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Rules for Being a Modern Person

Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 01, 2008, 07:44:35 PM
Rules for Being a Modern Person

1. Something else is always to blame. Good targets: gods, systems of government, other demographics that oppress you.

2. It's all about you.

3. You must have something to contribute on every topic, and it must be ironic, unusual or a unique combination or you're not really that interesting.

4. Anything that requires actual commitment is bad and people who do it are tools.

5. The best state of the world is you in command of your kingdom, errr apartment or house, entertaining yourself with no obligations.

6. If something might challenge you, and you might end up looking stupid if you fail at it, make fun of it.

7. If something brings pleasure, that is a brilliant argument for it regardless of the consequences.

8. Anything that requires more than two steps should be either ignored, or you can hire Mexicans to do it.

9. If things don't go your way, throw a tantrum.

10. If everyone does the above, everything will become chaotic and moribund, and then you'll have zero accountability. Be an anarchist, support chaos, etc.

ASBO

“Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentlemen, a worthless shred of human debris.” - Rush Limbaugh

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 01, 2008, 08:55:58 PM
11. TV is a legitimate way to spend 4 hours of every evening. People who don't watch TV are ignorant and close minded.

12. If you ever need to show that you've experienced "new ideas" without actually explaining them, go to a foreign country and then tell others how impartial you are because of it.

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 03:57:10 AM
13.  Read the newspaper everyday so that you can keep up on current events, know what's going on in the world, and be "informed."

14.  Read non-fiction.  Fiction is "not real," and thus has no basis or impact in "reality."

15.  Use your kids, job, and spouse for justification at your convenience.

16.  Use words and phrases like:  "taxes," "gas prices," "the economy," and "credit score" a lot.

17.  Intellectual discussion should only revolve around politics or economics.

18.  If intellectual discussion veers away from politics or economics use the prefix "post-" a lot.
I live in my own place
Have never copied nobody even half
And at any Master who lacks the grace
To laugh at himself, I laugh!

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 04:36:21 AM
19. Listen to jazz, blues, reggae, and Living Colour in an attempt to seem OPEN-MINDED.

20. Vote for a black man to be president because it's in vogue.

21. Eat fried chicken.

23. Have sex out of wedlock (with a black woman)

24. Have sex

25.  Listen to a reactionary music form made by idiots glorifying infantile values like violence and promiscuity (hiphop of course)


Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 04:59:19 AM
seems that these all fall into one of the following general attitudes:

Ignore reality - accept that everything operates at face value alone, don't consider that there are things beyond you.

Distract yourself - place comfort before value, aim for a goal and shorten the process towards it as much as possible.

instead of DOING something, "be" someone - place ego before harmony.

the possible permutations of these are essentially infinite, but strip away the layers of situation and personality in each case and those seem to be the cores with which you're left. and it's not hard to see how each one reinforces the next in a neverending, self-invigorating cycle
HE WHO REAPS STORMS, SOWS WINDS. HE WHO SOWS WINDS, REAPS STORMS.

"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart."
-Ecclesiastes 7:2

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 05:06:32 AM
24. Have sex

People have been doing it since the dawn of time, so strike this.

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 06:50:35 AM
Listening to "protest" music and wearing Che Guevara shirts made in China bought from the local mall.
Da stopper rittet
Som varte i en livstid
For herren går (inn i slottet fra drømmen)

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 09:45:27 AM
ok, now you guys are getting silly with overly specific things.

i would add to ASBO's list:

find it hard to believe that anyone else has inherent abilities greater than yours, and if it's blatantly obvious they do, explain it away by saying that the person must be deficient in areas you're not.

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 10:31:07 AM
24. Have sex

People have been doing it since the dawn of time, so strike this.

They didn't do it as a rule. Nowadays it's mandatory to lose your virginity as soon as possible, and ramp up your number of sexual conquests. Chastity and non-sexual relationships are no longer in vogue.

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 11:29:33 AM
-Post on underground nihilist trve metal message boards while being hypocritically guilty of most of these things
-Blame it on 'modern people' (#1)
-Make a list of stuff you don't like, and numerate it as to make it seem comprehensive (#3)
-Pretend #23 is because you never wanted to in the first place.  #24 too, even!
-Accuse others of #25 not realizing there is a bit of violence and promiscuity in metal music especially VIOLENCE in DEATH METAL.
Formerly known as "Metalist"

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 03:29:28 PM
-Post on underground nihilist trve metal message boards while being hypocritically guilty of most of these things
-Blame it on 'modern people' (#1)
-Make a list of stuff you don't like, and numerate it as to make it seem comprehensive (#3)
-Pretend #23 is because you never wanted to in the first place.  #24 too, even!
-Accuse others of #25 not realizing there is a bit of violence and promiscuity in metal music especially VIOLENCE in DEATH METAL.

- If you find somebody who's not as ironic and cool as you are, make sure you make fun of them for having standards, not noticing that they pointed out you'd do exactly that.
ASBO

“Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentlemen, a worthless shred of human debris.” - Rush Limbaugh

Cigno

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 09:39:44 PM
Since dawn of  this forum, it has been a place where you sling shit with a little more ironic commentary than the target's one.
However, one as a smart reader, must evaluate wich one of these comments are useful to the cause, and wich one is used to boost online-ego within the Cadre.

For those who haven't realized it: writte for the guests!

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 02, 2008, 10:41:09 PM
I think this is another rule for being a modern person.

Art and entertainment are the same thing.

Very true. I would add
-It's acceptable for anyone to make "art" and for all "art" to be embraced as equal(in the sense that's it's all relevant because it's expression).

So everyone can be a photographer,everyone can make music on a software program and upload it to myspace,everyone can write meaningless babble lyrics and call themselves an artist.
Artists who hone their skills and create more imaginative or meaningful works  are simply thought of as better artists.

Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 03, 2008, 02:34:44 AM
-Post on underground nihilist trve metal message boards while being hypocritically guilty of most of these things
-Blame it on 'modern people' (#1)
-Make a list of stuff you don't like, and numerate it as to make it seem comprehensive (#3)
-Pretend #23 is because you never wanted to in the first place.  #24 too, even!
-Accuse others of #25 not realizing there is a bit of violence and promiscuity in metal music especially VIOLENCE in DEATH METAL.

I'm guessing your trying to deride people here for hiding behind a fake persona and by implication that all posters here live behind a fake persona; however, I agree with your points where they apply to people that are living contradictory lives. Such people scorn others for bad ideals but live by those same bad ideals themself: the blame falls upon their peers/parents/the government (undoubtedly modern people). They might relieve some guilt by posting on anus.com/metal/hall while listening to sub-standard gore grind bands and getting on with their lives. I know, with great certainty, that not everyone on this forum is a living/ walking contradiction: those people don't conform to the above list.

I'll give you bonus points for implicity enumerating your list to make it seem comprehensive (#3).


Re: Rules for Being a Modern Person
November 03, 2008, 06:49:52 AM
People who pursue goals are gay.