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Defeat.

Defeat.
June 17, 2013, 02:04:41 AM
Ok, so I have a friend and we play video games all the time the thing is my friend can never ever just admit defeat and bow out gracefully. Any time I win he throws a fit and blames his defeat on something or changes the rules we had agreed upon at the beginning of the game. It's not just him I have noticed that people can't just accept that they have failed or are wrong, my mother being another prime example. You can't tell her she is wrong if you do she will just proceed to talk in circles until you forget what the debate was about. No one likes to lose but sometimes you have to just call a pig a pig. I'm curious to see how other's feel on such things.

Re: Defeat.
June 17, 2013, 05:38:22 AM
I'm much the opposite. I like competitive video games; DotA and CS:GO at the present, and I beat myself up quite a bit if I lose. Even if my team wins, I'll berate myself for sub-par performance. My friends always tell me to lighten up when we play. I'd say your friend is quite similar to me, really, but while I want myself to be an amazing player, he seems to already think he is one.
Just a walking corpse.

Re: Defeat.
June 17, 2013, 09:02:13 PM
You should already consider yourself a great player but I can very much understand were you are coming from. It may sound out but it is sometimes good to be insatiable.

Re: Defeat.
June 18, 2013, 09:28:36 PM
I'm much the opposite. I like competitive video games; DotA and CS:GO at the present, and I beat myself up quite a bit if I lose. Even if my team wins, I'll berate myself for sub-par performance. My friends always tell me to lighten up when we play. I'd say your friend is quite similar to me, really, but while I want myself to be an amazing player, he seems to already think he is one.

You should shed this womanly response to competition (however simulated) and embrace your masculinity. Only women say `tee-hee, I`m not that good LOL` while secretly reveling in praise and attention. Men range from the stoic to the braggart; do not be afraid of pride in your accomplishments. The existence of something like the Duning-Kreuger effect shouldnt blunt our humanity, the only lesson one should take from it is caution. Listen to your friends.

Fucking videogames, soma.

NHA

Re: Defeat.
June 18, 2013, 11:56:38 PM
Quote
You should shed this womanly response to competition (however simulated) and embrace your masculinity. Only women say `tee-hee, I`m not that good LOL` while secretly reveling in praise and attention


Attention whore doesn't really seem to fit.

If anything, i see his attitude as being more along the lines of fragile high self-esteem - something commonly found in overachievers. The problem these type of people have is that they tie their sense of self-worth and identity to their success - something that is ultimately transient. So when they inevitably fail, or someone questions their status, their entire sense of self begins to implode.

Seems to be common in "Judging" personality types too. Judgement is fine, but it's important to accept something for what it is after passing judgement on it. This prevents the exercise from turning into a form of ego masturbation, that eventually goes full circle, and comes back to bite you in the ass.

Re: Defeat.
June 19, 2013, 04:43:15 AM
I'm much the opposite. I like competitive video games; DotA and CS:GO at the present, and I beat myself up quite a bit if I lose. Even if my team wins, I'll berate myself for sub-par performance. My friends always tell me to lighten up when we play. I'd say your friend is quite similar to me, really, but while I want myself to be an amazing player, he seems to already think he is one.

You should shed this womanly response to competition (however simulated) and embrace your masculinity. Only women say `tee-hee, I`m not that good LOL` while secretly reveling in praise and attention. Men range from the stoic to the braggart; do not be afraid of pride in your accomplishments. The existence of something like the Duning-Kreuger effect shouldnt blunt our humanity, the only lesson one should take from it is caution. Listen to your friends.

Fucking videogames, soma.

I didn't see it like that at all. Women try to downplay there ability on the grounds of being overly competitive and domineering might not seem very feminine, whereas what Corpse was saying is he is just rather hard on himself. I can agree with what he was saying as far as it's easy to be downplay you're abilities but femaleness is sometimes synonymous with weakness and a need to let the males seem dominant and what not.(this is just what I have noticed not to talk down on women) Although society is moving to the point where girls are encouraged to be competitive.

Re: Defeat.
June 19, 2013, 12:24:23 PM
"Fragile high self-esteem" is the same thing. Overachievers are generally effeminate nerds. We are also ultimately not rational creatures and can enjoy / seek out things we may consciously reject, especially internally. Certainly not an attention whore though.

I say this only because of experience with this kind of response and behaviour. Anecdotally, such people do indeed rate their abilities very highly, they just don't brag about them (often introverted as well). They think they are better than most people, but this is shadowed by a sense of inferiority (physical or otherwise). They delight in praise even if they are torn between embarrassment and delight. This is why I call this behaviour womanly. Such people are always restricted to second tier and frustrated because they are not truly comfortable in themselves. Perhaps I am totally off, but Corpse is the only judge.

Downplaying one's ability (among other things) can be a social cue instead of simple information exchange, an appearance more than a conviction. We are such social creatures that one can easily convince themselves of conviction where only appearance exists. Status signaling goes hand-in-hand with human existence. It is valuable to recognize it, everyone is afflicted.