Countess
The Revenge Of The Horned One Part 2
[Barbarian Wrath]


Am I the only one out here that cannot fucking stand anything Countess has done since Book of the Heretic? It really seems amazing to me that despite almost a complete dissipation of power, twisted Bathoryish blackness and Orlok's once-ferocious squawking screams, the band is getting five hundred times the worship that it was back around the days of Ad Maiorem Sathanae Gloriam. Not only that, but everybody seems to be in a complete "Countess can do no wrong" or "Countess are completely flawless" mentality, and I have seen some go so far as to even call Orlok the best vocalist to ever exist!

"The best vocalist to ever exist" now sounds like a defective crow that collided with a power line, and all the previous incredibly hypnotic low-fidelity of the music has been replaced by pointlessly overdone synths that could have come out of a third-rate computer RPG. It's hard to believe that there was a time when I considered the sonically vehement blood pouring from Orlok's lips to be paralleled by very few others, because to me his voice has always been the predominant special feature that separated Countess and filled it with life. Everything degenerated into some stupid low singing around the period of Shining Swords of Hate, and since then, nothing has changed much; indeed he has taken some measures to return to the old style since then, but it mostly seems like a disjointed, out of place and half-hearted attempt that appears as background noise to these endless two chord patterns. Countess used to rock all the way through with a vibe that good black metal always has, and now it just seems like a cheap and catchy (painful to say this upcoming part) often-times joke band.

"Blood Wedding (Saint Bartholomew's Day 1572)" absolutely must have the stupidest and happiest intro I have ever heard in my entire life. It's so bad that every time it begins I sit in complete shock with my mouth ajar for ten seconds, and it's so unbelievably cheerful that it makes Enya look like fucking Veles. Then Orlok jumps in with a weak laugh and sputters a few words and all of a sudden there also enters about the most retarded sound ever recorded (there is a pattern in this song) - I'd swear it came directly out of that old Nintendo game "Bubble Bobble," and it actually continues throughout this painfully seven minute long track! The neverending album has some kind of continuously spacey, worthless jiving feel ("Child of the Millenia!") that I can never shake from the rest of the music, and it whines along in all of the most annoying ways.

I am so fucking sick of these transitions...


2002 hando