Upcoming tours: Behemoth

Behemoth-Myrkur-tour-2016

Behemoth is still promoting their last album (The Satanist), despite rumors of the next. To this end, the band is going on a lengthy “Blasfemia Amerika” tour where they play the album in its entirety. There are two major legs to this tour – the European portion that is described on Behemoth’s CSS transform heavy official website, and a second part in the United States that is just making its way to major news sites as we speak. Neither supporting lineup is particularly interesting – in Europe they’ll be supported by Abbath, Entombed AD, and Inquisition, while the USA will have to deal with Myrkur. For those who absolutely need this in their lives, the following dates have been announced in the USA:

Apr. 21 – Philadelphia, PA – Theatre of the Living Arts
Apr. 22 – New York, NY – Webster Hall
Apr. 23 – Boston, MA – Royale
Apr. 25 – Montreal, QC – Virgin Mobile Corona Theatre
Apr. 26 – Toronto, ON – The Phoenix Concert Theater
Apr. 27 – Detroit, MI – St. Andrews Hall
Apr. 29 – Chicago, IL – Thalia Hall
Apr. 30 – Minneapolis, MN – Mill City Nights
May 1 – Lawrence, KS – The Granada Theater
May 3 – Denver, CO – The Gothic Theatre
May 4 – Salt Lake City, UT – The Complex
May 6 – San Francisco, CA – The Regency Ballroom
May 7 – Santa Ana, CA – The Observatory

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Behemoth to enter the studio in 2016

Behemoth-EP

Nergal of Behemoth recently conducted an interview with Rock Sverige in which he revealed his plans for the band and other musical endeavors. So far, a new album from Behemoth isn’t confirmed, but Nergal claimed that the band would enter the studio in 2016 and that he thought “…it would be really smart and good to have a new album out in 2017”. He also mentioned some side projects outside of metal and an interest in the works of David Bowie. Needless to say, if the band releases further confirmation for a release, it’ll probably go on our radar. Behemoth has apparently sold enough albums to live quite comfortably, and that’ll probably continue for many years.

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Behemoth – The Satanist

behemoth-the_satanist

I did something I never thought I’d ever do and bought the new Behemoth record today. Was never a big fan of the early stuff (out of ignorance in never really listening to them more than anything) and have associated the 2000s material with 14 year old kids transitioning from Slipknot and Korn into death metal…

Before I even heard a note of the new one I was intrigued. Reading Darksi’s interviews post-leukemia in reference to this album really got me interested in what was in store sonically and lyrically and several reviews seemed to highlight that it was a turning point. Also very stoked on Denis Forkas’ art and Metastazi’s layout (that dude: FUCK) so it seemed quite the package.

I can say without a doubt that this is already a highlight for the year, even given Behemoth’s stature as a ‘celebrity’ death metal band. The production is wholly organic; gone are the vocal effects, clicks, snaps, and pops of their usually very sterile and over-produced sound. ‘The Satanist’ sounds natural and warm, vicious, and inspired. Each track is it’s own tight little opus – every song is memorable without being just a cavalcade of “dude check out this RIFF.”

None of this goes without saying that it does have it’s weaknesses (use of OV, stupid dress-up costumes, Slash guitar solos, and a goddamned Saxophone solo [Y U DO DIS PLEASE STAHP]), but the good far outweighs the bad. For a band to be this reinvigorated and viable on their 10th(!) full length, I have to commend them.

behemoth-the_satanist-cover

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Flavor of the Week Metal Pt 2: Death Metal

Last month we ran the first  of a two part series on flavor of the week metal subgenres, focusing soley on black metal. The plan was to release a second edition a week later, but the Tulio Baars DDOS attacks prevented that from happening. That is, until now…

Death metal has existed for over 30 years now but the storied genre may finally have seen the climax of its success. Along the way it has been riddled with ridiculous spinoffs that saw tons of low-IQ normies mark out only to promptly discard them into the trash once public consensus realized how outrageous it was. Featuring all kinds of ridiculousness ranging from sideways hat wearing wiggers to throat tatted white trash scene kids, the grand scope of death metal has seen some of the dumbest music ever recorded. Sometimes replicating nu metal and rap, other times mimicking Europeon dance pop, death metal has been degraded and molested in every possible way imaginable. When considering all the horrendous demonization of the genre it’s incredible to think it has survived for so long (despite not seeing may works of relevance since 1994).

It’s the article the basement dwelling Dreipfeil losers did not want you to see, the Sadistic Genre Reviews of death metal’s worst offenders.

