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The power of refusal

The power of refusal
September 13, 2009, 02:48:27 PM
Quote
Yes suggests pleasure. It wants something. Salesmen train themselves to use yes at the beginning of a sentence, no matter what, which is why when you say it enough, the word yes starts to feel like a con.

But no is cold and heavy. It puts an end to things. In that way, it is a word of control. Its very use suggests a speaker who actually knows something, who won't bend, who won't give in to what you want simply because you want it. No says the case has not been made.

...

Waiters. Shuttle-bus drivers. Flight attendants. I began to see how many meaningless questions came my way through the service industry. By asking questions -- Did I want a take-home box? Fresh ground pepper? Could they take that bag for me? -- they were saliently asserting that the conventions of their typical service were somehow favors they might grant me. The problem wasn't my answer, it was their questions. In their own way, these endless questions were an attempt to dominate the transaction, to make it be about them and not me.

My nos gave me control. No. No. No.

...

Problem is, of course, it feels rude to say no. I didn't like saying no to my girlfriend, because she has at least some right to the inside of my mind. Saying no just locked her out. First time I did it, she was asking about a movie to rent, and she looked a little hurt. The second time, when we were discussing her daughter's band concert, she squinted at me. The third time we were driving by a restaurant we both like from time to time, and I said no when she asked if I wanted to grab a bite there.

At times like this, with people I love, the no just felt empty and a little incomplete. At the stoplight, she leaned over and spoke: "I think I want to be left out of this little experiment."

But I wanted her in. I didn't see how it could work without her.

"No," I said.

And she shook her head and said nothing. She grabbed me, put her hands to my cheeks, and pressed in. "No," she said. She wasn't repeating after me. She was saying what she would not bear. She was using the clearest word of all to tell me what she didn't want. This was her form of clarity. And it was clear. As I'd learned, that kind of thing can change minds.

http://www.esquire.com/features/influence/say-no-0508?click=WHITE_NIGGERS

Inspiring article.

Politeness is yes; we're told to say yes to life; yet part of that saying yes to life is saying no to crap that ruins life.

Saying no to TV, drugs, liberalism, etc. is as important as saying yes to ice cream and jihad.

Re: The power of refusal
September 13, 2009, 03:41:46 PM
*imagines pasty-faced aspies saying "no" with a cold, psychotic look in their analytical eyes"

I learned about this as a child:

Mr Mean says no: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAWI3wIoX4Y

Wizard: Could I possibly please have a glass of water, if it's not too much to ask?

Mr Mean: No

Mr Mean was an aspie nihilist hessian (asshole, in the vernacular).

yes he was

and, yes, I met him once

yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

and there was None so English.

but somewhere there is also Mr. Median, who is a crowdist, and Mr. Mode, who is a phenomenological ontologist.



Re: The power of refusal
September 13, 2009, 03:52:50 PM
On watching the Mr Mean video again, I realise that at 2:45 the wizard discovered post-Suffocation death metal vocals.

Re: The power of refusal
September 17, 2009, 04:00:48 PM
Mr Mean was an aspie nihilist hessian (asshole, in the vernacular).

The ideal future is the joyful realist who accepts truth, is compassionate but at the same time detached, and does what is necessary for the portion of life to which he or she lays claim.

Re: The power of refusal
September 19, 2009, 07:02:11 AM
In regards to that video, both Mr. Mean and the wizard were two aspects of teh ideal aspie nerd.

The wizard used deceptive, but necessary methods to teach the man a lesson. AKA A TROLL.

I felt that both Mr. Mean and the wizard were assholes though.

Re: The power of refusal
September 19, 2009, 03:13:21 PM
In regards to that video, both Mr. Mean and the wizard were two aspects of teh ideal aspie nerd.

The wizard used deceptive, but necessary methods to teach the man a lesson. AKA A TROLL.

I felt that both Mr. Mean and the wizard were assholes though.

Yeth, a good point. I did not consider the syncretic potential of dualistic aspiedom in this video.