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Messages - Walt

[1] 2 ... 4
1
Interzone / Re: Confidence.
« on: March 19, 2014, 02:46:00 PM »
How do you do this? How is this achieved?

I think this is not something you can learn, but something you do. I'm wondering what steps one takes to arrive at the doing.

2
Interzone / Field report from Scenic Nootropica
« on: March 02, 2014, 06:20:03 PM »
Noopept

Description
Some kind of Russian manufactured super powered peptide enhanced derivative of piracetam. Manufactured with recycled tractor parts and AK-47's. Combining the chemical with high grade Vodka (pairing with drinking cologne is specifically contraindicted) is known to cause spontaneous combustion and rampant Kozachok.

Effects
Crosses the Blood Brain barrier readily, binds like insufflated superglue to the appropriate receptor sites. This stuff is effective in very small doses. Optimal effects observed at one or two doses of 9mg per day. Quasi psychedelic effects replete with short term memory annihilation observed at 50 - 100mg doses.

This compound reputedly stimulates the release of BDNF which is also one of the theorized methods of action of modern anti depressant medication. One of the most significant effects of this compound is the general mood lift that follows dosing. Improves cognition in a ...weird way. I find noopept impedes my short term memory, which is something of a disadvantage as said memory is required to keep the OS informed as to what it's supposed to be doing while it's preoccupied with brapping off of the cranium. Memory issues amount to occasionally forgetting why you walked in to a room, however you'll be too damned chipper to care. Verbal fluency increases, it is easier to articulate ideas and grasp concepts. Psyche seems more stable, easier to deal with problems that arise. Probably there are a whole lot of long term benefits to sustaining increased levels of BDNF- recovering from drug induced brain damage, keeping your brain 'young' etc etc. I'm not entirely clear on this though, it's been a while since I stopped taking it and I don't remember much specifically other than it felt good.
On the flip side, taking excessively high doses felt a whole lot like a threshold dose of LSD. Short term memory problems were pretty apparent, pretty fucked, and persisted for more than a month after I stopped taking the stuff. I want to communicate the effect on visual acuity as a GPU metaphor. Imagine you overclocked your rig and were all of a sudden pushing tremendous amounts of data to your display. It looks awesome as fuck, holy shit, look at all these details you've never noticed, colours are brighter, everything is sharper, more defined, and there's this interesting lysergic shimmer to everything- the world looks so vibrant and amazing. But you've got huge pipeline problems, the CPU is just shitting the bed and dropping frames all over the place and you've got a disquieting staccato clumping to your perceptual input and you're head feels, well, like other processes are being affected in a similar way. Definitely interesting but the memory issues make it untennable. You don't really want to exceed the recommended dosage with this one.

Aniracetam

Description
Insoluble bilge milk harvested from the purulent udders of bovine Chris Reifert would sing about.
They'd be love songs at that.
The compound is completely hydrophobic and mocks your attempts to administer it dissolved in water by floating on your beverage like a chancre. FUCKING UNDISCIPLINED SUPPLEMENTS.

Effects
Aniracetam has a relatively higher binding affinity for AMPA receptor sites compared to other Nootropics. This produces a mild anxiolytic effect, you'll feel pretty chilled.
Apparently Aniracetam is livered or brained but somehow magicked into some metabolite that has slightly different effects to its parent compound- so the initial effects are heavy on the anxiolytic chill and after an hour or two the more focusing effects become apparent. I really enjoyed this compound in social sittings, anxiolytic effects lead to more relaxed and considered conversing and it seems to work well for lateral speaky/people type situations. I was primarily taking this before going to work at a liquor store (I'll finish my degree next year and summarily burn the place to the ground) and it made it a hell of a lot easier to converse with strangers about stupid bullshit. 
Aniracetam doesn't seem to vary its effects with dosage as much as the other racetams. 400 - 800mg two or three times a day seemed to work best. After three or four months I stopped noticing much effect from aniracetam and stopped taking it. I was usually coadministering this with either noopept or piracetam (and methylphenidate) and probably just induced a whole bunch of receptor downregulation which would be sorted back to baseline with a months abstinence. Unfortunately one night while I was huffing along the pavement with some fresh steamy jenk I was scrutinized by the fuzz and was forced to dump my dumplings in my noots container to avoid doing hard time. Abstinence has since been off the cards as it was heady brew and I've yet to divine the secret of transdimensional shamanic pineal stimulation from my deceased grandma, long live the new flesh.

