SCAM ALERT: Via Nocturna Records

Despite the vitriolic hatred, nihilism, and misanthropy that death and black metal music is known for many artists/fans/labels have a developed a pretty blind system of trust and assumptions.  This code of honor stems from a general assumption of a “metal brotherhood” along with the idea that beatings or some other justice would be served in the event anyone acting out of line while also publicly listing their address online.  However the extreme metal scene has seen many legendary rip-off artists ranging from Peruvian fat-girl-fucker Christian Felipe Paucar Toledo, Nachmystium’s Blake Judd and his Battlekommand Records (now Ascension Monuments Media), and Blake’s drug addicted sidkick crony Jeff Wilson and his Disorder Recordings/Design.  To date, none of these men have been beaten within an inch of their life despite robbing and conning people in droves, and all of them continue to tour and sell music.  Therefore, ripping people off appears to carry no penalty, or at least within the boundaries of the metal world.

Many musicians on Bandcamp have reported they are receiving an emails from a “label” calling itself Via Nocturnal Records.  The label starts off with an obviously generic message saying they want to release the band’s music on CD.  After responding positively indicating interest, the label now sends the bait for a really outrageous and embarrassing metal scam.

(more…)

6 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Anal Cunt Guitarist Josh Martin Dies In Freak Escalator Accident

Anal Cunt guitarist Josh Martin, known for penning a number of outrageously offensive and theatrical songs, has passed away after falling from a mall escalator and striking his head.

Those who remember Anal Cunt for their enjoyable live shows, over-the-top lyrics, and grinding chaotic composition will find themselves familiar with Martin from his work in the composition and live performance of hits from the Anal Cunt catalogue.

He died doing what he enjoyed: “clowning around.” As news reports of his death tell us:

Josh Martin, a 45-year-old guitarist with the band Anal C**t, is said to have lost his balance, fallen backwards and hit his head on a table after losing his balance while riding the escalator.

Police told local reporters that he fell one storey from the cinema level to the food court below at Providence Place Mall shortly before 11pm on Monday evening.

A report described him as ‘clowning around and riding the rail of the escalator’ and fell off as he approached the downward part of the handrail.

Martin outlived his bandmate, vocalist Seth Putnam, by seven years after Putnam died in 2011 at age 43.

We choose to remember him through his irreverent sense of humor and his work, which ranged from musical comedy to fast, grinding sonic mayhem which introduced a new generation to grindcore. A brief career retrospective follows.

And some influences:

8 Comments

Tags: , , , , , ,

Thrift Store Alert! Judas Iscariot to Get the Re-Release Treatment

Of all of the bands and all of the musicians that have come out of retirement in attempt to cash in on their past, Judas Iscariot’s Akhenetan (Andrew Harris) has been one rare exception who has truly vanished into the depths of obscurity for good.  Responsible for starting the careers of both Moribund Records and Krieg, Harris’s Judas Iscariot was once the most popular American black metal band.  Formed in the days where Euronymous was still alive, JI played in the long-form Darkthrone style and memorably used (albeit poorly understood) Nietzsche Nilisist lyrics.  But after a celebrated career of mediocre black metal was capped off with a wild family campaign scandal in 2002 (more on that in a moment), Akhenetan laid down his axe and disappeared forever.

But in an age where metal thrift-stores like Nuclear War Now! and their cronies will resell whatever refurbished sonic garbage they can find, Ascension Monuments Media has decided to dig up the rotted corpse of Judas Iscariot for another dose of record store necrophilia.  Run by none other than Nachtmystium’s Blake Judd (oh shit! hide your wallets!), AMM is re-releasing tons of old Judas Iscariot vinyls and a super secret, unreleased (rejected) album called An Ancient Starry Sky.

While Akhenetan himself remains in long board room meetings with corporate banker swine, Judd and his label have successfully wrestled away the rights to almost all the music not released by Moribund (whose royalty rights are locked away in a chest in Odin Thompson’s basement).  So how does this material hold up nearly 20 years later, to a scene and a world that’s turned completely upside down?  What can we expect from this latest endeavor of hipster metal mania?  And just why did the most popular American black metal musician of the 90’s go into complete exile, never to return?

