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Messages - Cynical

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1
I can't believe any band would pick a name that when spoken sounds like "ass fagger".

2
Metal / Re: Best Of: In Retrospect
« on: September 01, 2013, 11:43:31 PM »
Albums from those lists I listen to these days, by year:
2008
Averse Sefira Advent Parallax
Bahimiron Southern Nihilizm

2009
The Chasm Farseeing the Paranormal Abysm
Profanatica Profanatitas De Domonatia
Beherit Engram

2010
Blaspherian Allegiance to the Will of Damnation

2011
Morbus 666 Mortuus Cultus
Bahimiron Rebel Hymns of Left-Handed Terror
Blaspherian Infernal Warriors of Death
Apocalypse Command Damnation Scythes of Invincible Abomination

2012
Demoncy Enthroned is the Night
Incantation Vanquish in Vengeance
Thevetat Disease to Divide
Desecresy The Doom Skeptron

Things that are not on that list but are from those years that I listen to:
2009
Aosoth Ashes of Angels
Cruciamentum Convocation of Crawling Chaos

2010
Weapon From the Devil's Tomb
Profanatica Disgusting Blasphemies Against God
Autopsy The Tomb Within
Perdition Temple Edict of the Antichrist Elect
Dececresy Arches of Entropy

2011
Autopsy Macabre Eternal
Maveth Breath of an Abomination
Venenum Venenum
Gevurah Anno MMXI
Inquisition Ominous Doctrines of the Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm

2012
Weapon Embers and Revelations
Doombringer Sevenfold Pestilence
Maveth Coils of the Black Earth
Vorum Poisoned Void
Pseudogod Deathwomb Catachesis

Things from the above years that are good, but I don't ever listen to because of better options from the same band:
Birth A.D. Stillbirth of a Nation (excellent EP, obsoleted by the full-length)
Imprecation Jehovah Denied (excellent demo, obsoleted by the full-length)
Katharsis Fourth Reich (good, but VVorld VVithout End is the one I always reach for by this band)
Cruciamentum Suspended in Desolation (the demo was better)
All of the Master albums (good, but the s/t is still the best)
Asphyx Death The Brutal Way (good, but The Rack is better)

3
Interzone / Re: Pop culture's greatest (s)hits
« on: August 24, 2013, 06:55:20 PM »
I don't think I've ever heard anything as dumb as DJ Assault:

Ass 'n Titties:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OgG9BW9TQE

Yo Relatives:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKO7P_4BCYk

Dick by the Pound:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vibhpo925xo

Fuck You Ho, Don't Call Me No More:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6RAeImD4ys

4
Interzone / Re: Reaction speed.
« on: May 16, 2013, 04:24:30 AM »
It implies a faster reaction time than nervous transmission speed.
Not quite, but close, and still clearly impossible.

The time for an object to fall .0254 meters (one inch) is .07 seconds.

Signals commanding conscious action travel at 20 m/s.

This means that, ignoring the time for the light waves to travel from the ruler to Crow's eyes, provided that the distance from his eyes to the tip of his fingers is less than 1.4 meters, he's within nerve transmission speed.

Without predicting when the ruler will drop, one inch is still clearly bullshit.  World-class sprinters have a reaction time of over 0.15 seconds (Usain Bolt's world-record reaction time off the blocks was 0.165 seconds); in that time, the ruler would fall 0.1334025 meters (5.3 inches).

5
Metal / Re: Vorum - Poisoned Void [2013]
« on: May 12, 2013, 01:58:25 AM »
The Vorum album is like a death metal version of the first Watain.

It's pop candy-metal, but still a good listen, with a combination of haunting darkness in its melodic lines and energetic destruction from its rhythm section.  I'd choose it over a million 3-chord "war metal" bands any day.

Lantern... eh, I really can't do that album at all.  Boring-ass doom metal colliding into speed-metal, with the most off-putting vocals in the history of the genre.

6
Interzone / Re: Proposed forum reorganization
« on: May 12, 2013, 01:43:27 AM »
My unsolicited opinion:
Nuke chasm altogether.  People who want idle chatter can go to their social media pages.
As for Commerce vs. News, the following litmus test: is the band that's advertising/being advertised good?  If so, News.  If not, Commerce. 
Keep Audiofile as is, for obvious reasons.

