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I need to talk.

I need to talk.
October 23, 2008, 04:36:34 PM
I hope some will read this with an open mind.

Over the last year, I have become increasingly aware of my developing misanthropy. I am 21 years old.

I'm an aircraft mechanic. I don't know how I got this job. Somehow, the military (I lament my decision to join the military) decided that, according to some meaningless number, they should stick me into this career field. This is odd, because I am not good at math and have never derived any great pleasure from it. It is also odd because I have mechanical skills that are lacking, to say the best of them.

 I am male. I have found this to be a great burden, because with my (involuntarily chosen) gender comes stereotypes - other men believe that, due to testosterone, and somehow due to the will of some supernatural entity, my interests should consist solely of sexual organs, alcohol, sports, competition and physical activity, automobiles, weapons, and reproduction. My coworkers look upon me in absolute disgust if I make mention of the fact that I find absolutely no entertainment nor amusement from any of the aforementioned things. Work is saturated with jokes concerning male sexual anatomy and homosexuality. When it is noticed that I am not amused at all, I am attacked for being 'weird.' I am apparently some sort of freak because I don't fit other people's perception of normal.

Alongside this I have become increasingly aware of the fact that humanity is driven by selfishness, and it frustrates me that it is a natural instinct. I know why it is - how could we survive if we did not look out for ourselves? - but it frustrates me nonetheless.

I am increasingly aware of the hamster wheel that is the materialism of the world. Most people seem to think that whoever dies with A.) the most money, B.) the most possessions, or C.) the most debt, wins at life. The amount of people that put money before anything else in their life baffles me.

I am also increasingly aware of my desire to purchase land in the country somewhere and live as far away from the filth of humanity as I can, while still being able to maintain contact for basic necessities.

I've read ANUS since around 2003. I've always perceived it to be a place of, if nothing else, higher intellect than normal. Prozak's musings are genius to me.

I just felt a need to rant on a forum that hopefully has a higher percentage of people likely to sympathize with at least some of my beliefs. I find it harder and harder to relate to anyone besides my wife, who shares my sentiments. I find it harder and harder to find any good in the world. I find it harder and harder to get along with anyone. In fact, I believe I have some form of social phobia.

Oh well.



Re: I need to talk.
October 23, 2008, 05:28:05 PM
Welcome to our world.

It is hard to find anything to say that has not been said before, but, if it helps you somehow, there are other people just like you around the world. Most people would recommend you to "just try to fit in" somehow. I say, do *not* try to fit in. On the contrary, try to develop those differences, make the distance *greater*. There is nothing positive about "fitting in" with a crowd that is clearly below you. Loneliness is the burden people like you and us sadly have to carry these days. ANUS (through promoting quality music) and Corrupt (through activism) are doing some productive work towards changing society, so feel free to give support.

If you haven't yet, read some Nietzsche, he gives good advice. And what you said about the new kind of "manliness" that is expected of us today, make sure to realize within yourself the true manly values of the past ages (honor, discipine, frugality, courage, chivalry, cleanliness). Make sure to surround yourself with quality, in the music you listen, the food you consume, the books you read, the overall way you spend your time, etc.. Look at the lifestyle section of Corrupt for more advice.

Some of the things I just said may seem trivial at first, but trust me, it is the way you live your daily life that determines what kind of man you are.

Good luck.

Re: I need to talk.
October 23, 2008, 11:05:45 PM
You could always do what I do and just be passive-aggressive. I obviously listen to black and death metal and I wouldn't consider myself a social outcast at all. I know it's too late for this, but it would have been a good idea to associate with others like yourself in high school so you don't feel so anti-social. The most you can do at this point is to influence people around you. Don't be so anti-social. Make friends and make apparent the alternative to have a better lifestyle.

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 04:18:16 AM
i've often been tempted to divorce myself from the rest of my species as well. but really, it's just another form of escapism - apart from the threat of overdose, how is doing that any different from being a pothead? i once heard, or read, or was told that 'the easy thing to do is rarely the right thing to do.' pithy advice, but i've found useful for my own personal experience of being alive. it's easy to cut tthe world off. it's a lot harder to try to effect a change in the world around you

as for actually dealing with the morons who comprise the vast majority of humanity... well, i don't know. i've found it quite helpful to think of them as pets more than anything
HE WHO REAPS STORMS, SOWS WINDS. HE WHO SOWS WINDS, REAPS STORMS.

"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart."
-Ecclesiastes 7:2

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 05:07:24 AM
Alongside this I have become increasingly aware of the fact that humanity is driven by selfishness, and it frustrates me that it is a natural instinct. I know why it is - how could we survive if we did not look out for ourselves? - but it frustrates me nonetheless.

I am also increasingly aware of my desire to purchase land in the country somewhere and live as far away from the filth of humanity as I can, while still being able to maintain contact for basic necessities.

