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Dimmu Borgir to release 3 terrible new albums

Dimmu Borgir to release 3 terrible new albums
January 18, 2009, 07:20:07 AM
Oslo- Atrocious Norwegian band Dimmu Borgir has announced that they plan to release at least 3 awful new recordings by the end of the next fiscal year.

"We have a contract to fulfill, and we could use the money anyway," said Shagrath, the band's vapid frontman , "so we decided that we could write enough sophomoric and stupid songs to fill out three completely abysmal LPs right away."

Dimmu Borgir has become an increasingly popular crap band in recent years with their inane mix of poorly-executed keyboards and remedial heavy metal guitar riffs. Ever since the sub-par act signed to the pedestrian German label Nuclear Blast in 1997, their shitty star has been on the rise.

"We appreciate the continued support of our moronic fans, and we're looking forward to unloading this total garbage on them," the untalented vocalist continued, "it's going to suck worse than ever before!"

The 3 unbearable albums in question are tentatively titled, "Darkness Inviolate Euphoria", "Internecine Darkness Redolent", and "Supremacy Incessant Darkness"