Evolving as a cultural movement that has grown uncontrollably beyond simply concerts and Friday night headbanger parties, Hessians are just another ugly, annoying, loud, upsetting and obnoxious addition to our wonderfully diverse multicultural society. Everyone wants more deeply intermingled diversity right? Business wants Hessians as regular customers too right? Jesus loves Hessians and would like more of them in and around His churches too doesn't He? No? Well, that's a violation of our civil rights, a federal crime with compensatory lawsuit on the way. In addition we would like to see full credit humanities courses in Hessian studies.