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Metal shams

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 12:18:49 AM
My nominations, from the top of my head:

Gorgororth and Marduk. Both are bands that just dont *feel* right to me when I am listening to any of their works.

Marduk, because they make horrible, horrible simplistic stuff. There is no soul in there. It is true metal from the tincan. Old, stale and boring.
Everything they do sounds the same.

Now on to Gorgoroth - A band that by now has luckily broken up, and taken Gaahl to other pastures, where he hopefully will stagnate
until the end of his existence. But it is not only him, the whole musical concept they propagated from the start is just plain stupid.
That begins with the refusal not to print lyrics. While this is an interesting concept, or at least it was at Pentagram, where the lyrics just became
another instrument, it became ridiculous soon after. With those cease and desist notices and everything like that. You know, in a way they seem like
a willing parody of a parody of a black metal band. Everything over- and outdone. That still does not make or made them good, however.

(stating the obvious some more, because I am bored)
I disagree with whoever mentioned Manowar, though. Labelling them as fake is like calling a flamboyant homosexual a flamoboyant homosexual.
Manowar lives and exists through being "fake", full of hypermachismo while living in their parents basements. That is their whole concept.
And at times, when you want some power metal and get pumped, that is the best music you can get. Who has not ever tackled the laundry, taken a dump or done any other menial task
to the sounds of  "Black Wind, Fire and Steel", "Defender" or "The Demon's Whip"?


Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 03:18:48 AM
Manowar lives and exists through being "fake", full of hypermachismo while living in their parents basements. That is their whole concept.

Great post! Would read more. A++ observation.

Manowar is theatre. And not high culture... deliberately self-mocking, lunatic low culture.

They are Conan the Barbarian reflected in the raw, suppressed, couch-surfing id of our times. It's also brilliant art, and pretty good music. Manowar dissing makes no sense to me.

On Marduk: dead on, although they had a few moments on Opus Nocturne.

On Gorgoroth: dead on, although their first two albums were really good, but then they fell off rapidly.

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 07:11:52 AM
Satyricon is one of the worst offenders in this case, not because they're terrible but because they're mediocre. Every Satyricon song starts out with an awesome, powerful, well-written fist-pumping riff... And then falls completely flat. I'm convinced that their entire career was built on people who were so starry-eyed from the first 30 seconds of each song that they didn't realize the following 4-7 minutes was complete shit.

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 09:11:55 AM
Hmm.. GWAR anyone? If any band makes a mockery of metal its these fellows, we all know GWAR... a lot of people from what I know have a soft spot for poorly written music by guys in weird outfits... as Conservationist mentioned about Manowar,
Manowar lives and exists through being "fake", full of hypermachismo while living in their parents basements. That is their whole concept.
Manowar is theatre. And not high culture... deliberately self-mocking, lunatic low culture.

All the same, they should take up the theatrical arts and go on Broadway with such performances. I'd say pretty much any band in metal whose popularity solely exists upon theatrics and not the music is a sham. Hell, its the only real reason people buy they're albums anyway...

Satyricon is one of the worst offenders in this case, not because they're terrible but because they're mediocre. Every Satyricon song starts out with an awesome, powerful, well-written fist-pumping riff... And then falls completely flat. I'm convinced that their entire career was built on people who were so starry-eyed from the first 30 seconds of each song that they didn't realize the following 4-7 minutes was complete shit.

Agreed. I never understood the recent hype surrounding the music they write now... it does feel like they just give up after the introduction of every song.

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 04:20:21 PM
Well, GWAR is obvious. They've made a career out of trolling metal and its fans. Which I must say is admirable in some respects.
No.

Having reviewed the thread, baby Jesus is most definitely weeping at this point.

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 04:30:49 PM
Belphegor - An underground, heavier version of Cradle of Filth's mid 90's music. Weak, uninspired nu-black metal with simplistic death metal riff work and soloing layered into blast beats.. this band is dropping steaming turd albums every year and it feels like a lot of people eat it up for the most part..

