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Satire, lol

Satire, lol
November 02, 2008, 07:53:11 PM
Something I emailed to Corrupt but I don't think will be going up:

Members of Parliament shocked as Mark and Hayley are voted out

Politicians up and down the country have today expressed their disgust as Strictly Come Dancing hopefuls Mark and Hayley were voted out in a unanimous end of show shocker.

Dancing in the lively style of Paso Doble, Mark and Hayley were dismayed as each of the three judges delivered their damning verdict on the couple. They are the sixth couple to become eliminated on the BBC's latest popular dancing series, in which 'celebrity' contestants, twinned with a professional dancing partner, seek to outdo each other on the dance floor to attain the end of series prize.

However many thought the decision to boot the couple from the show was a mistake and that the judges made a grave error of judgment. On hearing the judgment, the TV crowd burst immediately into sustained, heavy jeering.

The latest blunder by the BBC comes at an already controversial time as media personalities Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross have been castigated by MPs for making lewd prank calls over the radio.

But now both sides of Parliament have reneged on former differences in order to show solidarity in the face of what one MP has called the "obvious rigging" of the result.

On Wednesday, as MP's gathered in the House of Commons for the weekly Prime Minister's Question Time, leader of the 'opposition' David Cameron quizzed Gordon Brown over his supposed 'dithering' around the Strictly Come Dancing issue: "will the Prime Minister finally wake up, and realise he is dodging the questions that have been asked by so many television viewers throughout the nation after watching that dreadful result last Sunday?".

In response Gordon Brown promised that new, taxpayer funded independent enquiries had already been set up to investigate the show. Brown said: "it is time we end this judge dictatorship", adding: "the fascist judges must be removed from the show" and: "a democratic phone-in vote is the answer to all problems of legitimacy".

Ignoring the calls to be sacked, the three professional judges held a press meeting today to clear their position. One judge, defending their actions, said: "Quite clearly, Mark and Hayley did not dance flawlessly. We warned the producers of this before the show, but they were much better looking than the actual winners. This may have caused many people without a good knowledge of dance to disagree with our decision".

Ignoring calls from minor parties to deal with the financial crisis, dwindling fossil fuels, threat-making foreign powers, Britain's decaying culture and fading genetic fingerprint amongst other boring issues, MPs unanimously voted yesterday to pass emergency legislation which will revamp the show in time for the next series. Such reforms are hoped not only to introduce a democratic mandate, but to make it much more entertaining and accessible by introducing a simpler vocabulary, shorter skirts, more swearing and new urban dances to attract ethnic minorities.