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My leave.

My leave.
December 19, 2012, 04:20:47 AM
It has been 12 years, off and on, that I have enjoyed this forum. I believe this forum to be the most powerful and thought provoking one today. It has shaped my knowledge of metal and the deeper meaning behind it. For what it is worth I always mention this site in my everyday conversations.

But the time of my departure is here. I had the ideal that I could meet other metal heads in a physical sense, instead of just writing on this forum. Maybe this whole time I was clueless as to the nature of my fellow  Hessians, and I have to understand that I am different from the normal, even here.

I came to this forum in 2000, and had the pleasure of some of the greatest conversations ever, and with those beings who are legendary. Antti Boman and Larry and Corey from Acerebus come to mind.

I feel that I have not done  my part here as I should. As stated about or to be clear, I like interacting with people and not sitting behind the screen. I thought by me making a video(s) that I could maybe inspire some more social interaction between us here. Again, I have done wrong and assumed that I could make an impact or bond friendships with fellow Hessians.

So thus I have decided to continue on the path  since coming to this forum and create my art, and spread it to various places. On a side note, I have had the honor of writing an official song for a underground cd compilation, so this has compelled me to excel my efforts. I am 32 and I know that someday I will not be  able to physically play so I am going forward with this effort.

While I do admit to liking some attention in what I create, this in no way means that I will solely create art for this point alone. No, I have learned well here, and will carry the spirit of this website in a real physical form.

I thank those who have showed the path, and for the life of me, I can not recall the various names I had as my user name(moving across country and computer crashes caused this dilemma) so many of you may not know who I am. But I raise a glass to you and celebrate your knowledge.

RIP GIOVANNI 2000-2012

Re: My leave.
December 19, 2012, 06:22:18 AM
Many people who come here are more shut in, partially due to how crappy the world is but also due to lacking social skills. I know when I first discovered this board (2005) I was incredibly socially awkward. That's changed (thanks in part to this forum) - but from your posts you didn't seem like someone who was. I can see how this may make you feel like an outsider.

I hope you don't leave for good. Your enthusiasm shows in your posts, and it's nice to see. Plus, your contributions were almost always of note. Do drop back in once in a while if you can! Ever onwards and upwards, sir - all the best to you.

Re: My leave.
December 19, 2012, 03:51:44 PM
This decision did not come lightly but I do not want to come back if things are on the right track because to me that would be a poor example.  No one should go away when times or tough.

What mostly is my personal issue is I can not relate to internet culture so thus I step away from it. I know there is those who are indeed shut out and it makes it hard to expand on your social skills.

Maybe the other reason is, as much as a leader I know I can be( I have an ability of getting people excited and motivated) I have to do it in terms I can relate.

With so many different schools of thoughts here, I knew not to be something I was not or try to fit it. I can tell you as I have always been able to, that I am emotional more then I would like. I do not look like a traditional Hessian and I am very social in my dealings. I am the only one in my small Southern Jersey town who can boldly walk the town with death metal/black metal t-shirts and have friends from very other walks of life.

I will think of this more and always offer my knowledge or energy in some way that I can do best. I think of this site as the number inspiration force in my foundation. I could not walk away for good when I truly think about it.

In any way, thanks Humanicide for your words. I will reflect more on this in the days to come.


And yes, on a more personal note, I have lost both grandparents earlier this year. You can imagine I had to reflect much on their deaths and even still I am reflecting on it at the end of the year...

Re: My leave.
December 19, 2012, 06:38:38 PM


I feel that I have not done  my part here as I should. As stated about or to be clear, I like interacting with people and not sitting behind the screen. I thought by me making a video(s) that I could maybe inspire some more social interaction between us here. Again, I have done wrong and assumed that I could make an impact or bond friendships with fellow Hessians.



I think it's really hard if not impossible to become friend with someone only through internet. For myself, I have to speak several time face to face with someone before establishing some sort of real connection. People here are scattered throughout the world so it would be difficult to come in contact with each other.
also, I think people here come from too much different background and have different path in life that some of us would not get along very well in real life especially if the encounter is planned. Maybe the expectations would be to high. Maybe I'm just pessimistic here.

I'm more favorable when the encounter happens fortuitously.


Re: My leave.
December 19, 2012, 06:57:47 PM
Thus far I have made one friend here and even lived with him for a time. I still keep in touch as our lives are radically different. I do want to inspire in some way if I can..

Re: My leave.
December 19, 2012, 07:21:30 PM
People here are scattered throughout the world so it would be difficult to come in contact with each other.
also, I think people here come from too much different background and have different path in life that some of us would not get along very well in real life especially if the encounter is planned.

Speak for yourself - I've made two valuable friends off this board. I'd gladly share a few beers with most anyone on this forum.

Re: My leave.
December 19, 2012, 11:08:04 PM
People here are scattered throughout the world so it would be difficult to come in contact with each other.
also, I think people here come from too much different background and have different path in life that some of us would not get along very well in real life especially if the encounter is planned.

Speak for yourself - I've made two valuable friends off this board. I'd gladly share a few beers with most anyone on this forum.

I am a HUGE craft beer lover and have had the honor of trying some great brews!

Re: My leave.
December 20, 2012, 01:33:54 AM
You'll be back!  In my opinion more people should have an attitude like yours. 

Re: My leave.
December 20, 2012, 03:32:03 AM
I'd gladly go out for coffee or beer with fellow Hessians in the Chicagoland area.

Re: My leave.
December 21, 2012, 11:21:55 PM
I can not stay away to be honest. I have tried but I feel this is the best forum and site ever, if I was to be expressive!

Re: My leave.
December 22, 2012, 02:44:33 AM
I can not stay away to be honest. I have tried but I feel this is the best forum and site ever, if I was to be expressive!

I agree with you there. I've never seen the point of the big, final farewell thing. Interacting here is about what you put into it. Still people might come and go for a time and we can only wish them well.

I first saw the site in early two thousand and had a couple of periods of two or three years with no computer access since then. The site was always very interesting and I think it has gotten better over time. In the earlier days, I used to meet up with another member and he gave me lots of cdrs of classic stuff I would not otherwise have had access to. It was invaluable.