National Lowered Standards Day (August 4)

[Conservationist]

We propose a Federal holiday to celebrate our transition to a lowest common denominator state. It's about time. We've been killing productivity, celebrating the half-done, making the mediocre the norm, and ignoring the world around us for years. We're lazy and we don't want to rise to the occasion. We want to do nothing. It's just time to make it official.

National Lowered Standards Day (August 4)

Seems accurate.


POST EVERYWHERE

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[img]http://www.anus.com/etc/nlsd/national_lowered_standards_day.jpg[/img]

We propose a Federal holiday to celebrate our transition to a lowest common denominator state. It's about time. We've been killing productivity, celebrating the half-done, making the mediocre the norm, and ignoring the world around us for years. We're lazy and we don't want to rise to the occasion. We want to do nothing. It's just time to make it official.

[url=http://www.anus.com/etc/nlsd/?tag=RIP_THE_SACRED_FLESH-SODOMIZE_THE_HOLY_ASSHOLE-DRINK_THE_RED_BLOOD_OF_THE_MOTHER_OF_EARTH-MASTURBATION_ON_THE_DEAD_BODY_OF_CHRIST-THE_KING_OF_JEWS_IS_DEAD-AND_SO_ARE_THE_LIES-VOMIT_ON_THE_HOST_OF_HEAVEN-MASTURBATE_ON_THE_THRONE_OF_GOD-BREAK_THE_SEALS_OF_ANGELS-DRINK_THE_SWEET_BLOOD_OF_CHRIST-TASTE_THE_FLESH_OF_THE_PRIEST-SODOMIZE_HOLY_NUNS-THE_KING_OF_JEWS_IS_A_LIAR-THE_HEAVENS_WILL_BURN-DETHRONE_THE_SON_OF_GOD-GOD_IS_DEAD-HOLYNESS_IS_GONE-PURITY_IS_GONE-PRAYERS_ARE_BURNED-COVERED_IN_BLACK_SHIT-RAPE_THE_HOLY_GHOST-UNCLEAN_BIRTH_OF_JESUS_CHRIST-HEAVEN_WILL_FALL-FUCK_THE_CHURCH-FUCK_CHRIST-FUCK_THE_VIRGIN-FUCK_THE_GODS_OF_HEAVEN-FUCK_THE_NAME_OF_JESUS]National Lowered Standards Day (August 4)[/url]


[N0thing]

I don't see this making that big of a statement as say the "End Democracy 2008" thing.

[esoteric]

What the heck does 'killing productivity' mean? I suppose ideally you'd have us work 9-5 shifts in air-polluting coal factories, taking us back 150 years?

Production is not an end but a means.

But of course, if we found a way to produce food using robots without manual labour (ie real progress), that would be an outrage! We must work, for that is the essence of life! None of this loafing around and actually enjoying life! Sieg Heil!

[scourge]

Nah, you attend work 8-9 hours but get 2-4 hours of actual continuous work accomplished.

[Conservationist]

I suppose ideally you'd have us work 9-5 shifts in air-polluting coal factories, taking us back 150 years?

I don't believe in the progressive fallacy. The reason you don't work 9-5 shifts in air-polluting coal factories is that our nation is now temporarily wealthier than that.

The point is not "work unnecessarily hard," but that most people are doing make-work at a mediocre level. That's one reason why the USA at least is falling apart in lazy incompetence.

I don't know if it will be big or not. But it made me laugh. Especially the flag.

[scourge]

Spamming the bejesus outta this. Why isn't everyone? Oh. It's inconvenient. Nevermind.

[Conservationist]

It must not have been funny enough. Civilization death humor is not for most.

[JewishPhysics]

It must not have been funny enough. Civilization death humor is not for most.

Most of the response I got from this was along the lines of, "That's what I do everyday anyway, man!"  It appears you have hit on one of those topics where parody and reality have become indistinguishable.

[scourge]

Score another for International Nobody Left Behind Day.

Despite promises that the exams -- which determine whether students advance to the next grade -- would not be dumbed down this year, students got "partial credit" for wrong answers after failing to correctly add, subtract, multiply and divide. Some got credit for no answer at all.