(more…)

9 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

SOYBOY LEFTIES USE BOTNET TO TARGET DEATH METAL UNDERGROUND

A bunch of pussy beta male cucks have spent a ridiculous amount of money on a botnet to shut down Death Metal Underground, the free speech social network Gab, and a number of Alt Right websites such as Amerika, The Right Stuff, and American Resistance.  Why did they consider DMU “Alt Right” despite the fact that we’ve never written about race and have even expressed support for Israel emasculating their scumbag neighbors?  The answer is simple- DEATH METAL UNDERGROUND IS DANGEROUS AND FEARED BY LIFE’S LOSERS.

In an age where the terms “far right” “Alt Right” “fascist” “Nazi” and “racist” are all collectively lobbed at anyone who expresses social/political/cultural views that are not liberal (including centrists), depressed failures are dedicating much of their time and money to try and shutdown any school of thought outside of the pop culture group think of the moment.  This has spread to all forms of society, ranging from the mainstream normies to obscure music genres as niche as death metal.  With nothing to look forward to in their future, these neo-communists want to drag the entirety of society to their world of emptiness and sorrow.  A world where feelings supersede logic and nothing matters in the world outside of the individual’s comforts.

The war with the left must be waged in every space, on every front, by every rational human being in this nation.  Therefore Brock Dorsey, Brett Stevens, and the whole Death Metal Underground team will keep fighting until we are obliterated from cyberspace.  Fortunately, this fate will take a lot more than a lightweight botnet and a bunch of nu-male dweebs spending a ton of money to do little more than elevate our status to the stuff of legend.

(more…)

37 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DMU UNDER SIEGE

Death Metal Underground has been under heavy DDOS attacks for the past 3 days due to our alliance with the right wing website Amerika.  Amerika appears to be under siege as part of the mass censorship campaign that has gotten AltRight.com kicked off their server.  The collateral damage has also affected DMU and kept us off the web for several days.

Under Brett’s orders we have broken formation and appear to be out of the killzone.  Thus comms are back online, and Death Metal Underground may continue its crusade against leftism and false metal. Amerika remains in the bunkers, engaging the enemy.

Fortunately, we know where the attacks are coming from (ips, emails) and who is behind them (personal and family social media accounts). Our countermeasures and next course of action will remain covert at this time.  Meanwhile, keep checking back for more updates. We will not be silenced.

Semper Fidelis,

~Brock

9 Comments

Tags: , , , ,

SAD! MetalSucks Flagrantly Plagiarizes Death Metal Underground

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but such is not true when it’s done by a fat, zit-faced loser with fedora tattoos who calls himself “Emperor Rhombus.”  Because right now, plastered on the MetalSucks front page at the time of this writing, is a ridiculously obvious rip off of an editorial I did just a month ago.  Seriously, the damn thing is worse than when Nile blatantly stole the melody from the Candlemass song “Well of Souls” in their “Unas Slayer of the Gods” mess of a track.  Hell, it’s even worse than that top hat wearing Dimmu Borgir keyboardist replicating the piano from Magnum’s “Sacred Hour” and using it as the intro for Stormblast. But I guess that when your life is regulated to creeping out young girls at Selena Gomez concerts with your virgin-tier Electric Wizard shirt, you’re bound to spend much of your days fantasizing about being a true alpha badass like Brock Dorsey.

(more…)

19 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

These Musicians May Be Executed When Sweden Institutes Sharia Law

Sweden is lost.

With an unstoppable invasion of Muslim migrants and a judicial system that refuses to prosecute their crimes, the nation’s progressive government leaders have definitively surrendered the future of Sweden into a Muslim majority.  It will only be a matter of time until a revolution occurs similar to that of Iran in 1979, when the country’s republic is overthrown and replaced by an Islamic theocracy and hijabs are forced on the women of Sweden.  It’s a reality that Swedes had better accept sooner than later as it has already happened to many other less willing nations within the last century.