Lately, I totally see what you mean. Their last 4 albums have sounded exactly alike. No change in musical direction, no experimentation, just pumping out stale albums over and over and over. Like a Satanic assembly line. Boooooring. I will say that I think their work till "Lucifer Incestus" is acceptable, and I do listen to all of that material somewhat regularly.


Agreed. I still enjoy "Lucifer Incestus" in particular quite a lot as well.

I would say that Behemoth has veered well into sham, if not outright ridiculous territory.

 

 

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 07:44:06 PM
Behemoth - Never a first tier act, but at one time meaningful contributors: every album released since Grom has been a pander of one sort or another, a process that has accelerated greatly over the last five years.  Clearly, they've discovered that there's a comfortable living to be made as the "death metal" counterpart to carnival freak show acts like Dimmu Borgir.

Bloodbath - Started out by filling a niche (crappy faux-Stockholm death metal) that didn't need filling.  Turned into a huge cash cow for its participants, who learned that a thriving market for the same old metalcore repackaged as "old school Swedish death metal" - a market consisting almost solely of aggro kiddies who never actually heard "old school Swedish death metal" in the first place - was there for the taking.

Judas Priest - Perhaps THE classic example of a band that blew its creative wad on four albums, then spent the next two decades trying to focus group its way back to success.  Commit to nothing.  Care about nothing.  Produce nothing.

Testament - For 20+ years, this band has survived by parasitically leeching the last dregs of credibility from dying subgenres.  When Testament makes an album in a given style, you know it is over.  Total non-contributors, and enormous douchebags to boot.

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 10:16:19 PM
Bloodbath - Started out by filling a niche (crappy faux-Stockholm death metal) that didn't need filling.  Turned into a huge cash cow for its participants, who learned that a thriving market for the same old metalcore repackaged as "old school Swedish death metal" - a market consisting almost solely of aggro kiddies who never actually heard "old school Swedish death metal" in the first place - was there for the taking.

I think its due in part to Akerfeldt's involvement, with Tägtgren they had much more potential musically.. however it still comes short to anything completely worthwhile to the metal world and is otherwise a waste of time.

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 10:45:19 PM
Judas Priest - Perhaps THE classic example of a band that blew its creative wad on four albums, then spent the next two decades trying to focus group its way back to success.  Commit to nothing.  Care about nothing.  Produce nothing.
Sad Wings of Destiny, Sin after Sin, Stained Class, and even Rocka Rolla, are essential listens. Especially Sad Wings which is a forward thinking progressive masterpiece

Re: Metal shams
December 07, 2009, 10:52:56 PM
Testament - For 20+ years, this band has survived by parasitically leeching the last dregs of credibility from dying subgenres.  When Testament makes an album in a given style, you know it is over.  Total non-contributors, and enormous doucebags to boot.

How true! I went to see this band last year on a lark, after not having thought of them one way or the other since the mid-80's. I was indeed reminded of all that is said above. They played a set that seemed to go on for hours, which was commendable in terms of givng folks their money's worth, but I'll be goddamned if I can remember even one minute of the whole night - it was that forgettable! Nuff said...   

Re: Metal shams
December 08, 2009, 03:01:18 AM
I've never seen the big hype about Testament as justified either. They always seemed like a backwards version of old Metallica/Exodus.
No.

Having reviewed the thread, baby Jesus is most definitely weeping at this point.

Re: Metal shams
December 08, 2009, 01:00:19 PM
a lot of people from what I know have a soft spot for poorly written music by guys in weird outfits... as Conservationist mentioned about Manowar

This is poorly written music by guys in weird outfits? Kids these days!

Re: Metal shams
December 09, 2009, 12:20:34 AM
How about Franta Storm's ego getting too big which consequently destroyed Master's Hammer?

Re: Metal shams
December 09, 2009, 02:36:44 AM
How about Franta Storm's ego getting too big which consequently destroyed Master's Hammer?

I was never moved by Master's Hammer at any point in their career.  Early stuff is heavy metal dressed up as carnival music, later stuff is just drive off the rails crap.

Re: Metal shams
December 12, 2009, 06:31:00 PM
a lot of people from what I know have a soft spot for poorly written music by guys in weird outfits

This is essentially the definition of metal.