Another take on the Hellfest porn angle

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By now, you’ve probably heard that France’s Hellfest had been planning to team up with a porn site to provide entertainment at the show. Naturally, two sides have formed, the pro side who think either this might be cool or it should be allowed, and the con side which thinks it’s a bad idea.

I’m going to join the con side at a meta level by saying that I think we should be very careful about involving any industry with metal, including the “metal industry” (which should be an oxymoron) itself. Industry wants the opposite of music quality; it wants a tractable fan-base that will buy whatever comes out so long as it has some “new” quality, like using a trombone or a different singer.

Pornography is many things. There’s a moral argument against it from conservatives, which is that it debases the family; there’s also a moral argument against it from liberals, which is that it degrades women. Probably both are true to some degree, but it’s also true that women and men both voluntarily join up to participate both in the films and in purchasing the eventual product. Either it’s not debasing/degrading, or some people want that experience or at least don’t mind it.

But the real issue here is economic. People are already leery of Toyota’s Scion imprint sponsoring metal shows, or past sponsorship deals with alcohol companies. There’s no reason we should be less skeptical here just because porn is an “underground” industry (like the “metal industry”). It will still try to infiltrate and use you for its own ends, metal fans, because to it you represent dollar signs. Does the money go into the music, or the… ah… you know?

USA Deports Evil Invaders

Funderground Belgian speed metal band Evil Invaders were deported from the United States according to their Funbook page for not having the appropriate work visas to play a metal festival in Milwaukee. Evil Invaders were not being paid to play the festival. The festival organizers were only covering Evil Invaders plane tickets and transportation cost for the band and their equipment. Since the festival organizers were still charging for tickets and making money, Evil Invaders needed an appropriate work visa, which they did not have, thus they were deported.

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Real Sex with SJWs Contest Winners

Death Metal Underground finally has crowned a winner of our Real Sex with Social Justice Warriors Short Story Contest. GGALLIN1776’s morbid visions of bloody leftist degeneracy have been pounded into our staffs’ brains like a pistol butt cracking open a teenage thug’s skull:

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Defile the Inferior

Death Metal Underground’s staff makes great personal sacrifice to ensure that we degrade the unworthy, the inferior, and the charming. We show no mercy and will defile your corpse.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Catch of the Day

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: But Wait, There’s More!

More Sadistic Metal Reviews? Yes, yes, yes!

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Just Shoot Them

Guns get the job done.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews 12-23-2016

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Metallica – Hardwired… to Self-Destruct (2016)

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Review contributed to Death Metal Underground by the Peckerwood Boys. The audio review may be heard here.

Yep, just me here. A new Metallica album of all 45 rpms of pure American metal! 180 grams, limited to 500 copies. I’m gonna spin this bitch like NASCAR!

Lookin’ under the hood here, you got your Black Album riffs, you got your Pantera, and that sir, that’s gonna get you over to your cousin’s house faster than her boyfriend so you can propose to her. Now this album right here has really got me saying, “I’m glad, I’m glad it was Cliff!” That Master of Muppets there album had a lot on it I couldn’t understand in it. It was like tryin’ to make sense of one of them pieces of paper with scribbles on it, them black scribbles man.

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#MetalGate: The MetalSucks Manifesto

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Nu-metal and metalcore website MetalSucks posted the “The MetalSucks Manifesto” today, reaffirming their stance as communist social justice warriors. Donald Trump’s triumph in the 2016 United States presidential election apparently did not dishearten their leftist delusions. A neighbor to the MetalSucks headquarters in Axl Rosenberg’s Brooklyn tenement apartment has revealed exclusive insider information to Death Metal Underground about the activities of the MetalSucks politburo of Axl Rosenberg, Vince Neilstein, and Emperor Rhombus during the week following Trump’s victory.

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