Oxiracetam

Description
I'm somewhat certain that this is piracetam with an oxygen atom adhered. This addition appears to have displaced the holyshitthistastesawful atom from the molecule and gives us an almost sweet tasting supplement. Happy days.

Effects
This stuff is virtually the same as piracetam except that it costs a whole lot more, is mildly stimulating, and induces extreme colonic distress in high enough doses.
If you ever find yourself questioning piracetams cheap ubiquity, shitty taste and complete lack of giving you diarrhea for days on end, oxiracetam is for you. Buckle down and give em hell.

Piracetam

Description
Ambrosia that fell from the sky and also through some demigods anus. Granddaddy of nootropics. Prepare your tastebuds for masochistic delight. Ever wonder how people can debase themselves to enjoy eating other peoples scat? Piracetam holds all the answers. It shits on your tongue and elevates your existence and utterly convinces you that tongue shitting is a pretty all right thing to do. 

Effects
Piractem was the first nootropic I ever took and the one I keep coming back to. All problems with piracetam can be remedied by taking more piracetam. Most problems in life can be diminished with piracetam. Issues stemming from internet strangers exagerating how good piracetam is can be rectified by taking more piracetam.
Ahem.
So the literature generally suggests taking about 3 grams of piracetam per day. This is terrible advice* and you should disregard it. Apparently piracetam is an allosteric modulator of NMDA and AMPA receptor sites. In high enough concentrations the activity across these two receptor sites begins to self potentiate. I can't remember exactly where I read this, and given it was on the internet I'm not sure the person positing this opinion has any qualifications beyond perusing webmd articles. However I find myself agreeing with the essence of their statement: take more piracetam. I'm currently taking about 25 - 30 grams per day and it's working pretty well. The effects are subtle but well worth it. These aren't a pancea for the savant challenged-  the etymology of 'nootropic' is erroneous in my opinion. These substances aren't going to improve your IQ, they don't raise your cognitive ceiling. They just make it easier to deal with shit. Feels like there is less brain fog, less impediments in all areas of the psyche: memory, vocabulary, emotions, communication. I couldn't sit an IQ test before and after and point to some quantitative difference and honestly that isn't the point. Probably if that's what you're after nootropics can make it feel like you're doing things better and faster and can give you some nice narcissistic jollies but in terms of measurable effects meditation, diet and exercise are probably more important. I can tell you that my social interactions with my friends and significant other have improved, expression and communication are up and that imbues it's own benefits. I'm less inclined to become lost on the internet aimlessly clicking through links in a stupor. I feel more goal focused, more capable of weathering events that rock the boat, more present. Feels good man.

*I've only been taking this high a dose for a few weeks now, I expect the effects might change over time. I read about a canadian person who uses the handle Isochroma on various forums (google his name) who inspired this dosing regimen. He reported feeling fucking amazing though seemed to be exhibiting symptoms of hypomania which may point to long term issues, but hey, I figure this stuff is a whole bunch more benign than the rivers of intoxicants that have passed through my body in the past.

Cholinergics(ish)

Choline bitartrate, lecithin, Alpha GPC, CDP Choline, Centrophenoxine, Acetyl L Carnitine

Description
At some point it was deemed that all racetam supplementation necessitated cholinergic supplementation. I think the proliferation of this assertion is like a bunch of scrotums, gently slapping on your forehead, ruining your day. Racetams implicate a bunch (read most, or all, whatever, it's not like you're brain runs exclusively on 98 octane choline) neurotransmitters in their action. Acetyl Choline is probably the most widespread so it gets the most attention. NB centrophenoxine and Acetyl L Carnitine are not direct choline sources.

