Have You Droned Anyone Recently?

There is something delicious about a drone. Maneuver the joystick, trip the flaps, train the camera, identify the subject. With a deep sigh, avoid contemplating all that is ahead, then click confirm on your control screen. Watch the brief flash and distortion on your video feed as the missile falls free and ignites. Zoom in on the target. Seconds later, a gout of flame and fountain of body parts.

(more…)

6 Comments

Tags: , , ,

Blackwolfgoat – Drone Maintenance

blackwolfgoat-drone_maintenance

Since the dawn of metal the music industry has sought to stretch the definition of “heavy metal” to include anything with heavy guitars because that would enable them a new sales channel for the usual pap. The arguably metal-influenced seemed to excite labels for that reason.

I freely admit to liking this release but not recommending it. This takes some unpacking to make sense, so let me first remind us all of the role of a record reviewer: we need to help you buy the 1% among all the new stuff that is worth listening to multiple times. That elite group consists of records that are not only aesthetically interesting, but musically interesting, and have some form of artistic content, because nothing other than those three will hold the attention of a metalhead for very long. What I do not want to do is hype a record that has an excess of one of the three without the others catching up, like a punk record with really deep political reviews, or a post-metal disc with great production, or even a jam band that remakes jazz but communicates nothing. A record that you will listen to time and again requires all three in roughly matching proportions, and if it lacks those, you will find you bought something in the way pop music listeners do, so that it fascinates you for a week and then languishes in the closet to get dumped at the used record store (where you will find many others of the same record, and get fifty cents for it as a result).

Blackwolfgoat is basically an atmospheric jam. There are spoken interludes on drone-related topics that really offer nothing and are replaying a hackneyed technique; if you delete those tracks (1, 5 and 9) you are left with a record of distorted guitar which uses technique and recursive melody well but aims for ambiance, i.e. not really coming to a point. This is where it fails: this is a jam, not an artistic communication, so while there’s a lot to like here, there is not much to listen to repeatedly here. The intention to create specific moods and expand their depth rather than extend them linearly, which is the core attribute of ambient music, does not rear its head often. Thus while this is enjoyable, it is best passed buy until the time when it hits the used rack for fifty cents, at which time it will make an interesting study in technique and texture for the budding guitarist.

3 Comments

Tags: ,

Equimanthorn – Nindinugga Nimshimshargal Enlillara (1994)


Remember back in the mid-1990s when every black metal musician of repute boasted involvement in at least one dark ambient project? Although the move away from metallic ground towards previously uncharted territories comes across as a farseeing maneuver in hindsight – black metal had after all reached its creative zenith at this point – the lion’s share of resultant products left a lot to be desired. (more…)

3 Comments

Tags: , , ,

Song Contest Results


It has been over a month since we have launched the song contest here at DMU. Our suspicions that very few people would enter the contest due to our reputation for honest yet harsh reviews were confirmed. This was probably why only two contestants presented themselves in any capacity. Consequently, no winner shall be appointed nor will awards be handed out: two entries do not constitute a contest.

(more…)

13 Comments

Tags: , , , ,

A Case for Weakling’s – Dead as Dreams (2000)

Article Contributed by Salustiano Ferdinand

tl;dr: Despite controversy surrounding the indie pedigree of Weakling’s musicians and their musical descendants, Dead as Dreams remains, as described by none other than Fenriz, an “odd masterpiece” on its musical merits and should be a part of any serious underground metal fan’s collection.  The album, for a number of reasons, is currently something of a locus of blame for whatever particular sins people ascribe to west coast black metal. Some people point to Weakling as the origin point of indie creep into US black metal due to the supposed indie credibility of its members in particular as well as to a lesser extent the trend of questionable publicity stunts engaged in by mediocre bands from Velvet Cocoon to Ghost Bath (although in Weakling’s case this should be blamed on the label, not the band). As a result of these complaints, Dead As Dreams has over time become something of an Emmanuel Goldstein for black metal fans, and the album some people are critiquing when they say “Dead as Dreams” (such as the time DMU’s most alpha editor described it as “shoegaze black metal”) bears little resemblance to the actual album Dead As Dreams.

(more…)

8 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

These Musicians May Be Executed When Sweden Institutes Sharia Law

Sweden is lost.

With an unstoppable invasion of Muslim migrants and a judicial system that refuses to prosecute their crimes, the nation’s progressive government leaders have definitively surrendered the future of Sweden into a Muslim majority.  It will only be a matter of time until a revolution occurs similar to that of Iran in 1979, when the country’s republic is overthrown and replaced by an Islamic theocracy and hijabs are forced on the women of Sweden.  It’s a reality that Swedes had better accept sooner than later as it has already happened to many other less willing nations within the last century.

