Never apologize

[Tachäl Dhäl]

"I fucked up.  I'm going to _______________ to try and set it right."  And then don't fuck up in the same way again.  If you're not making mistakes worth apologizing for, you really ought to get out more often.

[scourge]

To not apologize takes practice, like a musical instrument, or language. You must constantly remove 'sorry' from your speech, just as you should remove, 'uhm,' 'like,' and, 'you know'.

I hope people read this and follow my advice. I used to use sorry as almost a physical reaction, but now it is gone, thankfully.

Instead of apologizing, you must change your inner core, and if you force a mistake on someone, you must reverse it. Actions, not words.

Well said. Lack of discipline is the root of the problem. Apologies do not fix such a problem, but perhaps eugenics would!

[scourge]

Agreed here:

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes.

But less so here:

Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

Never apologize, never acknowledge guilt, the distributed public replacement for shame, which is a private effect evolved to force us to get it right next time or experience more psychological pain.

Listen to rather than annouce shame in order to better stay attentive and accountable in the future. This makes better people. Apologies make people circumvent self-improvement by applying a socially acceptable diversion in lieu of suffering, introspection and lastly, effort toward betterment.

[nous]

Never apologize, never acknowledge guilt, the distributed public replacement for shame, which is a private effect evolved to force us to get it right next time or experience more psychological pain.

Listen to rather than annouce shame in order to better stay attentive and accountable in the future. This makes better people. Apologies make people circumvent self-improvement by applying a socially acceptable diversion in lieu of suffering, introspection and lastly, effort toward betterment.

An apology normally comes after one has learned something; it is a public judgement on a past error.
The decision to improve oneself is prior to the decision to apologize. It is totally unrealistic to play self-improvement off against apologizing.
So, I really don't see what's so problematic about this. You only sound like you cannot bring yourself to admit an error. Or maybe you want to manipulate a woman with it? In which case it would be quite evil.

And intelligent people will notice and avoid you, even deem you sick.

[Bondage]

I apologize all the time and I am never sincere. I channel my inner sociopath; in certain circumstances, apologizing for things that are not your fault (or are you fault) will get you what you want. And I dunno how any of you are going to live with a woman if cannot physically apologize. I am sorry you can't understand that.

[Reginald Gillette]

I agree with Nous here.  Seems pretty straightforward: of course we ought not apologize reflexively, submissively.  But if I realize I harmed ya by mistake, then I apologize for my oversight.  This is honorable and civil, 2 traits becoming of a Traditionalist, no?  If I bump you on the street, I'll say 'Sorry', which also lets you know it's not an aggressive act.

Eugenics won't stop people from ever making mistakes. 

[Veritas]

I'll agree with scourge in that apologizing is often just a means of removing guilt, and then not having to do anything about it.

"I did something bad, but as long as I say sorry then it's ok and people won't think I'm a bad person."

If you don't symbolically remove responsibility for your actions, then maybe it will push you to actually take responsibility.

[Transcix]

A good general rule when socializing is never apologize. There is never a legitimate excuse:

1. Your screw up was accidental. You were oblivious to your situation when you shouldn't have been. Always give others the courtesy of paying attention.
2. Your screw up was intentional. Now you regret it. Why the bad behaviour in the first place?

I strongly disagree.

You can be 100% impeccable but you will inevitably enter into circumstances you can't possibly predict. Especially if you're very strong and wise, it's inevitable you'll step on lots of toes when you deal with others who are not as advanced, unless you first conduct very extensive anthropological, sociological and psychological investigations of the background of any group of people you would come into contact with, but clearly that would be absurdly inefficient.

Often when I say "I'm sorry" what I really mean by it is "I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand me", but I leave the last part out. It's true I'm admittedly frustrated with their lack of knowledge, however I easily distinguish between the dreary state of affairs of modern times where true knowledge is rendered difficult to grasp, and their failures to grasp it - the path of self-realization is indeed difficult, and at the end of the day I know nobody chooses to suffer, per the very definition of suffering, so I know the culprit is impersonal rather than personal, the culprit is not the person but ignorance and ignorance is as substantive as the void of space if you dig in the ground and that we call "hole"; ignorance is a state, not a thing.

Relatedly, if I never apologized, it would render my communication with others extremely difficult, because surely most people would not clearly perceive where I were truly coming from if I never apologized. They would think I was egocentric, insecure, dishonest or just plain dumb for not realizing when I'm wrong, and in my experience if you want to talk about serious things and converse in a piercingly direct way (as I prefer to do) then it's very important that your words carry a certain amount of credibility and integrity, otherwise the medium of your communication totally destroys the message.

Furthermore, why be concerned with how other people perceive you? Ultimately you should only be concerned with how you perceive yourself, however it's true on a conventional level it's also important how others perceive you. But - and this is the thing - I only ever feel that I've actually lost face if I error in my relationship with my own self, not in my relationships with other people. I do whatever the fuck I have to do in order to successfully navigate the conventionalities of modern society, to the extent the character and personality of who I am can withstand it, and I think if you can't stand to say I'm sorry to others then that's a pretty weak position. Or, if you just don't like people and you honestly want to be antagonistic towards others, then there are much more drastic measures you can take than just refraining to say sorry (and you may even want to say sorry in order to be properly passive aggressive or something).

[scourge]

Nonsense. Unless we're okay with devolving then we'll understand emotional reactions are subordinate to understanding.

[Dinaric Leather]

I wish the people on here would quit acting like they're hard, I know our pussy society is making it hard to function naturally as a man, but the answer isn't being a coarse prick to everyone you meet.

Seems pretty straightforward: of course we ought not apologize reflexively, submissively.  But if I realize I harmed ya by mistake, then I apologize for my oversight.  This is honorable and civil, 2 traits becoming of a Traditionalist, no?  If I bump you on the street, I'll say 'Sorry', which also lets you know it's not an aggressive act.

[Conservationist]

The culture of guilt is odious, and so saying "sorry" as an impulse is really weakening. It also cheapens the apology.

Better to treat it like a leader, and view all problems as existing independent of anyone's control, unless they are behavioral problems, in which case they can be fixed by discipline or ad hoc eugenics.

[David_Brent]

I don't know about you guys, but if somebody broke my 'legion' cd by deicide, it seems more appropriate if the guy would apologize.

[Cargést]

No, it seems more appropriate for them to buy a new one in replacement.

[Reginald Gillette]

Apologize sometimes.  If your shit can be fixed by discipline or eugenics, still apologize until it IS fixed.  A leader will live large, step on many toes, apologize when he notices, taking responsibility for his foibles.  They're just foibles.

[scourge]

We're awash enough in insincerity and a "good enough is all we can achieve" mentality. It is past time for some authentic cultural change and not the empty election slogan variety.

It comes down to the decision of what you want. Do you want Haight-Ashbury, with its constant chaos and variety, like a feast of distraction?

Or do you think the outside world is mostly a waste, and want a stable place in which to discover yourself and your purpose? Then you might choose a Mayberry instead.

Conservatives of the future will not apologize. They will not justify, grovel or defend. They will view politics as products on a shelf and say, “Yes, I’d like the best option you have, and damn the cost.”

http://www.amerika.org/politics/conservatives-of-the-future-will-not-apologize/

This is pretty much directed at Americans and others who remain promising. With heartfealt sympathy I understand it is no longer realistic to expect much from the English, Irish, or Canadians.