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How to not disappear up your own ass.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 04, 2013, 03:26:51 PM
Funny you should mention that. I was thinking how ugly I was, just this morning, based upon official photos for official documents. And that I was so ugly that it really didn't matter. I mean, if you're only a bit ugly, maybe you worry about it, but when its so extreme, there's nothing you can do, anyway. So why worry?
Why worry about anything?
It makes absolutely no difference to the eventual outcome, except that whatever it is you're worrying about will have depleted you, and rendered you less able to deal with whatever it was you were worried about.

I ask it because I think of it all the time.

Based upon official photos for documents? Not a mirror?

Anyway, easier said than done, to stop worrying... but if it's possible, let me know.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 04, 2013, 03:55:00 PM
Are you not a gorgeous young stud? That's a shame. Imagine the fun you could have, if you were. In reality, of course, if you were, it would worry you even more that, in spite of your great beauty, so many girls still shunned you. 
But I digress...

No, a mirror shows me what I prefer to see, more or less. Maybe mirrors worry about getting smashed, in a random fit of pique. Photos for driver's licenses, passports, mugshots, etc. are a whole other story:
These days, no hats, no glasses, and definitely no smile is allowed. No natural head-angle, either. You are required to endure a non-likeness of your face that will haunt you for years to come, or until you cut your throat, whichever comes sooner.

Are you really unaware that you can not-worry? Really?
No doubt you have been puzzled by my frequent references to the art of not-thinking. Most people are. Because they have never once been able to do it. But it is eminently possible to not-think. And once you are able to, then as a side-effect, you are also able to not-worry. No thought = no anxiety.

I just came back inside from a walk in my formerly beautiful and tidy woods, only to have found, out there, five trees blown down in a recent windstorm. Big trees. One was huge. I stopped when I saw this, looked impassively at it all, and said out loud:
"Wat a fokkin' may-ass".
Which roughly translates into:
"Oh dear. How dreadful".
It will take me weeks to clear up that disaster, move all the debris out to the fence line, convert the trunks into firewood, and haul it all home, uphill, in a wheelbarrow. It will be tiresome and arduous, but it is not now, and so why get upset?

Meditate, my ugly amigo. Breathe deeply, slowly, and long. Do it for ages, and finally, you will find you are no longer thinking. And while having a completely silent mind may worry you, at first, it will not worry you for long.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 04, 2013, 04:02:09 PM
I didn't say I was ugly. Anyway, thanks for the advice.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 04, 2013, 04:34:20 PM
Crow, what would be your advice to some fledgling death-metal musicians?

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 04, 2013, 04:43:02 PM
Get a fokkin' lief  :)

Sorry. My humour so often gets the better of me.
I have no advice for such people. I have no experience of being such a character.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 04, 2013, 04:50:49 PM

A bit of humour might just be what the subject of mortality needs!

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 04, 2013, 05:18:12 PM
Humour is just the thing for just about everything, with the one great drawback of there being so many people who have no idea of what it is, let alone what it means.

I once read a strange line, in a science fiction novel, by my favourite SF author, Larry Niven:
"Humour is often connected with an interrupted defense-mechanism".
I never did understand that line, but it doesn't sound very encouraging.

It only goes to show:
Nobody's perfect.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 05, 2013, 06:11:46 AM
I've had way too many women that it probably damaged my sex drive. I lost value in it. I tried the dating stuff, then the relationship stuff, then the hooking up with a different broad every weekend stuff, and nothing was gained (luckily no STDs either).

Perhaps there will be a worthwhile lady in the future. Perhaps not. What matters is being content with yourself.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 05, 2013, 07:09:06 AM
Some anthropologist suggested that laughing is a response to a surprise that turns out to be non-threatening. Say you were hunting in the jungle, and you hear something bounding through the brush, so you tense up and focus, prepared for danger. But it is only your friend, and you both see eachother, and you laugh, because you were scared just a moment ago. That laugh is a signal that "everything is alright, no danger, despite the surprise".

Laughter is still used today for the same reason; watch a couple of guys ragging on eachother, and most likely they are laughing, to let eachother know that no matter how harsh the verbal abus becomes, they are not intending it to be a threat, and don't really want a fistfight. That's a more complex application of laughter.

Now, humour, is still used for the same thing, but since there is not always the visible and adible signal of laughter, it is more subtle. People who are mostly unaware of how a human mind works is not going to understand humour (and that's why we have Family Guy). To apply humour over near-real-time text communications requires a much more advanced sense of what-is-expected by others as well as what-is-dangerous (or at least considered threatening) to others. Get a grasp on where those lines-in-the-sand lie, and you can say just about anything you want, because you know exactly how much humour to apply before going overboard into absurdity or being too serious and sounding threatening (which is difficult if your natural humour is ironic or deadpan).

So it does make sense that someone who is mentally threatened by a concept introduced by someone else (in text or passing conversation) may attempt to find humour where there was none intended; that is the defence mechanism that Nivens mentioned. For instance, some people think Slayer is laughably cheesy. They are threatened by the ideas in the music and therefore "choose" not to take it seriously by forcing a response to the humour they struggle to percieve. It is a way of convincing yourself that there is no tangible threat, because if there were, you couldn't laugh about it.

... Right?

Anyway, maybe that clears something up and maybe it doesn't, but thanks for *humouring* me.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 05, 2013, 10:29:43 AM
Well, that a worthy attempt at clarification. Thank you for your efforts.
Yet, being something of a dolt, it still didn't explain much of anything to me.
I often find that complexity becomes impenetrable, and says nothing I can understand.
Which, I suppose, is why I am such a fan of simplicity.
There are great advantages to being a simpleton, but this is something not generally appreciated, or valued, by many.

Personally, the urge to play, with just about anything, overrides any other consideration.
Which is a trait I first observed, and soon came to emulate, in crows.
Probably a crow would cackle its head off at my humour, much as I laugh myself silly at the zany antics of crows.

Re: How to not disappear up your own ass.
November 05, 2013, 02:38:32 PM
Well I have been around crows (though probably not as much as you have, but there are about 200 living on my block at the noment) and as you know, they don't make the same noise all the time. They talk to eachother and they talk about things, but they use signals instead of language. Their noises still mean something though, and they make especially distinct noise when they sense a threat, because their survival depends on protecting a group and being protected by a group. Otherwise they are just making noise at eachother, and you would know better than I what they're talking about.

Laughing is basically the same thing for humans; it tells us when we don't have to worry about immediate threats, which is great and definitely not something that I want to take for granted. It's very nice to know that no one around you thinks there is dangerous violence about to occur. It makes life much better generally.

Humour is just an extension of laughter, it is just more complicated because you can get good at tricking yourself into finding humour where none exists, or not seeing humour where it is intended. Because of this, 99% of internet drama is created. (Have you ever been to Facebook? It's fascinating, it's a real trip.) It's not the same with a laugh; it's hard to fake yourself into laughing. Still, it is mostly used to let people know that you are not threatening them even if you are introducing ideas that would seem dangerous without the context of humour.

As I type that, it occurs to me that it's all a really good argument to communicate with people face-to-face, in person. Our language is not ready for total text communication. Things like smileys (and all-caps) evolve and proliferate to emote and emphasize the text, but we will need more than that before text communication works as well as personal contact.