Graveworm
Scourge Of Malice
[Last Episode/Serenades]
You know how sometimes you listen to Trouble for the amazing riffing and brilliant solos but with the lyrics you sort of have to go "in one ear and out the other?" That works with this album too, except you have to use the same defense mechanism against the guitars, drumming, vocals, and probably the largest heap of gay keyboards in existence. Once you've taken the time to strip away all these useless possible elements from the music, you're left with something rather serene emanating from your speakers, and you'll realize that underneath all that noise a far better band awaits.
You kids probably thought that butchering Helloween's "How Many Tears" was bad enough, but you haven't seen anything yet. On this album Graveworm proceed, with their own special blend of not only Cradle of Filth influenced music but Hecate Enthroned as well, to take on the almighty Iron Maiden themselves by completely raping the classic "Fear of the Dark." Upon listening to this cover I wonder why Maiden didn't opt to put Christian gospel choirs into the original version, but perhaps their beliefs simply aren't powerful enough to experience such divine revelations.
Scourge of Malice may lack substance, atmosphere, power, talent, ability, good qualities, emotion, creativity, and intelligence by the creators, but the good news is (get ready now) they have found replacements for all of this: 365,000 guest musicians, most of whom are also affiliated with Last Episode! Germany doesn't need to bother with any "support homosexuality" conventions and parades like America does, because they simply open the doors during any Last Episode recording session and all of the lonely faggots streamline in to be with their brethren. As an added bonus, this is a paramount opportunity to market off all their blasphemous products, and the label can continue to support its campaigns of mass gayness. If you're ever having difficulties thinking of a name for your band, simply latch onto Last Episode, because it's one of the few places where it will never really matter.
Incase you just aren't getting it yet (what's sad is how many people reading this will actually need this disclaimer), this is absolutely THE WORST FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. It's not only the worst German band ever, it's the worst any band ever, in any genre, at any period in the existence of any lifeform. It's even worse than Dunkelgrafen, which is in turn worse than Mystic Circle.
As when you listen to something so absolutely vile, vicious, hateful, ugly and evil that you can't believe it could possibly be recorded by humans, Graveworm will have exactly the opposite affect on you, but might put a similar notion into your mind - it's incredulous that actual surviving, functioning people could possibly produce and release something this bad. Probably even worse than all of that yet is that there are others out there who are going to like it. Now how many would have predicted this in 1984...
© 2002 hando
You kids probably thought that butchering Helloween's "How Many Tears" was bad enough, but you haven't seen anything yet. On this album Graveworm proceed, with their own special blend of not only Cradle of Filth influenced music but Hecate Enthroned as well, to take on the almighty Iron Maiden themselves by completely raping the classic "Fear of the Dark." Upon listening to this cover I wonder why Maiden didn't opt to put Christian gospel choirs into the original version, but perhaps their beliefs simply aren't powerful enough to experience such divine revelations.
Scourge of Malice may lack substance, atmosphere, power, talent, ability, good qualities, emotion, creativity, and intelligence by the creators, but the good news is (get ready now) they have found replacements for all of this: 365,000 guest musicians, most of whom are also affiliated with Last Episode! Germany doesn't need to bother with any "support homosexuality" conventions and parades like America does, because they simply open the doors during any Last Episode recording session and all of the lonely faggots streamline in to be with their brethren. As an added bonus, this is a paramount opportunity to market off all their blasphemous products, and the label can continue to support its campaigns of mass gayness. If you're ever having difficulties thinking of a name for your band, simply latch onto Last Episode, because it's one of the few places where it will never really matter.
Incase you just aren't getting it yet (what's sad is how many people reading this will actually need this disclaimer), this is absolutely THE WORST FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. It's not only the worst German band ever, it's the worst any band ever, in any genre, at any period in the existence of any lifeform. It's even worse than Dunkelgrafen, which is in turn worse than Mystic Circle.
As when you listen to something so absolutely vile, vicious, hateful, ugly and evil that you can't believe it could possibly be recorded by humans, Graveworm will have exactly the opposite affect on you, but might put a similar notion into your mind - it's incredulous that actual surviving, functioning people could possibly produce and release something this bad. Probably even worse than all of that yet is that there are others out there who are going to like it. Now how many would have predicted this in 1984...
© 2002 hando