I'm in a weird (kind of funny) mood today, so here I go...
Once upon a time, in a forgotten corner of Scandinavia. A float of spaceships came from the skies above and stepped upon some vikings, crushing them to death. The rest of the Viking tribe, beholding in awe the infinite power of these funky little green men, began to worship them as gods. And these gods taught them useful things such as the proper way for females to give oral pleasure, and for males, they taught them the pleasure of anal sex. But one day, they announced their departure from Earth, although they promised they would come back again someday. Thousand years later, to a lost corner of Norway, a spaceship arrived. A couple of old funky green aliens came out .
Nearby, a couple of young kids looked at them in awe, and soon started to run around them asking intelligent questions such as: "D'ya' have some weed man?" or "Yo, shorty, got some ciggies?".
The funky little green men stared at them and simply replied with a fart that sounded like a growl from the demons deep down the abyssal depths of hell, and soon after, they departed towards their homeland in the skies above.
The kids, in order to forever mesmerize and celebrate this day, started imitating the fart in their instruments, (electric guitars) and with their voices.
And they named it Black Metal.
Until one day, a band called Dimmu Borgir, reached the peak of this art by composing the first black gay metal.
The "happy" End
Now you can critic me all you want, just bear in mind today is a "special" day.