Effects
Choline Bitartrate tastes like shit and smells vaguely like semen. (I do hope this is true, I'd feel bad if it was just some disgruntled Chinese factory worker who gave my batch its smell.) Excess choline can cause depression. When I started taking this shit I got mad depressed. It seems like the body acclimatizes after a while and becomes capable of regulating choline levels better. Taking a small amount can alleviate neck tension and brain fog caused by nootropics, but so can diet and vitamin supplementation.

Alpha GPC and CDP Choline can cross the blood brain barrier and are a direct source of acetyl choline. The effects of these compounds is apparent immediately after administration. The first few times I took it I felt great, like it amplified the racetam effects. After that I fell into a slump and the supplements just made me feel shitty. Retrospectively I think I was just taking far too much choline. Homeostasis was reached after a while. The supplements just felt normal, I started getting huge swathes of pimples on my back like I was a teenager again and my body temperature was generally elevated. Choline supplementation is known to spike testosterone levels, though I can't much vouch for this effect as patella femoral disorder and bursitis forced a break from lifting and running, experienced no sick gains, just sick pimples. 

Acetyl L Carnitine Apparently does a whole bunch of great things you can learn about through google. Mostly it just increased my appetite and made me feel a bit jittery.

Centrophenoxine tastes incredibly vile, reputedly it does good things but I'm not sure if I've experienced any of them- placebo or massive confounding by coadministered substances.
Seriously you have no idea how bad this shit tastes.

I've sourced most of these substances through ebay. Apparently piracetam was put on some prohibited list by the Australian TGA so it's no longer legal to be sold commericially in Australia, meaning it can no longer be found on ebay.com.au however it is still legal to import direct from the vendor- for cheap, in bulk quantities. PLUG YOUR NOOTS AND WORSHIP SATAN.
 

3
Interzone / Re: Meaning.
« on: December 13, 2013, 02:19:20 PM »
Quote
Idealism is the philosophical belief that the universe operates either in a way that is similar to our thoughts, or is composed of thoughts itself.

A transcendental or pragmatic idealism suggests that the mechanism of the universe is similar to thoughts, and we know it through the metaphor of thoughts (as we cannot perceive it directly, and know it only through our perceptual filter) but that, in our lives as functional beings, what becomes important is not the tangible, physical world but its significance, or meaning, in the context of thoughts.


- http://www.anus.com/etc/prozakhistan/idealism.htm

Stuff happens. Maybe it has intrinsic meaning, maybe it doesn't.
More useful is the effect it has on the observer.
How do you feel about things? How do you feel about the things you make happen?

When I was much younger I ingested a quantity of psilocybin mushrooms, I was standing in a clearing staring up at the moon and stars incanting some Nietzsche about the eternal recurrence- willing some god or demon to appear.

Of course nothing happened, no deity descended to inflict purpose on me, no paradigm shift and forced ascension occurred, and that saddened me to the exclusion of all else.

I was in a beautiful place, surrounded by good friends and elevated with fungus and polyglot hibiscus- but completely incapable of enjoying this bounty because of some brain machination.

When I try to analyze a thing, the most piercing thoughts rise up from the deeps. I'm not the conscious creator, I just experience them. All of my best conversations happen this way. All of my epiphanies, all my actions.

The conscious thinking that occupies most of my waking hours- it doesn't seem that useful to me, at all. It provides distractions and emotional masturbation and little else.
What then of the nature of thoughts? Maybe finding meaning is finding a better way to think. Rather to not think so that meaning can appear when the debris of the self is pushed aside. 
The pursuit of meaning then becomes the pursuit of this state- what use is a meaningless life.
And what work can a man do that he becomes so overwhelmed with existing so as to not need external meaning. To do as he will, and experience what he will and need no validation outside of that?

I can only speculate.

4
Interzone / Re: Meaning.
« on: December 08, 2013, 02:46:04 AM »
How does meaning manifest in your life? Is it created, is it emergent?
How does the perennial intersect with the mundane? Is there meaning in doing household chores or are they done out of necessity? Are these mutually exclusive? Do you shit with a thousand ecstasies? Does mowing the lawn set you trembling with ennui?
What does meaning (in the context of this thread) mean anyway? Is it borne of intellect, or something else? 