It's kind of like being Cassandra:

Quote
Cassandra, or Alexandra, was a daughter of Hecuba and King Priam, the rulers of Troy during the Trojan War according to Homer's Iliad. Cassandra was a beautiful young woman, blessed with the gift of prophecy by Apollo, who was infatuated with her. Unfortunately, she shunned Apollo at the last minute and he added a twist to her gift; Cassandra was doomed to tell the truth, but never to be believed.

http://www.arthistory.sbc.edu/imageswomen/papers/fittoncassandra/intro.html

You can see how our world is going to end up on the path it has taken.

You can see how that path is also empty, even for the dumb "pets" (HAHAHAHA) as someone said.

And basically, you want to get the hell away...

My advice is not to. My advice is to return to the fray and conquer. Get ahead in whatever area you want to specialize in. Set up a healthy wife, family, community life, etc.

Kick ass and never back down about what you believe.
ASBO

“Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentlemen, a worthless shred of human debris.” - Rush Limbaugh

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 12:04:20 PM
as for actually dealing with the morons who comprise the vast majority of humanity... well, i don't know. i've found it quite helpful to think of them as pets more than anything
As someone who owns a pet, I find this very offensive to my loveable cat.

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 12:18:13 PM
:p not all pets are bad - and not all are good. i used to have a monkey who'd regularly shit on people after she got on their shoulder. i've yet to smell a more offensive, pungent stench
HE WHO REAPS STORMS, SOWS WINDS. HE WHO SOWS WINDS, REAPS STORMS.

"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart."
-Ecclesiastes 7:2

NHA

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 12:56:46 PM
Its important not to self-stigmatize. Depressed people seem to have the tendency to feel transparent; like everyone in the room can somehow see into them and know that they are depressed.

Usually this is not the case, and feeling like a leper is just going to slowly eat away at you.

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 01:34:08 PM
I hope some will read this with an open mind.

Over the last year, I have become increasingly aware of my developing misanthropy. I am 21 years old.

I'm an aircraft mechanic. I don't know how I got this job. Somehow, the military (I lament my decision to join the military) decided that, according to some meaningless number, they should stick me into this career field. This is odd, because I am not good at math and have never derived any great pleasure from it. It is also odd because I have mechanical skills that are lacking, to say the best of them.

 I am male. I have found this to be a great burden, because with my (involuntarily chosen) gender comes stereotypes - other men believe that, due to testosterone, and somehow due to the will of some supernatural entity, my interests should consist solely of sexual organs, alcohol, sports, competition and physical activity, automobiles, weapons, and reproduction. My coworkers look upon me in absolute disgust if I make mention of the fact that I find absolutely no entertainment nor amusement from any of the aforementioned things. Work is saturated with jokes concerning male sexual anatomy and homosexuality. When it is noticed that I am not amused at all, I am attacked for being 'weird.' I am apparently some sort of freak because I don't fit other people's perception of normal.

Alongside this I have become increasingly aware of the fact that humanity is driven by selfishness, and it frustrates me that it is a natural instinct. I know why it is - how could we survive if we did not look out for ourselves? - but it frustrates me nonetheless.

I am increasingly aware of the hamster wheel that is the materialism of the world. Most people seem to think that whoever dies with A.) the most money, B.) the most possessions, or C.) the most debt, wins at life. The amount of people that put money before anything else in their life baffles me.

I am also increasingly aware of my desire to purchase land in the country somewhere and live as far away from the filth of humanity as I can, while still being able to maintain contact for basic necessities.

I've read ANUS since around 2003. I've always perceived it to be a place of, if nothing else, higher intellect than normal. Prozak's musings are genius to me.

I just felt a need to rant on a forum that hopefully has a higher percentage of people likely to sympathize with at least some of my beliefs. I find it harder and harder to relate to anyone besides my wife, who shares my sentiments. I find it harder and harder to find any good in the world. I find it harder and harder to get along with anyone. In fact, I believe I have some form of social phobia.

Oh well.



I fear that my situation in a few years will not be too dissimilar from yours.

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 02:26:06 PM
I feel pretty much the same sometimes. It's hard not to be depressed when spending most of your time around stupid people and working an unsatisfying job. It makes sense to want to flee to the wilderness but that would only be a temporary solution and you wouldn't truly escape the stupidity of the system. Usually what keeps me going is quality music,reading,learning,practicing guitar,eating right and staying fit. While it would be ideal to move out of the suburbs it's not a realistic prospect for me at this moment. Thus, I have to keep my mind active and even if I am having an extremely depressing day..at least I am acquiring knowledge,getting better at guitar,pondering new ideas. When I am able to get out I will aim for a small town up north but only in order to be closer to nature. I don't expect to escape things that I detest..but perhaps there will be somewhat of a balance.

