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Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery

Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 21, 2011, 06:20:29 AM
Quote
Q: You need to get a girlfriend

A: Why the fuck would I want to do that? I've had girlfriends in the past and they are fucking mental timewasting retards. If you honestly think sex is worth that headache then you are sorely mistaken. I prefer expanding my intellectual horizons rather than becoming a bored, frustrated boyfriend who spends all his money keeping an annoying woman happy.

http://www.wehatemacs.com/en/index.php?id=3&sub=36

At the very least, you should only "get a girlfriend" when it's the right person. Otherwise, more masturbation using others as warm meat.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 21, 2011, 02:11:07 PM
It's one the things society expects from you so you can be a slave like everyone else. The logic is like this: if you don't have a job then something is wrong with you, if you don't have a girlfriend/wife then something is wrong with you, if you don't drive a car then something is wrong with you, if you're not up to your ass in debts then something is wrong with you...

Anything to keep you from seeing reality and being in complete control of your own life. The people who criticize you for not following their routine just want to make you as miserable as they are because that's what is "normal" to them. They have no idea what lies outside of the boundaries of their own meager existence so they will never understand you if you choose to live different from them. Indirectly they feel your disdain for their way of life and that's why their reactions can seem bitter or frustrated.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 21, 2011, 03:48:01 PM
I like how people use question's to tell you what to do.  Wonderful passive-aggression.  "Why don't you watch TV?"  "Why don't you have a credit card?"  "Why don't you want kids?" -on that last question people always force their own resentful views on life on me (before I ever have a chance to explain myself) "Oh, I can understand if you don't want to bring children into this terrible world!"  Oh yes, it has its terrors, but that is a very GOOD reason for bringing children here.  In the olden days one could just smash an impudent peasant in the face with a walking-cane, but now you'll get arrested for assault if you do that.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 01:03:22 AM
It's one the things society expects from you so you can be a slave like everyone else. The logic is like this: if you don't have a job then something is wrong with you, if you don't have a girlfriend/wife then something is wrong with you, if you don't drive a car then something is wrong with you, if you're not up to your ass in debts then something is wrong with you...
I'd argue that if you still live in civilisation and you don't have some of these things then there is probably something "wrong with you" and you're just taking up space. Unless you are part of the minute section of society that actually doesn't have ANY of these things and actually still manages not to take up space like the rest of the population.

ie. you're a flake to every dream and opinion that you've ever had, and you don't have the balls to go against the grain and get that shack in the middle of no where like Penti, our Finnish comrade.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 01:08:36 AM
It's one the things society expects from you so you can be a slave like everyone else. The logic is like this: if you don't have a job then something is wrong with you, if you don't have a girlfriend/wife then something is wrong with you, if you don't drive a car then something is wrong with you, if you're not up to your ass in debts then something is wrong with you...
I'd argue that if you still live in civilisation and you don't have some of these things then there is probably something "wrong with you" and you're just taking up space. Unless you are part of the minute section of society that actually doesn't have ANY of these things and actually still manages not to take up space like the rest of the population.

ie. you're a flake to every dream and opinion that you've ever had, and you don't have the balls to go against the grain and get that shack in the middle of no where like Penti, our Finnish comrade.

Don't you mean a flake to every dream and opinion everyone else has?

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 01:36:54 AM
No. If you're a) whinging about society b) dreaming of something better  and c) not doing anything about it then you're a flake to your own dreams. Not someone else's dreams.

I've seen plenty of people on here over the years say that they'd love to escape society, spend time arguing about how it'd work, how they'd do it and pleasure themselves over all the ins and outs of the venture. The people that did it obviously are not on here any more. The majority of them that talk about it never did it. They post here, after the many years, and still chasing their own tails.

How is this any different to not having a job, a girlfriend or a car?

edit: BTW, I realise that I have extrapolated on the original discussion. But these attitudes are linked. People judge a book by it's cover, because 95% of the time it's dead right.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 08:25:14 AM
Thinking that there's something wrong with an adult person who does not have job, girlfriend/wife, kids or car is completely stupid.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 09:38:18 AM
95% of the people who don't have girlfriends/cars/jobs/whatever are probably completely worthless.  5% of them simply have too many important things to get on with to have time to waste on frivolities.  I'm glad I'm not one of those people (yet).