Quote
Do you wrestle with dreams?
Do you contend with shadows?
Do you move in a kind of sleep?
Time has slipped away.
Your life is stolen.
You tarried with trifles,
Victim of your folly.

- Dirge for Jamis on the funeral plain
 

5
Interzone / Re: The Case Of The Mysterious Shoe.
« on: November 17, 2013, 01:51:37 AM »
Shoes abandoned after hobo's brewed jenk in them? Like some high quality hows-your-grandfather jenk. The real shit.

Shoes stolen by vandals from the front of a temple where footwear removal is required for entry.

Land dwelling hermit crabs?

Feral dogs performing a similar act to the aforementioned vandals?

Shoes used by a conscientious sodomite as an impromptu condom to prevent opeth transmission during a delightful spot of buggery? 

6
Interzone / Re: Audio turns to visual in the mind
« on: November 12, 2013, 03:37:28 PM »
Reading Spinoza Ray Prozak, specifically The Undiscovered Country Ezine and Prozakhistan factored heavily (exclusively is probably a better descriptor) in my deciding to experiment with cannnabis as a teenager. Reading the DLA and this forum switched me on to proper metal and away from the tripe so I guess in a roundabout way strike one affirmative response to your question, Crow.

I can see why drugs were bought up in the context of this thread, cannabis used to give me very intense closed eye visuals. Burzuming out ones innate Trve Kvltness after five bongs was a pleasant experience for the head movies and enhanced aural appreciation that the normals just couldn't get, mannn.

I find actively pursuing visual correspondence detracts from appreciating the music. It's all well and good if one is shape mapping the sounds but too often it's a forced interpretation and turns into ego masturbation- but that's just my experience. There was a thread on this a while ago, listening methods I think was in the title yes, there were some good posts in thatun.

7
Interzone / Re: If it really is me.
« on: November 12, 2013, 02:42:21 PM »
The body is made from bits of borrowed carbon. The individual is a design, a specific structure, the constituents are interchangeable. The components are necessary for expression of that structure but they are not that structure.

You are a It, but you have an I. It doesn't make a lot of sense to claim ownership of some accreted atoms that spell out your shape. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to claim ownership of the thoughts peopling your skull. It's a problem that these things are so easy to do.

Well that's a brief recap of my thought process after ingesting a threshold dose of LSD* with too much noopept and taking my dog for a walk.

 *about a tenth of a tab but this is north Australian acid so I imagine it's brewed by some filthy pentagenarian Tableland dwelling hippy scumfuck PLUR bastard in suboptimal conditions and probably utilizing gonad sweat as a core ingredient: The tab was fairly weak.

Was the thread title referring to the Polygon Window song of the same name?

8
Interzone / Re: Spirituality can not be explained.
« on: September 08, 2013, 02:28:19 AM »
"The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name
The nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth
The named is the mother of myriad things

Thus, constantly free of desire
One observes its wonders
Constantly filled with desire
One observes its manifestations

These two emerge together but differ in name
The unity is said to be the mystery
Mystery of mysteries, the door to all wonders"

9
Interzone / Re: Suicide
« on: June 01, 2013, 02:33:57 PM »
Quote
Suicide can either be practical, vanity, or an irrational impulse depending on the context.

Why do metalheads seek gallantry in giving up and killing yourself? Suicide is for quitters, yo. I guess you could argue a case for the terminally ill, the illogically suicidal, the amazingly heroic etc etc, but these are statistical outliers, most people who kill themselves are well, pussies.