A year ago, Chancellor Joel Klein boasted that the city was making "dramatic progress" when 82 percent of city students passed the state math test and 69 percent passed in English, up sharply from 2002. And fewer kids have been left back in recent years.

What officials didn't reveal was that the number of points needed to pass proficiency levels has, in most cases, steadily dropped.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/how_do_you_pass_ny_school_tests_tCqFKo40FhcwkO5SoPYWRI

[Nihilist News Network (NNN)]

Happy NLSD!

"National Lowered Standards Day" Celebrates Decline into Apathy and Mediocrity

Psychologists propose "National Lowered Standards Day" to ease American transition into irrelevance, through the apathy and thus mediocrity of its citizens.

August 4, 2010 -- Psychologists at the Miskatonic University are proposing a "National Lowered Standards Day" to ease the transition Americans will experience as they go from being a nation of competent, hard-working people united around success, to a backwater of the third-world levels of dysfunction owing to the apathy, complacency, stupidity and laziness of its citizens.

This proposed holiday, which would occur every year on August 4, would "soften the psychological impact" of having once been the world's leading nation, and now being "another banana republic where the cops are corrupt, the politicians are con men, the media entertainment, and the average person a total lazy idiot who thinks he's a victim of circumstance, which justifies his further apathy," according to lead psychologist Dr. Jungman Werther.

"What separates first-world nations from third-world nations is not geography or politics," said Dr. Werther. "It's degree of organization. In the first world, you have rule of law, cleanliness, social order and values in common. In the third world you have none of that, so those societies are totally disorganized through a process we call exponential entropy. When a first world nation, through the apathy and dysfunction of its citizens, becomes disorganized, it becomes a third-world type nation instead, even if it's far from what we usually think of as the Third World."

Werther's group is distributing leaflets and posters to convince Americans that it's OK to be mediocre, disaffected and oblivious. Doing so, he says, reduces the shock of a whole nation finding that it's suddenly irrelevant. "We're going to ease people into this transition," said Dr. Werther. "It's like any other transition in life -- old age, death, disease or retirement. Our past phase was a vital, full life, and now it's time to sit on the sofa in the retirement home, play bingo, eat bland food and watch lots and lots of exciting television."

On the official website for National Lowered Standards Day, the text proclaims: "For years, we have struggled to maintain higher standards, but it just hasn't worked. It's inconvenient. To recognize this, we propose a Federal holiday to celebrate a lowest common denominator state of mind." It is hoped Americans will recognize the wisdom of these words but as Dr. Werther admits, "it's difficult" to make apathetic and mediocre people even take notice.

http://www.anus.com/etc/nlsd/nlsd-pr.txt

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[img]http://www.anus.com/etc/nlsd/national_lowered_standards_day.jpg[/img]

For years, we have struggled to maintain higher standards, but it just hasn't worked. It's inconvenient. To recognize this, we propose a Federal holiday to celebrate a lowest common denominator state of mind. This is the National Lowered Standards Day, and we celebrate it every August 4.

[url=http://www.anus.com/etc/nlsd/]National Lowered Standards Day (August 4)[/url]


[Umbrage]

It must not have been funny enough. Civilization death humor is not for most.

It made me laugh very hard when I read it. I just didn't respond to it yet because it's one of those (many) anus things that just makes me nod and agree. Like JewBob said it's too close to reality for "outsiders" to get it I guess. It's definitely worth spamming on the right moments and places though, to confront people with either their own or other people's behavior.

[beyond_godlike]

Why August fourth?

[Nimbostratus]

I was going to promote this but then I better kept watching funny videos in youtube all day to celebrate the day.

I didn't work or anything. Right now, I need to go to the bathroom but I better shit in my pants... yay.

[Nihilist News Network (NNN)]

Why August fourth?

Hypothesis:

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/04/happy-birthday-mr-president/

[Umbrage]

Ok, I know it's one day late but hey that's the true spirit of NLSD. So today I was in the kitchen to fetch some bread, remembered NLSD and decided not to use a plate because I couldn't be bothered retrieving it from the cabinet. Then I figured that the more I try not to drop any crumbs on the floor while eating, the more bread I'm saving! This in turn will help other proletarians not have to work so hard and I'm fighting against capitalism and overproduction at the same time! This NLSD thing really rocks!