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 09:53:35 AM
95% of the people who don't have girlfriends/cars/jobs/whatever are probably completely worthless.  5% of them simply have too many important things to get on with to have time to waste on frivolities.  I'm glad I'm not one of those people (yet).

So what about the 95% of people who do have girlfriends/cars/jobs/whatever? Are they ok in your book?

Surely you'd agree that 95% of people in general are worthless anyway and to pretend you're not worthless just because you have a hot girlfriend or get paid 12 bucks an hour working at starbucks is a self-deceiving way to deal with reality.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 12:51:33 PM
No. If you're a) whinging about society b) dreaming of something better  and c) not doing anything about it then you're a flake to your own dreams. Not someone else's dreams.

I've seen plenty of people on here over the years say that they'd love to escape society, spend time arguing about how it'd work, how they'd do it and pleasure themselves over all the ins and outs of the venture. The people that did it obviously are not on here any more. The majority of them that talk about it never did it. They post here, after the many years, and still chasing their own tails.

How is this any different to not having a job, a girlfriend or a car?

edit: BTW, I realise that I have extrapolated on the original discussion. But these attitudes are linked. People judge a book by it's cover, because 95% of the time it's dead right.

Well yes, but we weren't talking about those points, just about someone who does not care for a car, job and girlfriend. That doesn't immediately leave only the failed reshapers of society.

95% of the people who don't have girlfriends/cars/jobs/whatever are probably completely worthless.  5% of them simply have too many important things to get on with to have time to waste on frivolities.  I'm glad I'm not one of those people (yet).

95% of the people who do have girlfriends/cars/jobs/whatever are probably also completely worthless. Doesn't seem to imply a correlation then.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 01:13:22 PM
So what about the 95% of people who do have girlfriends/cars/jobs/whatever? Are they ok in your book?

95% of the people who do have girlfriends/cars/jobs/whatever are probably also completely worthless. Doesn't seem to imply a correlation then.

Why bother saying what is already common knowledge?  Everyone on this forum knows this by now.  The topic could be construed to suggest that not having any of these things is the hallmark of a good person, which isn't true in the slightest.

I'd actually put the ratio of "shitstains who have girlfriends/cars/jobs/etc.:people who have girlfriends/cars/jobs/etc." at about 99:1, rather than 95:1.  I think there's a higher proportion of good people in the "not have" sector than the "have" sector (ascetics, anyone?).

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 22, 2011, 03:49:18 PM
The topic could be construed to suggest that not having any of these things is the hallmark of a good person, which isn't true in the slightest.

Well it was fun while it lasted.

Seriously though. If one believes in true love then one should also believe that true love is very rare. Most relationships are not true love and instead based on a simple understanding. Once that understanding is gone the relationship gets stranded. This understanding works for companionship and breeding and it worked quite well in the days of arranged weddings and the like. But nowadays people watch movies and drama series and want what they see on the screen so they chase their feelings and it leads them nowhere. To be skeptical about love in general is healthy (as long as it's in healthy doses) But I would not expect a man who's in a happy relationship to publicly be skeptical about love, it would make him seem odd in the public eye and people would likely question his relationship instead of thinking about what he said.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 23, 2011, 07:38:44 PM
I think we need to distinguish between not having one out of the things - a job, significant other or car - or not having all three of them simultaneously. Also there are lots of variables, for example where I live there's excellent public transportation so I definitely don't need a car at all.

But I would not expect a man who's in a happy relationship to publicly be skeptical about love, it would make him seem odd in the public eye and people would likely question his relationship instead of thinking about what he said.

I wouldn't want to have a girlfriend who wouldn't understand my views about how everyone's heart strings are pitifully tangled up. Or if I just wanted a physical relationship I would be direct about it and insist not to take it personally whatever else I say.

Anyways, I definitely think that if guilt or shame is experienced to even a low degree then shrugging it off is only the second best option, ideally it shouldn't be experienced in the first place at all.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 23, 2011, 07:54:32 PM
Like fear, shame is an evolved survival assisting trait that has been with us all along. Guilt however was introduced with psychotherapy.

Re: Shrugging off guilt, shame and mockery
March 23, 2011, 08:37:50 PM
Like fear, shame is an evolved survival assisting trait that has been with us all along. Guilt however was introduced with psychotherapy.

Much like the difference between self-respect and self-esteem.