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Court refuses man's attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat

Personally I think disputes like this should be settled hand to hand, not with swords.

How about some "Ghurka knives or heavy hammers"?

P.S. He was busted "for failing to notify the DVLA that his Suzuki motorcycle was off the road."
What in the world is going on in the UK? You have to tell somebody that you're not driving?

The place needs to be set aside as the world's lunatic asylum with a NATO naval inderdiction zone encircling it. Just fly your human waste over the island anywhere and push them out. Instant improved life on Earth for everyone.

The ones that survive the fall can consume the corpses of the ones that don't, so it's Green as well!