I'm finding two opposing civility ideals. The original kind is the active/aggressive civility found in Victorian discipline, feudal system fidelity, familial honor and dueling, or national patriotism. The new civility however is equated with being a compromising pacifist, a docile conformist, and manifests in the compulsory non-confrontational bourgeois psychology of Oprah Winfrey consumer societies.
The former are the bearers of standards and maintainers of civilization. The latter are the withdrawn enablers of slow decline, creeping anarchy and eventual barbarism.