Russianvids Exposes Metallica

Youtube conspiracy theory vlogger Russianvids exposed Metallica’s connection to the Masonic-Satanic Illuminati. Russianvids noted many displays of goofy homoerotic antics from James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine, and Kirk Hammet. Lars Urlich’s predilection for kissing and tonguing other men is shown. Russianvids explain this is part of the Masonic conspiracy to condition the general populace into accepting homosexuality as normal rather than statistically abnormal behavior.

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Vice Magazine’s Embarrassing French Black Metal Film

As part of their quest to ruin everything interesting and appealing about both metal and life, the gullible cronies of media pyramid scheme Vice Magazine have journeyed to the grim countrysides of the French black metal underground to film what is undoubtedly the most boring film in the history of music. While Vice markets this abomination as a “documentary” calling it such is actually a misleading statement as the film is little more than a collection of autistic ramblings without a single question or narrative statement. In any case, the eyesore is a bastardization of the region’s legacy as any shred of decency still possessed by the founding members of Mutiilation and Drakkar Productions have been urinated directly into the toilet as they hammed it up for the same forces that they claim to be rebelling against. Fortunately, the film’s lack of credible sources and unbelievably poor post-production prevents it from succeeding in the demystification of what was once one of the more intriguing regional black metal scenes.

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Metalucifer Release “We Are Still Metal Kids” Video

Metalucifer, the heavy metal loving parody side project of Gezol from Sabbat (Japan), released a new video to Youtube from their upcoming split 7″ with Sabbat. “We Are Still Metal Kids” is a  disposable, haphazard parody of NWOBHM bands such as Iron Maiden and Judas Priest just like all other Metalucifer songs . It will also eventually appear on an upcoming album to be released on Iron Pegasus / R.I.P Records. Metalucifer’s previous albums (Heavy Metal Drill, Heavy Metal Chainsaw, and Heavy Metal Bulldozer) and all of their other cash grab releases are all pretty much disposable kitsch but still better than most of the war metal, metalcore, and crypto-indie rock the Funderground attempts to force down our throats.

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New Suffocation Record “Put Together Right on the Spot”

In a recent promotional video for Suffocation‘s upcoming not so great album …Of the Dark Light, frontman Frank Mullen admitted that since the band members live all over the place and not in one centralized area, have lives outside of Suffocation, and don’t really practice as much anymore “so a lot of stuff was put together kinda like right on the spot.” Rhythm guitarist Charlie Errigo said “It’s like a videogame. It’s like each riff is a level and you got that hard riff that’s the boss.”

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Burzum’s Top Ten Metal Influences

Varg Vikernes posted a video a few weeks ago to his ThuleanPerspective Youtube channel listing the ten metal albums most influential to Burzum. We forced a lowly, supple-assed Death Metal Underground junior staffer/catamite to type them up into a play list for our readers:

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Varg on Killing Euronymous

Varg Vikernes of Burzum posted a video a while back about how he was convicted for the “murder” of Mayhem mastermind Euronymous. Varg states again that Euronymous had long planned to kidnap, torture, and murder him in the forests, that he stabbed Euronymous in self-defense, and that most of Euronymous’s 23 wounds were from broken glass he fell on. Want to know how Varg was set up by the Norwegian legal system and how his lawyer did an inadequate job defending him from the falsified evidence thrown at him? Let’s find out!

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Varg on Darkthrone

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Varg Vikernes reflects on Fenriz‘s alcohol consumption, BurzumDet som engang var‘s CD release, the intelligence of Darkthrone, and the toxicity of the scene centered around Helvete in a video uploaded to his ThuleanPerspective Youtube channel. Want to know about how Fenriz felt about Euronymous‘s death and threats toward Varg? Let’s find out!

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Varg on Dead and Death

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Varg Vikernes discussed how Dead from Morbid and Mayhem ratted out to Euronymous that Old Funeral didn’t like Venom, preventing them from being the first release on Deathlike Silence Productions, as he tuned up the brakes on his UAZ personnel transport. Want to learn about the Indo-European reincarnation, veneration of the dead, and excarnation rituals? What for Varg constitutes cars for real men? Let’s find out!

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