Under Sharia law, there are harsh penalties for blasphemy, witchcraft, female indecency (exposing your body/not wearing a veil in public) and devil worship- ranging from a life in prison (with the press declaring you committed suicide) to public execution.  There will be no mercy shown for those who profaned/denied the image of God whether the act occurred during or after the new rule of law was instituted.  Therefore, any and all Swedish bands with such lyrical content will be quickly and efficiently strung up en masse when the new government arrives.

And if all this sounds crazy to you, just read the tale of Iranian metal band Confess and the horrors its musicians have been forced to endure.  After recording the lyrically harmless In Pursuit of Dreams (of which song titles include “Did You Get My Last Massage?” and “What Doesn’t Kill You Make You Exhausted!”), the band’s vocalist Nikan Kosravi were thrown into prison, forced in solitary confinement, and denied bail for almost a month.  The kid’s parents had to sell their houss and pay $30,000 for him to be released, and he faced the punishment of death by hanging for the crime of blasphemy.  He eventually hired a human trafficker to smuggle him out of the country to escape a 6 year prison sentence!

FYI Those are Saudi Arabian women being hanged, for all of you hijab-wearing feminists out there

But all the while brainless beta-cuck musicians existing in a Gothenburg liberal bubble like Tomas Lindberg of At the Gates will be decrying nationalism and populism as the horrifying bogyman that threatens their world.  They will cheer the eventual institution of Islamic government as “the end of a tyrannical Christian reign” and will not even notice the militants sneak up behind them until the bag is thrown over their heads.  Some of their fans will cry and throw tantrums and in retaliation be beaten in the streets, but they will ultimately do nothing as their Swedish death metal heroes are hanged by the neck right before their very eyes.

If you have ever played in a Swedish death or black metal band, you’d better get the hell out of the country before the day of Sharia comes (I’m giving it less than ten years).  And if you’re in a band on the below list, I am not kidding you: you are going to die!!!  To the rest of the world, prepare yourself, because it is likely only a matter of time before the musicians of following bands will likely be executed in front of a liberal metal world that was too dumb and too feminine to stand up to what is happening:

(more…)

39 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Most Popular Death Metal Bands- Who is #1?

Who is the most popular death metal band?

It’s one of those esoteric questions that wanders in and out of the mind without a quick Google search to offer a definite solution.  But today it dawned on me that if I don’t try to find an answer, it’s unlikely any one else will do a decent job at doing so.  And given the fact that deathmetal.org is the number one site that comes up when you Google “death metal news,” I believe we have a journalistic duty to present the world with this information.

Since where to draw the line on what’s “true” death metal or not is a matter of opinion moreso than concrete fact, I determined that anything labeled “death metal” would be fair game whether it truly was a pure death metal band or not.  Therefore I’d consider melodic death metal, black metal, and even deathcore in an effort to find who had conquered the greater sphere of death metal.

Unfortunately, the Nielsen record sale tracking data is not public and often does not identify how well an album has sold for many years after its release.  Thus, I determined that the most accurate metric for mining this data would be to measure by Facebook likes.  Yes, I know it’s not an exact science- many fans aren’t on Facebook, and many people click a band’s like button without really listening to them.  But still, it was as good as I would ever get to finding who the most popular band in the greater bounds of “death metal” truly was.

I expected to see the favorites of the 90’s metal press and MTVX dominate- Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel, Decide, Death, and probably In Flames take the number 1 spot.  Imagine my shock, that only one of these bands even cracked the top 5!  I had always heard about Morbid Angel and Deicide had the highest album sales, but it appears neither band has been able to conquer the internet age.

So again, this list was populated within very forgiving boundaries (bands loosely considered death metal, whether or not I believed them to be), and the best metric I could come up with.  Also, DO NOT FUCKING EVEN THINK OF CONFUSING THIS AS BEING A LIST OF THE BEST DEATH METAL- IT IS QUITE THE OPPOSITE!!!  And finally, if there are any bands you think I missed please let me know in the comments below and I will gladly do a live update and give you credit- maybe.

Without further ado, here is – for the first time in history – a list of the most popular bands that people considered to be death metal, and an explanation to why I would endure the immense visceral hatred for even considering them:

(more…)

44 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,