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 02:50:01 PM
The problem with trying to live with others is that you slowly die inside. You essentially have to ignore everything you believe in order to just make it through the day. I found containing my anger the hardest part. People disrespect you and you have to take it because even hitting them once almost guarantees jail time in the U.S. because the other guy will probably just tell the cops on you. The worst part that they know you're not going to hit them and they like pushing you because they know you get very angry. Even my mother enjoys pushing me to the brink of having to kick her ass. Having to suppress all this has been very detrimental for me and I feel like I'm on the brink of insanity.

Isolation is a good option if you can't find some sort of release. I really don't understand why we are not trying to form a community somewhere. This will be really helpful to people struggling to maintain Hessian ideals or just struggling to maintain sanity. All it really takes is deciding to move to one neighborhood. It will also help us be more cohesive and organized as a group. Right now we are like the neo-nazis. They are a disorganized group of extremely dedicated people. Even though they occasionally have demonstrations, they have no central leadership and thus get nothing done. We are worse because we don't even have small groups like they do, just isolated individuals that are trying to get even more isolated. In order to make any sort of impact we need to get organized, and although this site is a start, it doesn't come close to what we need. The meetings the site has arranged are a step forward, but with no pre-agreed upon goals to get done in those meetings, they accomplish nothing.

Also, I don't understand why Hessians are always complaining of unsatisfying jobs. We are the top tier and succeeding shouldn't be a problem. All you need to do is tolerate a bit of liberal nonsense in college and get the job you want. Research or teaching are two obvious ones that minimize interactions with retards. You just have to play the game a bit and do a bit of research into good jobs.

Re: I need to talk.
October 24, 2008, 05:04:10 PM
The problem with trying to live with others is that you slowly die inside. You essentially have to ignore everything you believe in order to just make it through the day.

Does it?

I don't think it does.

You have to ignore what they believe, if you think about it from the converse.

And you act for what you believe.

These people will only figure it out AFTER you have achieved something -- you or some political group -- they follow, not lead.

But they talk like leaders.

So ignore the bloviation and do what is right.

It's about independent and collective action by those with a clue, not paying attention to the useless.

If you must interact with them, leave them with questions. Be a universal cynic. "Well, I'm not a Republican or Democrat, but I wonder how we've been fighting over these same issues for two centuries and we still have NO SOLUTIONS LOL. I guess I'm just a cynic because my prostate hurts from excessive self-pleasuring."
ASBO

“Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentlemen, a worthless shred of human debris.” - Rush Limbaugh

Re: I need to talk.
October 26, 2008, 02:58:35 AM
The problem with trying to live with others is that you slowly die inside. You essentially have to ignore everything you believe in order to just make it through the day.

Does it?

I don't think it does.

You have to ignore what they believe, if you think about it from the converse.

And you act for what you believe.

These people will only figure it out AFTER you have achieved something -- you or some political group -- they follow, not lead.

But they talk like leaders.

So ignore the bloviation and do what is right.

It's about independent and collective action by those with a clue, not paying attention to the useless.

If you must interact with them, leave them with questions. Be a universal cynic. "Well, I'm not a Republican or Democrat, but I wonder how we've been fighting over these same issues for two centuries and we still have NO SOLUTIONS LOL. I guess I'm just a cynic because my prostate hurts from excessive self-pleasuring."

I agree with this completely. There is no reason to let the riff-raff bring you down. Maintaining your cheerfulness in the face of all the stupidity, fecklessness and greater idocy around you isn't easy - but it will strengthen you if you learn to see beyond it.  We here wish to be conquerors not be brought low by the herd. Read - truly read your Nietzsche...it will bring you wisdom in this regard. 

Re: I need to talk.
October 26, 2008, 05:19:08 AM
\
I agree with this completely. There is no reason to let the riff-raff bring you down. Maintaining your cheerfulness in the face of all the stupidity, fecklessness and greater idocy around you isn't easy - but it will strengthen you if you learn to see beyond it.  We here wish to be conquerors not be brought low by the herd. Read - truly read your Nietzsche...it will bring you wisdom in this regard. 


Was Nietzsche ever cheerful? He rambles on about the importance of being joyful all the time, yet it's all a bit hard to swallow when his life was in near-ruins and he doesn't have more than emotional arguments for it. It's not too far of a stretch to say that the original post in this thread could have been written by Nietzsche himself. It's strange - whenever I am truly cheerful I can't stomach Nietzsche. It's only when I let the riff-raff bring me down that I can see eye-to-eye with him.

Re: I need to talk.
October 26, 2008, 11:25:13 AM
Nietzsche was a grumbler, a kind-hearted old man who couldn't figure out why people were so incompetent until he looked deeply into their fears. And even then, his impulse was to write for those who weren't soulless instead of lamenting the soulless alone and unproductive (like most metalheads lol!).

Like many of the senex caprus personality type, he had wisdom and cynicism, and a love that he did not dare express openly because it would have been interpreted christ-style as affirmation of the failed alongside the good. View him as a grumbler. He says nasty things, and he's right, but the only reason he bothers is a belief that we CAN do better.
ASBO

“Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentlemen, a worthless shred of human debris.” - Rush Limbaugh