7
Metal / Re: Bands worth hearing thread
« on: April 19, 2013, 06:35:35 AM »
NON
God and Beast is incredible.  "Lucifer, Morning Star", "The Law", and "Between Venus and Mars" are some of the best electronic songs ever.  "Total War" is also great, of course, but it pales next to those three.

The rest is good but not essential.  If you want more, your best bets are "Children of the Black Sun" and "Back to Mono".

8
Metal / Re: There's a new Black Sabbath song
« on: April 19, 2013, 06:30:09 AM »
Wow, that's goddamn boring.

Better than expected, though, I have to admit.

9
Metal / Re: Graveland Memory and Destiny remake
« on: February 09, 2013, 05:16:43 AM »
Well, at Darken isn't destroying one of his good albums (by which I mean everything up to and including "Following the Voice of Blood") by re-recording it, like most bands who do the stupid re-recording thing do.


10
Metal / Voivod: "Mechanical Mind" [new song]
« on: September 28, 2012, 06:23:18 PM »
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/14327-mechanical-mind/

If this is representative of the quality of their upcoming album, then it's going to be one of the best of the last decade.

11
Metal / Perdition Temple- Edict of the Antichrist Elect
« on: August 29, 2012, 05:57:49 AM »
In an attempt to atone for exposing you all to the faggotry that is "Amorphis doing acoustic jazz covers of songs from their first album", I will tell you that you need to listen to this post-Angelcorpse project from Gene Palubicki.  Now.

"Edict of the Antichrist Elect" by Palubicki's new band, Perdition Temple, is supposedly material that was written to be the next Angelcorpse album that was never realized because of the band's second dissolution, and some aspects of the album are recognizably Angelcorpse, such as nearly constant speed, militaristic march-blasting percussion, and Morbid Angel inspired high-speed riffs, but there is a major difference in how songs are constructed.  Whereas Angelcorpse tended to bow to the heavy metal need for one or two ear-grabbing, catchy riffs to define a song, with other riffs acting as support between fist-pumping choruses and the song's "iconic" riffs, Edict of the Antichrist Elect takes a more pure death metal approach, with no "catchy" riffs or choruses and more intricate song structures, with frequent riff changes, sometimes gradual, and sometimes jarring; a favorite tactic of the band is to build up gradual riff changes before violently slamming back to an earlier riff.  Structuring songs with no clearly "iconic" passages results in the album requiring careful attention, and being confusing to listen to at first, but the overall effect ends up being more savage than even Angelcorpse's fiercest moments, since there's not an easily hummable moment always around the corner; rather, there is just more jarring angularity, both at a structural level and at a riff level.

Listen to this album.  Now.

(Obligatory youtube link of a song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RcWI3XRtTw )

12
Metal / Re: WTF happened to Amorphis?
« on: August 29, 2012, 05:16:18 AM »
The Karelian Isthmus/Privilege of Evil is pretty awesome but fuck these guys.  I clicked on the link and saw acoustic guitars and a chubby dude blowing a flute and I instantly closed it.  Cynical, I'm almost pissed off that you would alert us to such gayness.   >:(
Oh, you missed the "best" parts, like the chick smiling into the camera while shaking a mariachi, and the singer (whose name I don't actually know) "singing" one of the riffs from late in the song with a jazz-style "la la la la lie lie lie".

Also, the crowd is hilarious.  Especially the goth chick who nods along in a desperate attempt to look like she cares at all, even though it's clear that she's bored out of her mind.

13
Metal / WTF happened to Amorphis?
« on: August 27, 2012, 01:18:43 PM »

14
Metal / Re: Chthe'ilist - Occult Death Metal from Quebec
« on: August 11, 2012, 10:12:36 PM »
This is amazing.

Get a full-length out, and come play some shows in Texas!

15
Metal / Re: Demigod has returned
« on: July 01, 2012, 07:55:47 PM »
I believe them, based on their main songwriter coming back into the fold.

FYI, he wasn't on Shadow Mechanics or that album with the goatse album cover.

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