Painless and fun DIY intoxicant

[scourge]

Components
2 cans Beck's beer
1 ripe apple
1 heaping bowl of cheerios and milk
1 quarter pound hamburger and fries
1 Wine bottle drained down to 1-2 ounces of stale swill and sediment

Prestidigitation
Consume beer late night and leave inside until early morning
Wake up and consume ripe apple
Let apple and beer residue ferment in gut flora 2 hours
Coffee and short nap
Consume cheerios and milk for early lunch

Transmutation
Wait 2-3 hours for stage 2 fermentation
Have burger and fries late lunch for rapid bowel catalyst
Ingredients should now be ready for excretion

Conjuration
Effluent tsunami should resemble a Biblical scale Exodus
Catch in mostly empty wine bottle but leave 6 inch air space in the bottle neck

Evocation
After quick cleanup, carry corked bottle to nearest asphalt parking lot
It should be mid to late afternoon, so let bottle sit under blistering summer sun
After 35-45 minutes if the bottle doesn't crack, the cork should pop like a rocket

Divination
Immediately huff and enter the Promised Land of Jenk!

[JewishPhysics]

That looks too complicated.  If you're going to go through the trouble of Jenkin', you should just get a bucket, mix in ammonia and bleach, stick in your head, and breathe deeply.  Once you've tried this, you won't do anything else.

[Christ Died of AIDS]

DIY highs are about as desperate and pathetic as it gets. I'll meet you halfway and say that brewing your own beer or wine is an excellent experiment, I've tried a few times in the past with semi-decent results. Or hell, grow your own pot. Or even easier, grow your own mushrooms. But jenkem is just... foul.

[JewishPhysics]

DIY highs are about as desperate and pathetic as it gets. I'll meet you halfway and say that brewing your own beer or wine is an excellent experiment, I've tried a few times in the past with semi-decent results. Or hell, grow your own pot. Or even easier, grow your own mushrooms. But jenkem is just... foul.

You realize it's fake, right?  And that the recipe I gave makes mustard gas.

[scourge]

Your recipe is chlorine gas not mustard gas which actually uses mustard seed btw. The initial steps through transmutation up to the first step in conjuration were real I'm relieved to share

[Cargést]

I know a painless and fun OTC intoxicant.  Benadryl.

No, seriously - diphenhydramine is great!  Just  a few hundred mgs and you'll be TRIPPING BALLS (and you'll be immune to nasal irritants [except for dipenhydramine]).

Never mind the bugs crawling on everything, or the constant lack of short-term memory.

[JewishPhysics]

Your recipe is chlorine gas not mustard gas which actually uses mustard seed btw.

Oops.  You're right.  It can also make other things depending on the proportions used.  I believe they're explosive.

I know a painless and fun OTC intoxicant.  Benadryl.

Robitussin works, too.  Just make sure to use the Night Time Cough, Cold & Flu brand.

[Cargést]

Robitussin, by all accounts, can actually give you a pleasant trip.  Benadryl is the stuff of nightmares.

[N0thing]

Why is there a jenk link on this site? Never heard about it before. This is disgusting, and extreme immature.

Also: It would have been funnier in OP is you had a non-disgusting formula for mustard gas, and advertised it as the next greatest thing.

[istaros]

Mainstream media powerhouses disagree! In fact, Fox News and The New York Times both agree that it's pretty SRS BSNS.

[scourge]

Why is there a jenk link on this site? Never heard about it before. This is disgusting, and extreme immature.

Thanks for inquiring! Volunteers might also want to help support the Brown Ribbon Hemorrhoid Awareness Campaign.

[Deacon]

Robitussin, by all accounts, can actually give you a pleasant trip.  Benadryl is the stuff of nightmares.

Truth, although DXM makes me feel rather disgusting / poisoned on the come up and stupid for a while after. DPH is just awful: your limbs feel like lead, you're extremely disoriented, and probably tormented by the relentless and 100% vivid hallucinations of marauding creatures and flickering lights. I don't think either drug is really worth taking, but I wouldn't go so far as to discourage any would-be psychonaut from at least trying DXM. Just do some basic reading on it first, and have a small bit of weed ready. With 500mg or so DXM (for my roughly 180 lb body), this can produce quite an intense trip. You might even think it's a profound or enlightening experience, but probably won't remember much of anything the next day.

But In my (rather limited) experience, drugs aren't enlightening at all after you've tried them once. Weed may be helpful for meditating or achieving certain states of mind, but you're better off training yourself to reach these goals with by yourself, and being honest about what drugs are  - a valueless escape - if you do choose to indulge. There is a social aspect with weed and alcohol, but this is dangerous, particularly in the former, because it leads people to downplay the negative side effects of weed. Most stoners I know will fervently deny that habitual weed smoking clouds their brains, reduces overall energy, motivation, and mood (in some), and does a significant amount of respiratory damage. The complete rape of short term memory is one thing that most heavy smokers will admit to.

[Master Cthulhu]

Honestly, I don't like getting extremely fucked up.

I like a good marijuana high once in a while, but I don't like to do it around other people very much. It seems like other people can't control it as much as I can, and I always end up being the "responsible" one. I don't get extremely hyper like some do, but I do get an amazing painless feeling, in which I'm "walkin' on sunshine." I love listening to music while on weed, and I find myself paying more attention than usual to things I would not while sober (Filosofem is especially good for this).

I've never tried anything "harder" than weed or alcohol, and I don't really plan to. Sometimes when I'm high even on weed I feel incredibly stupid, and sometimes I have regrets.

People who love to "party" on weed are incredibly stupid, and really are a waste of the substance.

[JewishPhysics]

Quick FYI:  Don't do dextromethorphan or any other dissociatives.  Also, I recommended a specific brand because it's the kind most likely to kill you if you try to use it to get high.  Check the ingredients.

[Cargést]

Quick FYI:  Don't do dextromethorphan or any other dissociatives.  Also, I recommended a specific brand because it's the kind most likely to kill you if you try to use it to get high.

I don't think there's anybody on this forum foolish enough to consider that substances with multiple active ingredients would be ok to OD on for "recreational uses".  A small amount of research can yield information regarding the serious problems facing those who attempt to get high on "all in one" cough mixtures etc.

Then again, if you manage to troll someone to death, you're a credit to natural selection.

If ever I discover a desire to leave my earthly shackles, I'll use an OTC hallucinogen, rather than the almost certainly tainted LSD we've got kicking around in London.  Price is not an obstacle.

Check the ingredients

Acetaminophen, Phenylephrine

OH SHI-

I know of someone who died from the suggested dosage of paracetamol.  I do hope someone doesn't read much further than your third post, Bob.