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Never apologize

Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 01:10:48 AM
This is directed at no one. It is just a discussion idea.

A good general rule when socializing is never apologize. There is never a legitimate excuse:

1. Your screw up was accidental. You were oblivious to your situation when you shouldn't have been. Always give others the courtesy of paying attention.
2. Your screw up was intentional. Now you regret it. Why the bad behaviour in the first place?
”The Revolution ends by devouring its own children” – Jacques Mallet du Pan, 1793

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 02:26:24 AM
Agreed.  Whenever I've tried to apologise for anything in the past, it's sounded so disgustingly plastic, primarily because I cannot be sincere in my apology.

My epitaph should read "I'm not sorry".

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 02:36:25 AM
There's a third reason: people may dislike you for doing them wrong(who cares), but they'll villify you if you apologize. People hate being apologized to. They may think they want it, that being sorry is noble, as per the stuck Jew pig's edicts - but watch their actions (not their verbal veil of maudlin mores) once it happens.
HE WHO REAPS STORMS, SOWS WINDS. HE WHO SOWS WINDS, REAPS STORMS.

"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart."
-Ecclesiastes 7:2

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 04:47:40 AM
the only way i will ever apologize is if i have remorse for the person i have done wrong, if there is no remorse the apology was more than likely under false pretences

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 04:52:43 AM
I have a very bad compulsive habit of apologizing for everything, especially at work.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 06:09:33 AM
Well, good luck hanging out with Asians.

Ever considered that outside of American culture not apologizing for something could be considered extremely rude? Oh, and how marvelous American culture is btw.

*has "America, fuck yeah!" stuck in his head for the rest of the day now*

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 08:46:17 AM
As I see it, apologizing is not being sorry, but a formal gesture to set a formerly action as neutral as possible, in order to continue a relation in a equidistant manner. I can apologize without being sorry. I can be sorry without apologizing.

When it comes to being an automatic gesture, well...everything automatic in social relations is to be inquired.
World War I as the End of Civilization.
Tolkien as a Libertarian.
Sammaellofi:So for now on, when someone asks you what good metal is, don't say Slayer, Darkthrone, Morbid Angel, but instead say Hell Awaits, Transilvanian Hunger and Blessed are the Sick.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 08:46:56 AM
Well, good luck hanging out with Asians.

Ever considered that outside of American culture not apologizing for something could be considered extremely rude? Oh, and how marvelous American culture is btw.

*has "America, fuck yeah!" stuck in his head for the rest of the day now*
I believe "thank you" like expressions are non-existent in some Asian cultures too. I've always found it a trivial addition to language, it is obvious when you are thankful for something, but you have to say thank you for even the smallest thing, the over usage makes the expression meaningless.

What about sorry on a long term basis? Realisation and expression of past mistakes and poor judgment seems to me a vital part of progression as a person.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 09:26:19 AM
I'm not an expert on apologies within cultures but I did some googling:

Quote
The legal system in each country jibes with the respective societal
inclination or disinclination to apologize. Recognizing that the apology
is an “important ingredient in resolving conflict,”3 Japanese legal institutions
have reinforced the societal use of the apology4 and integrated it
into their justice system.5 The culture of Japan is such that all of society,
including the bench and bar, expects and demands an apology from a
party causing harm or injury to another. There is no such expectation
stateside. The societal inclination not to apologize in the U.S. setting is
matched (and perhaps shaped) by a legal culture that advises clients not
to issue an apology for fear that it may be used against the apologizer6 as
an admission of legal liability.7

http://students.law.umich.edu/mjil/article-pdfs/v27n1-lee.pdf


Quote
In the United States, people do apologize to their customers when something goes wrong. Yet fear of being blamed means that when you say you are sorry for something, you will probably also:

    * Follow with an excuse: "Sorry I'm late, but traffic was terrible."
    * Or invoke regulations so that the institution is the one at fault. "I'm sorry, but smoking isn't allowed in here."

http://www.culture-at-work.com/apology.html


I think it all boils down to simply being humble or not and how cultures view being humble. Personally I think being humble is a positive quality that shows good character, it is unfortunate that in western society being humble puts you at risk of being walked all over. The article is correct: in the west instead of apologizing we offer excuses which shows bad character, blaming other factors because we can't risk embarrassment by taking responsibility.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 09:38:23 AM
To not apologize takes practice, like a musical instrument, or language. You must constantly remove 'sorry' from your speech, just as you should remove, 'uhm,' 'like,' and, 'you know'.

I hope people read this and follow my advice. I used to use sorry as almost a physical reaction, but now it is gone, thankfully.

Instead of apologizing, you must change your inner core, and if you force a mistake on someone, you must reverse it. Actions, not words.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 03:42:07 PM
Given that I've never been one to apologise, I can't take your advice on board.  However, this raises an interesting question - what is it about our upbringing/genes which has caused the two of us to grow to be so radically different, to the extent that you had to consciously cause change in your reaction to certain situations in order to reach a manner of expression which I had attained entirely naturally, without any conscious decision?  It's far more likely to be upbringing than genes, therefore I suggest that we (as in, "we Hessians") should bring our children up to be unapolagetic.  Accident is blameless, and intention is purposeful - neither can be apologised for.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 04:37:36 PM
There's a big difference between never apologizing and never having to apologize. If you're a flawless man then kuddos to you but if you're evading responsibility or just can't bear admitting guilt because it wouldn't be compatible with your ego then I think society has enough of your type already.

Personally I think this thread kinda reeks of intellectual machismo. Why do you consider it shameful to apologize when you've made a mistake? What exactly is the purpose of never apologizing apart from boosting your own ego? How does it serve the collective if a culture where apologies are seen as shameful is created? And give me an example when you thought society expected an apology of you but you didn't give it.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 08:22:19 PM
I disagree wholeheartedly, and think that the attitude of not apologizing can easily lead to pride, or be a symptom of pride.

When you apologise, you want to be forgiven. You know that you are not perfect, and exactly for this reason you are in need of forgiveness. You want equilibrium to return. An apology says: I renounce evil, and I am on my path towards the Good.

An apology also is a sign. Others will take notice of your renouncing the sin and will be able to forgive you.
Words are also actions. Remember this the next time you make fun of someone!

However, excesses are possible: to apologise for something which one knows was right; or to apologise hypocritically. One probably also should not apologise for something one does not know to be wrong.

(Some theological background: the fact that evil is necessary does not mean that we as human beings should tolerate or "excuse" sin. Instead, we should leave it behind by seeking forgiveness.)
Whatever you honor above all things, that which you so honor will have dominion over you.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 09:09:06 PM
Agreed.  Whenever I've tried to apologise for anything in the past, it's sounded so disgustingly plastic, primarily because I cannot be sincere in my apology.

The apology sounding plastic can have various reasons; for example, the apology may not have been good or adequate, or the other person did not receive it well (which is not solely your fault). But the most common one is pride. If you cannot be sincere in your apology, then you must learn humility.
Whatever you honor above all things, that which you so honor will have dominion over you.

Re: Never apologize
April 13, 2010, 09:13:42 PM
There's a third reason: people may dislike you for doing them wrong(who cares), but they'll villify you if you apologize. People hate being apologized to. They may think they want it, that being sorry is noble, as per the stuck Jew pig's edicts - but watch their actions (not their verbal veil of maudlin mores) once it happens.

This view of human relationships is somewhat askew, to say the least. First of all, most of us are not social retards. We want to enrich others, not burden them. Second, an apology normally results in forgiveness and not in vilification. Normal people do not hate being apologized to.
Whatever you honor above all things, that which you so honor will have dominion over you.