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I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals

I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 10, 2011, 10:45:05 PM
The tweebo metrosexual emo indie clones at Reddit were wondering what metal was, so I tried to translate big thoughts into some kind of pidgin that might register in even their media-saturated, callow, self-absorbed tiny little brains:

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Listening to a guitar cover of a classical song, I pointed out it's metal and he completely disagreed saying, "How can this be metal? It's just a guitar."

Metal is a spirit:

* Loves the epic, the eternal, and the powerful
* Relishes the aggressive, the warlike assertion of what is right
* Disdains the individual and by extension, pandering to other individuals (conformity)
* Likes the bigger picture, into which the individual fits
* Resembles Romantic art in theme (ancients, ruins, occult, violence, mystical warfare) and classical music in composition (through-composed, phrase-based, song structure fits content)
* Finds beauty in darkness, distortion and deep/"heavy"/philosophical thoughts
* Relishes natural selection, combat, violence and conflict; is not fond of the idea of individual equality, pacifism, peace, harmony, etc.

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I've been listening to metal for 7 years and I can't explain what makes something metal, I just know it when I hear it.

If it were easy, we'd be reading a lot more about it.

http://www.reddit.com/r/Metal/comments/gn6oq/what_makes_metal_well_metal/c1osv53

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 10, 2011, 10:54:13 PM
you simply cant, MAKe some one a metal head, its something that is either in you or not..you only show someone the way, but you cant walk them down that road, the last thing metal needs is another one of these retarded motherfuckers who "used to listen to metal" ....

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 10, 2011, 11:03:43 PM
I don't understand, this post doesn't make sense. (no pun intended)

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 11, 2011, 12:12:40 AM
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I can understand disdain of pandering to other individuals, but disdain of the individual?

Pop = "you and me".

Metal = "us" (or "nothing").

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 11, 2011, 07:03:30 AM
Definitely "nothing." Or, "everything." "Us" = Pantera & punk.

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 11, 2011, 09:32:50 AM
I meant "us" in the sense of "that which is beyond the individual", so "everything" would have been a better word to use :p

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 11, 2011, 09:57:48 PM
The tweebo metrosexual emo indie clones at Reddit were wondering what metal was, so I tried to translate big thoughts into some kind of pidgin that might register in even their media-saturated, callow, self-absorbed tiny little brains:

Quote
Quote
Listening to a guitar cover of a classical song, I pointed out it's metal and he completely disagreed saying, "How can this be metal? It's just a guitar."

Metal is a spirit:

* Loves the epic, the eternal, and the powerful
* Relishes the aggressive, the warlike assertion of what is right
* Disdains the individual and by extension, pandering to other individuals (conformity)
* Likes the bigger picture, into which the individual fits
* Resembles Romantic art in theme (ancients, ruins, occult, violence, mystical warfare) and classical music in composition (through-composed, phrase-based, song structure fits content)
* Finds beauty in darkness, distortion and deep/"heavy"/philosophical thoughts
* Relishes natural selection, combat, violence and conflict; is not fond of the idea of individual equality, pacifism, peace, harmony, etc.

Quote
I've been listening to metal for 7 years and I can't explain what makes something metal, I just know it when I hear it.

If it were easy, we'd be reading a lot more about it.

http://www.reddit.com/r/Metal/comments/gn6oq/what_makes_metal_well_metal/c1osv53



Why did you try to explain metal to them again? Hurling cow dunk at them would have been funnier AND more worth while. The majority of people i have met think metal is anything they cant listen to .

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 11, 2011, 11:14:32 PM
Why did you try to explain metal to them again? Hurling cow dunk at them would have been funnier AND more worth while. The majority of people i have met think metal is anything they cant listen to .

Was going to say the same thing.

I don't need validation of my taste by some Katy Perry-listening 19 year old.


Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 12, 2011, 02:28:10 PM
Where it isn't pretentious machismo hiding little liberal girls in men's bodies, we have an emasculated tweebo society. An antitode to this horseshit, like metal for example, needs to be distributed not kept hidden in pacifist Aspie fear of interaction and judgement. Confrontation can be fun!

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 12, 2011, 05:16:00 PM
Where it isn't pretentious machismo hiding little liberal girls in men's bodies, we have an emasculated tweebo society. An antitode to this horseshit, like metal for example, needs to be distributed not kept hidden in pacifist Aspie fear of interaction and judgement. Confrontation can be fun!

If that's the case it would be more worth while to just punch them in the face, it would also be confrontational. My experience has shown me it's like shoving a square peg in a round hole trying to explain metal to certain types. Some people however can understand and should definitely be preached to

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 13, 2011, 10:17:01 PM
I'm surprised we're all on such different wavelengths because this thread just doesn't make sense to me. I don't have time to try to decipher an original post where it's very unclear who said what, which quote is from which person, what the point of it is, especially if all that's being said is the same old thing you've said a thousand other times Conservationist. :/

Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 13, 2011, 11:18:54 PM
I'm surprised we're all on such different wavelengths because this thread just doesn't make sense to me. I don't have time to try to decipher an original post where it's very unclear who said what, which quote is from which person, what the point of it is, especially if all that's being said is the same old thing you've said a thousand other times Conservationist. :/

You gotta admit it stays funny though. Otherwise you probably would have left this forum already.

The tweebo metrosexual emo indie clones at Reddit were wondering what metal was, so I tried to translate big thoughts into some kind of pidgin that might register in even their media-saturated, callow, self-absorbed tiny little brains

What a beautiful rainbow of insults. <3


Re: I try to explain metal to emetrosexuals
April 20, 2011, 03:22:14 AM
My experience has shown me it's like shoving a square peg in a round hole trying to explain metal to certain types.

My experience has shown that smarter people "get" metal if properly introduced to it, but dumber people either hate it or embrace the Cannibal Corpse or Liturgy worldview.

Biology trumps our fond human notions yet again...

Reddit is a terrible place for fine-tuned truth. The people there are the kids who, in their dumbed-down educational system, were told they were geniuses even though they're not all that bright, and they've now found they lack any real skills of importance, so they're taking their revenge out on the world.

Internet forums are a great place to pretend to be the Messiah, especially if in real life you're a cubicle slave.