Sadistic Metal Reviews: Rape of Your Faves

George Psalmanazar submitted a few reviews of albums he vehemently despises to Death Metal Underground. Enjoy!

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Denmark Prosecutes Koran Burning

Denmark has filed blasphemy charges against a man for burning the Koran. Denmark still has blasphemy laws on the books preventing the public mockery or scorn of religion. This is a massive display of pandering to the religious fanatics who are currently causing an epidemic of public sexual violence against women across the European continent. Muslims consider the Koran to be the actual rambling words of God to Muhammad despite their being no evidence of the book existing in any form until the 720s, almost a century after the death of the Muslim prophet Muhammad.

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Demilich Patches Available

The first official Demilich patches ever made are now available. Do you want to stick an official Demilich patch on your bag or battle jacket? Then buy them directly from the band and not some Greek, German, or South American bootlegger.

A Blaze in the Northern Sky Turns Twenty-Five

Darkthrone‘s second album, A Blaze in the Northern Sky, turns twenty-five today. For much of the mid 90s, Darkthrone constantly referred to A Blaze in the Northern Sky as their first album as it was the first commercially released record to adopt the quick and dirty “necro” production style and to have been part of the Norwegian black metal second wave initiated by Mayhem. However most of the individual musical inspirations were audible on their prior Soulside Journey album recorded at Sunlight Studio; the compositions on A Blaze in the Northern Sky were just much more sparse and droning due to different overall compositional goals reflecting the shift from progressive death metal riff mazes to minimalistic Hellhammerism.

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Master’s Hammer to Play Bjorgvin Black Mass 2017

Legendary Czech black metal originators Master’s Hammer are playing this years Bjorgvin Black Mass in Bjorgvin, Norway. This is Master’s Hammer’s first indoor live set in over a quarter century. The band is exclusively playing their early, metal material such as Ritual. Enslaved is also playing an exclusive Vikingligr Veldi anniversary show. Scandinavian black metal fans should check this out.

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Sarcasm Premier New Track

Swedish melodick death/black metal band Sarcasm premiered a new track from their upcoming Within the Sphere of Ethereal Minds. “In the Grip of Awakened Times” continues in the same vein as Sarcasm’s previous insipid work released on the Burial Dimensions 2xCD compilation, which had a few promising compositions but was overall uninspiring.

Disma Premiers The Graveless Remains Title Track

Craig Pillard‘s (Incantation) controversial death metal band Disma premiered the title track from their upcoming EP, The Graveless Remains on Soundcloud today. “The Graveless Remains” is nothing special despite featuring the drumming of once and probably still amazing original Immolation drummer Craig Smilowski. Preorder The Graveless Remains from Profound Lore Records here if you wish the the will to enact your own inner-desires to own every C-grade death metal release ever published if the record is of the same caliber as the title track which I surely hope it won’t be. I know some of our readers out there will feel compelled to buy this even if that is the case. though. The Graveless Remains probably won’t as good as the Disma LP and certainly not even Mortal Throne of Nazarene. Where there’s a will, there’s a way but more of the Craigs is always welcome.

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Pale Existence Re-Releases “Dark Sanctuary” Demo (1994)

Experimental underground metal band Pale Existence has re-issued its 1994 demo cassette “Dark Sanctuary” in digital form. This allows a new generation to hear the music that borrowed from doom metal, early black metal, melodic death metal and abrasive deathgrind to create a vision of desolation and emptiness that mirrored the downfall of Western Civilization.

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