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Forces of Satan Stumble

The consensus seems to be that Christ does not belong in metal.  Well, neither does Satan.  Rigid patterns of thought are not conductive to the creation of transcendental metal music.  The failure of NSBM stems from the rigid ideology into which the music was forced like a Procrustean bed.  The two Christian metal bands worth a shit have been covered on this site: Paramaecium and Antestor.  The only NSBM bands that are not terrible are the bands, like Graveland, that preceeded the creation of the subgenre and were only lumped in with the scene later… Gontyna Kry seems to be the sole exception to NSBM sucking.

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/smr/ Sadistic Metal Reviews: Massacre of Death Metal’s Mainstream

Yesterday, we gave you the 10 most popular death metal bands of all time.  Now one by one they will face public execution as we absolutely massacre their most recent release.  No mercy will be shown- orders are to kill everything that moves.

Did you fucking soy metal nu males really think they would get off easy?  This is Death Metal Underground- the most savage music site on the internet!  Death to soy metal, death to sellouts, burn and die all falses!  Mayhem- war- sadism- brutalization!  No death metal band should have 1 million Facebook likes!  No death metal band should be on Facebook at all!  Pussies!  Behead the corpses, throw them into the streets- the Templar way!

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The Most Popular Death Metal Bands- Who is #1?

Who is the most popular death metal band?

It’s one of those esoteric questions that wanders in and out of the mind without a quick Google search to offer a definite solution.  But today it dawned on me that if I don’t try to find an answer, it’s unlikely any one else will do a decent job at doing so.  And given the fact that deathmetal.org is the number one site that comes up when you Google “death metal news,” I believe we have a journalistic duty to present the world with this information.

Since where to draw the line on what’s “true” death metal or not is a matter of opinion moreso than concrete fact, I determined that anything labeled “death metal” would be fair game whether it truly was a pure death metal band or not.  Therefore I’d consider melodic death metal, black metal, and even deathcore in an effort to find who had conquered the greater sphere of death metal.

Unfortunately, the Nielsen record sale tracking data is not public and often does not identify how well an album has sold for many years after its release.  Thus, I determined that the most accurate metric for mining this data would be to measure by Facebook likes.  Yes, I know it’s not an exact science- many fans aren’t on Facebook, and many people click a band’s like button without really listening to them.  But still, it was as good as I would ever get to finding who the most popular band in the greater bounds of “death metal” truly was.

I expected to see the favorites of the 90’s metal press and MTVX dominate- Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel, Decide, Death, and probably In Flames take the number 1 spot.  Imagine my shock, that only one of these bands even cracked the top 5!  I had always heard about Morbid Angel and Deicide had the highest album sales, but it appears neither band has been able to conquer the internet age.

So again, this list was populated within very forgiving boundaries (bands loosely considered death metal, whether or not I believed them to be), and the best metric I could come up with.  Also, DO NOT FUCKING EVEN THINK OF CONFUSING THIS AS BEING A LIST OF THE BEST DEATH METAL- IT IS QUITE THE OPPOSITE!!!  And finally, if there are any bands you think I missed please let me know in the comments below and I will gladly do a live update and give you credit- maybe.

Without further ado, here is – for the first time in history – a list of the most popular bands that people considered to be death metal, and an explanation to why I would endure the immense visceral hatred for even considering them:

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Endless War : The Similarities Between Metal and Wrestling

 

Wrestling is the oldest sport in existence. One can find it in any culture on earth, Egyptian hieroglyphs depict various techniques, Islam recognizes it as one of the main sports for preparation in combat and European knights trained extensively as a lot of armored fights quickly become tests of who could pin who to be able to deal a finishing blow with a dagger through the gaps in the plate armor. Throughout the years wrestling has proven to be the best art for all forms of combat as every region in the world has at least one form of indigenous wrestling.

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/dmg/ DEATH METAL GENERAL: RETIREMENT PLAGUE EDITION

Satyricon were always a band to live in the shadow of better bands and thus it is only fitting for their farewell U.S. tour to suffer the same fate.  The band announced their last trip to the United States just hours before Slayer’s shocking announcement that they will soon cease to exist. Understandably, this caused the Satyricon “news” to be buried deep under a pile of apathy. Feels bad, man.

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Poverty is the Price for Metal Stardom

The Talk:

Every metal musician needs to have “The Talk” at some point or another and for some of you, this will be that moment.  In the world of metal, “The Talk” is the soul crashing, dream obliterating conversation where one learns the valuable lesson that you can’t get rich playing extreme metal.  It’s heartbreaking and defeating but better learned sooner than later.  And since a young ambitious musician isn’t necessarily considering the logistics, lifestyle goals, etc. of their future before they drill on that pentagram neck tattoo, I want to make sure readers of DMU are abundantly clear on what to expect on the financial front when engaging in life as a touring musician.
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