Slayer Adds Second Leg To Farewell Tour

Some time ago, seminal band Slayer — who along with Bathory and Hellhammer created the germinal material and style of death metal — decided to call it a day after thirty-seven years of recording, touring, and generally causing problems. Upon the announcement of their retirement, many nascent and older Slayer fans came out of the woodwork, so the band has added a second leg to its tour.

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Whiny Leaf Metal Singer Disparages American Workers

Ivor Whitten, the useless vocalist of the D-grade Canadian thrash metal band Anvil, complained in a recently published radio interviewtarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” about how American workers are lazy and would all take welfare if they could. As many of us know, Ivor and Anvil’s entie legacy is their depressing but well marketed documentary on how being in a metal band is hard and they don’t have any money to go to the Asian sushi place near Niagra Falls after 20 years of playing generic thrash metal that was never good. Obviously triggered by the bored response the band receives at their American shows along with the tragic realization that he and his fellow musicians only were able to make money by getting people to feel sorry for them upon seeing their pathetic life story, Ivor foolishly proclaimed:target=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external”

From my personal experience, in America, it’s pretty much taken for granted and people kind of look at it like, ‘So what?’ Because people in that country, generally speaking, are lazy, and if they can go on welfare, they will. They don’t have work ethics. So how could they relate to a story about somebody who keeps trying and being faced with adversities and failures?”

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Sammath Posts Live Set From Show In The Netherlands

Raging black metal band Sammath posted a set from their show of February 24, 2018, at an unspecified location in The Netherlands, showing the furious assault of this intense yet melodic band at its maximum ferocity. Having burst into life in 1994, Sammath made a name for itself with albums such as Strijd and Godless Arrogance in a career arc spanning a decade and a half.

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The Problem With Metal Isn’t Just The Taake Poop Swastika Incident

Back in the day, Taake was the black metal band you settled for because all the old bands were no longer recording great stuff and your only other option was bedroom black metal. They were not bad, but had more in common with the melodic heavy metal hybrids that combined death metal with power metal riffing and pretty melodies. That makes it weird in a time where Taake is one of the better options out there.

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/smr/ SADISTIC METAL REVIEWS: YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD EDITION

You know your nation has reached peak sadism when kids are using the shooting deaths of their classmates to catapult themselves into celebrity stardom.  That means the time has come for frequent, merciless, rapid fire sadistic metal reviews.

BUCKLE UP, BECAUSE THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

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Ulcerate – Shrines of Paralysis (2016)

These dudes are from New Zealand. Cross A Perfect Circle with Vader, Fear Factory, and Immolation and you get Ulcerate.  Taking a listen to this band, I want to thank your country for Dead Alive, but cannot help but think this album begins with an instant headache.  I love the mid range DM vocals, and feel that they are really strong.  The guitar comes across as missing something. At the 3:37 mark the guitar starts coming through with some darker, catchier moments.  I cannot help but think the drums are a bit over-processed, and are being a bit overplayed. The snare sounds cool, but the double kicks are a bit distracting.  To its credit, these songs are unpredictable. However, they could use more of a hook.  There is a bit of a 90s industrial thing hidden in there, along with a little bit of Immolation off-balanced riffs.  You have to listen real hard to hear it, but it sounds like bass distortion with a pick on the low end, adding some gnarleyness.

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With New Song, Dimmu Borgir Officially Becomes Nightwish

In an unexpected turn of events, Mortal-Kombat-tier Norwegian opera-metallers Dimmu Borgir have gone full on symphonic power metal in their new song.  Embracing the trending female fronted power/quest metal sound that has replaced metalcore as the newest wave of a strange phenomenon known as “girlfriend metal” (the metal your girlfriend puts on while she’s cleaning the house), Dimmu have essentially robbed the sound of Nightwish, Epica, and Within Temptation while yet retaining the Hollywood-orc vocals of Shagrath.  While moments resembling early Blind Guardian are in fact an improvement over a preceding album that was almost completely devoid of guitars, this is by no means quality power metal nor is it the hybrid of older Dimmu styles that the band has been mouthing off about the past few months.

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/dmg/ DEATH METAL GENERAL: LIBERAL CANCER EDITION

In just one week, the nauseating disease that is liberalsim has managed to shutdown the tour of a black metal/shock rocker and breakup a black metal/crust band.  While this is to be applauded in this instance as crusty black metal is paradoxal and live black metal is outright cringeworthy, it is atrocious that there are so many happenings of metal being bent over and embarrassed by an ideology as frail and useless as liberalism.  But contrary to the voices of life dropouts, the solution won’t be found in neckbeard occultism, Paganism, or other extensions of fatalism.  This disease may only be obliterated by THE TEMPLAR and their mercilessness opposition!  This means unapologitic masculinity, the re-institution of theocratic imperial order, the abolishment of atheism and materialsim, the cruel shaming of sodomites, and the complete annihilation of individualism and its atrocities.  The only true freedom is in complete submission to the LORD, who unleashed these plagues on a Western world that turned away from his divine order in 1789, closed their ears to his commands in the 60s, and completely fled his divine law in the last decade.  If you don’t soon take up the cross you’ll see your precious metal scene completely overrun by masculine women, post-emo beta-males, and neo-commies who will erase your metal heroes and replace them with emasculated champions of diversity!  DEUS VULT OR DIE
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