Quote
In the late 1970s, Seiden set out to test the notion of inevitability in jumping suicides. Obtaining a Police Department list of all would-be jumpers who were thwarted from leaping off the Golden Gate between 1937 and 1971 — an astonishing 515 individuals in all — he painstakingly culled death-certificate records to see how many had subsequently “completed.” His report, “Where Are They Now?” remains a landmark in the study of suicide, for what he found was that just 6 percent of those pulled off the bridge went on to kill themselves. Even allowing for suicides that might have been mislabeled as accidents only raised the total to 10 percent.

source: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/magazine/06suicide-t.html?_r=2&pagewanted=print&

Most suicides are spur of the moment decisions, given adequate contemplation most people will reconsider. You can talk all you want about the honour in killing yourself, but I feel you're discussing an entirely unrelated topic. The object then isn't killing oneself but in the reason for it. This does not ennoble suicide by proxy. Calling it a 'cowards way out' is a bit of a cop out because confronting the vast scary beyond doesn't seem cowardly- however thats only examining one side of the coin. Making a rash decision to terminate your existence isn't cowardly, its just stupid--> istaros quote.

Terry Pratchett has alzheimers and has made a documentary about suicide, I would consider him among the heroic few who are killing themselves unwillingly because circumstances force their hand. His attitude is 'heroic' because he isn't shying from his situation, he isn't heroic because he is contemplating killing himself. That is similar to conflating the means and the end. Death is sad, there is nothing to celebrate about it, one can accept it however. 

Death creates nothing.

10
Interzone / Re: An important book
« on: May 31, 2013, 03:34:16 PM »
Dune by Frank Herbert did it for me. I could probably write an essay on how amazing this book is, I'd use my soul as ink, oh holy moses the pages delight me so. 

There is a strong Nietzschean influence, profound wisdom, tumultous plot and dialogue. It's the kind of book I can read a page of and then read and reread again wringing continually more meaning and joy from it.  Frank Herbert was one of those wonderful rational types riding the psychedelia wave of the sixties (see also Phillipe K Dicke) without succumbing to the bullshit culture surrounding that scene. I cannot recommend this book enough and hold it in similar esteem as Houellebecq's The Map and the Territory.


I quite enjoyed The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Mostly because I find it tragically beautiful, the prose is well, pretty amazing. The words are beautiful on the page, melodious, if that makes sense. And the story is rendered more poignant knowing the authors eventual fate. I'm fairly sure I gained something from reading this book beyond the experience, something hard to define, a kind desire to foster a gauged dissociation from the immediacy of emotional wants. Your mileage may vary, actually your kilometerage may vary, mate, but I still recommend this book because it's a beautiful thing to read.

Also The Map and the Territory by Michel Houellebecq was amazing, I'm not writing a summation of it until I read it again, suffice to say I feel compelled to read the rest of his works, he is incredibly metal, and by lord I've recommended him to all my intelligent friends.

11
Interzone / Re: Creating a new religion
« on: May 31, 2013, 03:04:32 PM »
I presume our holy religion will provide lysergic acid for the masses, it's the humane thing to do.

12
Interzone / Re: Suicide
« on: May 31, 2013, 03:02:16 PM »
I agree with Istaros' quote. Killing oneself is generally a sign of being a raging faggot.

13
Metal / Re: Black Metal with Death Metal vocals
« on: December 27, 2012, 06:13:50 AM »
Graveland has a restrained and to my ears tasteful vocal approach, eschewing cheesy theatrics and opting to LARP instead. His later works employ a deeper spoken growl which might work for you. Here's a link to Fire Chariot of Destruction from, uhh, Fire Chariot of Destruction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UnZ-LZN1EE

Edit - Also Varathron, Belial and Molested.

14
Interzone / Re: Listenin' to poop music
« on: October 16, 2012, 02:27:39 PM »
There is a decent spiel about the merits of pop music in the book The Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse. The female protagonist argues that pure serious listening to the exclusion of all else precludes certain experiences. In the book its a toss up between Der Steppenvulf being alone in his room listening to classical or dancing with young women at a jazz club.

Pop music is largely poop and I think it's worthless to use it as a measuring stick, however I occasionally listen to light stuff like Okkervil River, David Bowie or Parov Stelar because unrelenting atonal frostbitten rotting grimness can be insalubrious, man.

15
Metal / Re: Albums you used to bother with
« on: September 09, 2012, 06:56:10 AM »
I used to adore the pants off of Beyond Sanctorum by Therion. However I keep getting hung up on all the block head chugga chugga filler riffs. Half of this album is solid gold, the rest is aggravatingly pedestrian

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