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Stop pneumonia-related-complications from killing metal's heroes

Pneumonia-related-complications are killing metal's "heroes":

* Jesse Pintado
* Chuck Schuldiner
* Adrian Bromley
* Freddie Mercury

Stop pneumonia-related-complications now! Donate to Human Immunodeficiency Pneumonia Syndrome Terminality Eradication Resource (H.I.P.S.T.E.R.) today!

FAQ

Q: What are pneumonia related complications?

A: It's a very generic diagnosis put down when the doctor doesn't know what killed you, can't say, or you died from pneumonia related complications. It's not AIDS. Honest.

Q: Why are pneumonia related complications killing people in metal?

A: We firmly believe every person is a blank slate and can be whatever they want to be. Therefore, it's unscientific and pseudo-intellectual to say that many congenital fuckups are drawn to metal so they can be big with their hipster friends for a decade before their defective hearts/minds/souls give out.

Q: Why do people not want to talk about pneumonia related complications?

A: In the early days of the AIDS epidemic, doctors unwittingy gave pneumonia related complications a bad name by putting it down as the cause of death on 23,618,274 death certificates. With the knowledge of two decades, we now know that pneumonia related complications is not AIDS, except when it is what actually causes death in an immunocompromised AIDS patient (98.6% of all cases). Knowing that, anyone but pseudo-intellectuals can see that pneumonia related complications is not shorthand for AIDS.

Q: Why do doctors refuse to answer questions about pneumonia related complications?

A: Sometimes it's a catch all diagnosis. You didn't want to know your daughter was airing her pussy with john cock for $20 an hour to feed her meth habit, did you? Or that your son toured the world in his metal band so he could get railed in bathhouses by sweaty bears? Exactly. Sometimes doctors tell gentle lies on death certificates. It sounds lot better than "drank himself to death in the Netherlands","died of an unhygenic punctured rectum", or "two-faced whore died craving meth." But as we like to say, that's sometimes, not all the time.
ASBO

“Kurt Cobain was, ladies and gentlemen, a worthless shred of human debris.” - Rush Limbaugh

I think Freddie Mercury is cool. Never heard anyone consider him a metal hero?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyVXFpD4k_s&feature=related