trend of retro 80’s rehash and the trend to sell the world’s most fragile human beings as the new face of metal, Nuclear Blast has signed the crippled remains of the once titanic death metal band Possessed. Despite the band being active since 2007, the timing was appropriate now due to the liberal media’s executed agenda of celebrating and overcompensating for society’s weakest members. The hipster metal community’s plastic face of acceptance will be tested mightily as the urge to cringe upon viewing the sorry state of the band’s handicapped turf leader will be difficult to resist.

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