Adventures in Canadian Liberalism.

[crow]

I admit, I have trouble with this.
And since you'va all wanted to be Canadian Liberals, at some point, here's what I know about it...

There is a script you maust follow. It goes something like this:
1: "How are you today?"
2: You are supposed to respond with: "Fine thanks. How about you?"
3: "Fine thanks."
Then you're both supposed to end the conversation and ignore each other.
But if you don't respond to being asked how you are today, the initiator will respond as if you had, anyway.
If you do respond, but with any details about how you actually are, the initiator will become increasingly paranoid, and may well end up calling the police.

In stores, which is where Canadians spend almost all their free time, there is also a script.
This often takes the form of adding non-sequiturs to the end of any question:
1: "Do you have a telephone number, with us, today?"
Which is a sort of base starting point, for other random non-sequiturs, such as:
2: "Do you have a telephone number, with us, today, at all?" Or:
3: "Do you have a telephone number, with us, today, at all, or...?"
Notice, in example 3:, the addition of what I like to refer to, as 'The Hanging "Or"'. The Hanging 'Or' denotes your unwillingness to assume anything, which is a good indicator of your non-judgmentalism, and thus complete harmlessness, which is the most important thing a Canadian Liberal wishes to convey.

Canadian Liberals also like to announce to complete strangers that they are "very Liberal", and "proudly Canadian", along with other sundry proclamations that bear no relation to anything, and could be just as easily left unsaid.

Oops my breakfast is ready. Gotta run...

[lafindumonde]

This touches on multiple subjects, including social acceptance and conditioned behavior.

[§Transcix]

Are you referring to Canadians who consider themselves liberal in general or Canadians who vote for the Liberal Party of Canada? It's a big difference, since liberalism in Canada is different than in the USA (which I assume you're aware of since you must know lots about Canadians in order to make generalizations about them).

Personally I vote NPD, which is more left than the Liberals. I prefer the NDP's military, economic and social policies and I believe they have a great leader now in Tom Mulcair. And I don't mind paying taxes.

I should add that I feel no sense of nationalism or patriotism whatsoever for Canada, Quebec or  Montreal (although I am fully appreciative of living where I do).

This touches on multiple subjects, including social acceptance and conditioned behavior.

Thank you so much for pointing this out.

[crow]

Mmmm. Scrambled eggs on toast with black coffee. Where was I?
Ah yes...

Everything you ever say, to anyone, for whatever reason, no matter the content, will be responded to with:
"Pardon me?" Or some variation of that. So you will be obliged to repeat yourself. Maybe several times.
If there was something contained in what you said, that might have been costrued as 'offensive' for some obscure reason, which is actually almost anything you might say, then the stock response will be:
"Excuse me?"

On the other hand, after several instances of being prompted to repeat yourself, you stare silently at your questioner, you will find yourself in imminent danger of being arrested.
And all of this is normal, eh? Don't forget to add 'eh' to anything you might say, either, or you may be taken for a damned Murkan, and loathed, out of hand, by the tolerant Canadian Liberals.

Yes, Canada is a paradise of Liberalism, presided over, incongruously, by a Conservative government. At least, for now.
Which makes it all the stranger: who on earth would have voted Conservative? Nobody, you find, will admit to doing so. Hmmm.
The last election form I was presented with, had four choices:
Conservative. (The least liberal of all the liberal choices).
Liberal. (The second least liberal of all the choices).
NPD. (The far left wind party).
Marxist Leninists. (Aliens from outer space).

So there you are. I only scratch the surface here, for the sake of humour and brevity.
But I have to advise against pursuing your secret desire to become a Canadian Liberal.
It has made a real mess of more than a few people.
It could easily make a real mess of YOU!

[§Transcix]

Everything you ever say, to anyone, for whatever reason, no matter the content, will be responded to with:
"Pardon me?" Or some variation of that. So you will be obliged to repeat yourself. Maybe several times.
If there was something contained in what you said, that might have been costrued as 'offensive' for some obscure reason, which is actually almost anything you might say, then the stock response will be:
"Excuse me?"

On the other hand, after several instances of being prompted to repeat yourself, you stare silently at your questioner, you will find yourself in imminent danger of being arrested.
And all of this is normal, eh? Don't forget to add 'eh' to anything you might say, either, or you may be taken for a damned Murkan, and loathed, out of hand, by the tolerant Canadian Liberals.

LMAO. Maybe they treat you funny because you're a bit freaky. For fuck's sake.

I can't even respond to this thread, it's ludicrous. It's biased so far towards your own unique personal experiences and then applied in general... and you say you're coming from a spiritually-aware vantage point. No. Your ego is almost as astounding as how oblivious you are to it.

I live in Canada but I won't claim to know Canada. I would probably hate to live in the prairie provinces, or the northern US states as they could be alternatively called. They might even treat me as some sort of freak if I showed up there.

[crow]

And are you not a freak?
I have extensively travelled and lived all over this immense land, and the parodies I describe exist in metropolitan areas, only, along with the west coast and especially the Gulf Islands.
The prairies, and Newfoundland are the places where the greatest manifestation of calmness and sanity are to be found.
So avoid those places, like the plague, if you prefer the alternative.
I currently inhabit the looniest place in Canada: The looniest of the loony Gulf Islands
I did like La Ville de Quebec, though, in spite of its uniquely francophone liberalism.

[§Transcix]

Well your claims are preposterous.

[crow]

How so? They are parodies, but even so, as accurate as I can make them.

[§Transcix]

Perhaps I've taken you too literally, if you say they were only parodies! It's just that I could easily imagine you getting yourself into those situations, haha.

I certainly don't know what it has to do with liberalism, however...

[crow]

The proof is in the pudding.
You, my friend, are what the thread is about: The Canadian Liberal.

[lafindumonde]

The "how are you" is well parodied in Idiocracy's "Welcome to Costco, I love you" scene.

Words that have been drained of all meaning.

[crow]

When everything is an act, where is reality to be found?
You have to make a career of rediscovering it.

[§Transcix]

The proof is in the pudding.
You, my friend, are what the thread is about: The Canadian Liberal.

I'd very much like to find more like-minded individuals near me, but alas I'm certainly not representative of the general population around here.

[Conservationist]

Then why do you stay?

[§Transcix]

I think it's one of the least worst of the possible options.