Under Sharia law, there are harsh penalties for blasphemy, witchcraft, female indecency (exposing your body/not wearing a veil in public) and devil worship- ranging from a life in prison (with the press declaring you committed suicide) to public execution.  There will be no mercy shown for those who profaned/denied the image of God whether the act occurred during or after the new rule of law was instituted.  Therefore, any and all Swedish bands with such lyrical content will be quickly and efficiently strung up en masse when the new government arrives.

And if all this sounds crazy to you, just read the tale of Iranian metal band Confess and the horrors its musicians have been forced to endure.  After recording the lyrically harmless In Pursuit of Dreams (of which song titles include “Did You Get My Last Massage?” and “What Doesn’t Kill You Make You Exhausted!”), the band’s vocalist Nikan Kosravi were thrown into prison, forced in solitary confinement, and denied bail for almost a month.  The kid’s parents had to sell their houss and pay $30,000 for him to be released, and he faced the punishment of death by hanging for the crime of blasphemy.  He eventually hired a human trafficker to smuggle him out of the country to escape a 6 year prison sentence!

FYI Those are Saudi Arabian women being hanged, for all of you hijab-wearing feminists out there

But all the while brainless beta-cuck musicians existing in a Gothenburg liberal bubble like Tomas Lindberg of At the Gates will be decrying nationalism and populism as the horrifying bogyman that threatens their world.  They will cheer the eventual institution of Islamic government as “the end of a tyrannical Christian reign” and will not even notice the militants sneak up behind them until the bag is thrown over their heads.  Some of their fans will cry and throw tantrums and in retaliation be beaten in the streets, but they will ultimately do nothing as their Swedish death metal heroes are hanged by the neck right before their very eyes.

If you have ever played in a Swedish death or black metal band, you’d better get the hell out of the country before the day of Sharia comes (I’m giving it less than ten years).  And if you’re in a band on the below list, I am not kidding you: you are going to die!!!  To the rest of the world, prepare yourself, because it is likely only a matter of time before the musicians of following bands will likely be executed in front of a liberal metal world that was too dumb and too feminine to stand up to what is happening:

(more…)

39 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

/smr/ Sadistic Metal Reviews: Post Black Eulogy (Part 1)

[Join DMU editor Brock Dorsey on the first of a two part massacre of the soy metal sub genre that has bastaradized black metal beyond the belief!  Also, this image is an actual cover from an actual post black metal album- you can’t make this stuff up!]

Post black metal was an embarrassing sub genre of soy metal.  Built upon a foundation of either screamo, pop punk, metalcore, math rock, shoegaze, or avant-garde and fused with the most minimal touches of black metal, post black metal was a flavor of the week(/weak) trend that lasted from around 2009 to 2014.  The genre name is misleading, however, as most bands only claimed to be metal and incorporated only slight touches of metal characteristics before abandoning them completely in future releases.  As indicated by its core standard bearers being dropped by labels, performing terribly in sales and Facebook likes, and being forgotten by fans, post black metal has finally passed away.  As we lay it to rest with one final cremation in the SMR fashion, let us learn from its failings as the future looks to more traditional forms of heavy metal  to restore a once proud genre.

First, we must understand metal history to understand how such an abomination could happen, as Post-black metal followed a number of flavor of the week black metal trends and bands.  The first of these, symphonic black metal, sent many fans of the original (true) black metal genre into a frenzy with their incorporation of gothic influences.  What was to come would be much worse, however, as the soy metal bands marketed as black metal would prove to be far more embarrassing than the Victorian campiness of Cradle of Filth or the industrial meddling of …And Oceans.  The next flavor of the week black metal trend was cleverly concealed in a cloak of static, but the hipsterisms of “depressive black metal” would soon be known to the world.  Time was not kind to the legacy of Xasthur and Leviathan, both of whom are now widely panned against the metal community, as where the thousands of “bedroom black metal” clones who polluted Myspace.  With many short lived flavor of the week trends (such as “Norsecore” and “Cascadian black metal”) and bands (Kult ov Azazel, Inquisition) in between, the soy metal- black metal hybird that was post black metal was the next successful marketing scheme to deceive young and retarded metal fans alike.

Performed mostly by wealthy but useless trust fund kinds from liberal cities, post black metal was to metal as emo was to rock music: feminine, tame, and a complete and utter bastardazation.  Thus, post metal was eventually abandoned by its former fans, spat on by the metal community, dropped by metal/rock record labels, and remembered poorly by music lovers.  Much like how the rent some of its musicians was eventually cut off from their parent’s bank roll, post metal was eventually told to stop leaching off the metal community so that the genre may maintain a shred of dignity.

Brace yourselves for an infernal evisceration unlike aynthing you’ve ever seen before, because in this edition of SMR, we won’t just be sadistically reviewing albums…

 

 

we’ll be sadistically reviewing careers.

 

(more…)

53 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,