The Love of Christ

[Scipio]

I would like to share a revelation that I received this very day.  One which may change the way in which I view my life forever onward.  Today I discovered the acceptance of Christ.  I discovered the warmth and bounty of His being.  For it was with unprejudiced and unconditional love that Christ accepted me into His anus.  Truly, it was a kingdom of bliss.  His tender eyes, though masking His pain, passionately empathised as he endured burden and punishment for my sake.  He bled for me and suffered.  I ask repentance, Lord!  For all the blasphemy and vanity uttered by my voice.  Had I but known Your wonders.  Had I but tasted Your intoxicating wine.  "Forever be praised, my lord."  I shouted as I deposited my seed.  The burning embers of spiritual awakening subsided and I sheathed myself.  Christ embraced me and spoke into my ear.  "My child, if ever again you are in need you must only let me know."  With those departing words he was gone.  I don't know if I'll ever see him again, or if I shall for eternity be tantalized with the memories of heaven.  I know the day will come when I call upon him in need.  Yet, will he return?  I pray.

[Dinaric Leather]

Interesting story but watch out for black metal skinheads! They might have to stomp you... and sodomize Mother Marys virgin ass until the whole boneyard stinks!

SALVE SATHANAS!

[Tzadikim]

Hilarious. And oh-so-anti-edgy.

[Transcix]

Personally I found that very contrived.

[Curmudgeon]

How boring.

[Humanicide]

SODOMIIIIIIIIIIIZE

THE HOLY ASSHOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE

[scourge]

Yes, the gay prophet. It is likely Fritz Leiber parodied Christ in one of his short stories from decades ago.

Thus the "effeminate" and "limp-wristed" Issek of the Jug becomes Fafhrd's god

In the legend, the pacifist demigod was also shorn of hair and broken on the rack which explains the immasculated impressions readers take away. Fafhrd, the hulking northern swordman turns oddly pacifist for a short while and works Issek's temple (initially a tent) up the street of the gods in competition with other temples and against street criminal racketeering. This last, if I recall, is partly why the hero had to return to a life of bloodletting, abandoning Issek's cause.

[indjaseemun]

I'm tired of people associating gay anal sex with Christ.

I admit that the passage about turning the other cheek is totally gay, but I wonder if it is to be taken literally.

Maybe if you consider to love thy enemy loving the bad circumstances (for example, if I'm ultra fat it's going to be very hard getting in sape, and the best way is to love the effort and suffering). Maybe it means to just ignore your suffering while you're making a great effort, and instead of revolting against circumstances, be more realistical and face them (thus giving your face to be slapped).

I wish this is the real meaning, I don't think anyone would be so stupid as to advise people to turn the other cheek when slapped.

[radiant=ANIME WITCHES]

I wish this is the real meaning, I don't think anyone would be so stupid as to advise people to turn the other cheek when slapped.

Keep on wishing, if leading by example is any indicator, Jesus meant that quite literally.

You know, the whole "Hey Peter put that sword away" deal and the "offered himself up on the cross" thing. I don't find it a particularly stupid teaching, though certainly an impossibly high-minded one.

[nous]

I'm tired of people associating gay anal sex with Christ.

Ignorance.

"The more they curse God the more they praise Him" (Eckhart)

[indjaseemun]

I wish this is the real meaning, I don't think anyone would be so stupid as to advise people to turn the other cheek when slapped.

Keep on wishing, if leading by example is any indicator, Jesus meant that quite literally.

You know, the whole "Hey Peter put that sword away" deal and the "offered himself up on the cross" thing. I don't find it a particularly stupid teaching, though certainly an impossibly high-minded one.

I don't know, man... From what I've been reading, there are a lot of interpretations of the bible, for example, that Jesus is us and we are god that descend into mather and thus has to suffer and purify ourselves to reach perfection, etc... (this one is present in many myths).

Nous: Yeah I agree, altought do you mean this?

[radiant=ANIME WITCHES]

I wish this is the real meaning, I don't think anyone would be so stupid as to advise people to turn the other cheek when slapped.

Keep on wishing, if leading by example is any indicator, Jesus meant that quite literally.

You know, the whole "Hey Peter put that sword away" deal and the "offered himself up on the cross" thing. I don't find it a particularly stupid teaching, though certainly an impossibly high-minded one.

I don't know, man... From what I've been reading, there are a lot of interpretations of the bible, for example, that Jesus is us and we are god that descend into mather and thus has to suffer and purify ourselves to reach perfection, etc... (this one is present in many myths).

Yah? There are a lot of interpretations of the Bhagavad-Gita, Finnegan's Wake and Harry Potter. Any text with a modicum of complexity can be "interpreted" into any number of "meanings" -- i.e. twisted to fit our worldview. I can certainly see the appeal of attempting a more esoteric reading of the Gospels -- after all, it's not particularly cool to turn the other cheek, or to live in poverty -- but this is what Jesus (allegedly) said and (allegedly) did, and moreover, what his immediate disciples followed as well. Of course, once the Church lost its underdog status poverty and cheek-turning went out the window and those calling themselves Christians needed to reconcile this conflict -- hence we interpret.

That's not to say that some of the stuff you mention may not be true; extreme pacifism and poverty are a withdrawal from life, and thus a way to enter into a "more perfect communion with God" or other such hooey but I think that only validates what I said more....

[Dinaric Leather]

That's not to say that some of the stuff you mention may not be true; extreme pacifism and poverty are a withdrawal from life...

The things that are eternally true in the Gospels are remnants of the European and Middle Eastern pagan origins of Christianity. The slave mentality and materialism is a product of the Jewish heritage of Christianity. This is why Christianity appears to have a mixed record through history. All Christians will be thrown into the pit!

[reasonable]

Forgive my ignorance, but could you please point out where the materialism is in Christianity?

[metal on metal]

Forgive my ignorance, but could you please point out where the materialism is in Christianity?

It defines the very existence of 99% of self-proclaimed believers, so there must be some source of this phenomenon in the dogma itself.