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Messages - ASBO

1 ... 82 [83]
Interzone / Re: IQ
« on: December 06, 2007, 03:03:59 PM »
I dont see why peepul want to kill the dumb. Under 120 isnt so dumb. There are lot of good people under 120, liek mother Teresa and Einstain.

If you kill all the dumb peeple u will have to clean ur own toilets and mow ur own lawns. Thats bad.

I might be technically an imbecile, but even i can see that killin the stupid is immoral and bad. Your lawn will never fourgive you.

Metal / Re: Metal is 100% derived from classical
« on: December 06, 2007, 02:58:56 PM »
What does metal add to your life ?

It drowns out the screams of my victims. For that I'm eternally grateful!

Interzone / Re: Why are metalheads fucking useless
« on: December 06, 2007, 02:58:14 PM »
I don't know what you fags are talking about, but I just beat the Nazis on World of Warcraft and I'm on this blog that's going to solve cancer with civil rights. Yep, I am one hip cat, that's true.

Interzone / Re: Brahmins and Kshatriyas of the spirit
« on: December 06, 2007, 02:57:28 PM »
We should arrange castes by how funny and ironic people are.

At the very top, we can have the entertainers. They work for the large movie studios and so are totally ironic in that they are getting paid to take money from idiots.

Then come the hipsters. These are the irony warriors of the population. They have no money, and no clue, but they are able to start their own progressive grindcore bands with emo and blues influences, and so will always be unique.

Finally, there are the wiggers. This is everyone else, from the least ironic homeless person to a perpetually non-ironic banker or pornography whorelet. Their job is to do their jobs and earn more money than the other groups, so they can be ironically hip in the end.

Interzone / Re: alien origins of scandinavian metal
« on: December 06, 2007, 02:55:11 PM »
Until one day, a band called Dimmu Borgir, reached the peak of this art by composing the first black gay metal.

As has been noted before, you can't blame Dimmu Borgir on the faggots. Those cum-breathed, dick-inhaling queers may be experts in faggotry, but even their bum-poking shit-feasting cum-guzzling perversity could not encompass the sheer weight of faggotry that Dimmu Borgir possesses.

In fact, Dimmu Borgir is so faggoted they transcend homosexuality... they are more like 11-year-old girls with stickers and a scrapbook.

Interzone / Re: "US shoppers killed in gun rampage "
« on: December 06, 2007, 02:53:32 PM »
Morons will kill morons,
In malls across the land,
Killing for a discount,
Something I don't understand...

Interzone / Re: Metaphysical intelligence
« on: December 06, 2007, 02:51:30 PM »
However, it SHOULD do its best to account for as much reality as possible, shouldn't it?

What part of killing dumb people is unrealistic?

Did I find the retired schoolteachers forum instead of a metal forum?

"Kill all pedophiles," that's too simplistic, we should give them cheese and acccounts which can post to 4chan. I know I'd want that if I accidentally sodomized a young boy, or several, or maybe took photos of myself anally splitting a 4-year-old girl before I buried her cooling body in a shallow grave by the roadside.

Did you know that the ancient Greeks practiced pedophilia? We should give pedophiles medals instead, because some of them are geniuses.

Interzone / Re: Why are metalheads fucking useless
« on: December 05, 2007, 01:40:50 PM »
Are you looking for a pat on the back or something?

Is that hipster shit necessary?

I knew a hipster once who was in charge of nuclear weapons. In an alternate universe. A very blackened, glowing one.

Metal / Re: Graveland and Summoning similarities
« on: December 05, 2007, 01:16:21 PM »
Lyrically, both Graveland and Summoning express heroic ideal and some basic tenets of fascism- Darken states them openly, Summoning encase them in Nordicist metaphors.

As seen here, Summoning are anti-Nazis, but this doesn't mean they're not on some level pro-heroic and pro-Nordic.

Of course, the most obvious explanation is that they're using racialism as a metaphor for something else. Strong bodies, strong minds, hard cocks. Or something.

Interzone / Re: Paganism, Nazism, Satanism
« on: December 04, 2007, 05:58:45 PM »

I was looking at Tyr I and II on amazon a little while ago considering whether or not to buy them. Any further feedback you could give on them?

These new right texts might help, although we all know that being new right is like being emo but you wear a tie.

Interzone / Re: IQ
« on: December 04, 2007, 04:16:15 PM »
Free land on the moon! Free transportation! Sign up now! Room for 6.5 billion of you! Don't wait!

Interzone / Re: alien origins of scandinavian metal
« on: December 04, 2007, 04:09:18 PM »
The UFOs came down and said thus to the Scandinavians, an odd tribe of albino Africans who live in the far north.

"If you connect two distortion boxes serially,
If you adopt the style of Motorhead and Incantation,
If you make melodies like ABBA,
If you write songs like Dead Can Dance,
And growl like a Republican,
You will inherit the earth."

Then they got back in their glittery pink spacecraft and zoomed deep into the bowels of the universe, where they live on a planet shaped like a TV set where everyone pleasures each other Bonobo-style while writing C++ code to do ray-tracing.

It's true you guys.

Interzone / Re: Chuck Schuldiner died of AIDS
« on: December 04, 2007, 04:06:28 PM »
Metallica, Load and Reload were products of greed, Spiritual Healing and other post-Scream Bloody Gore and Leprosy albums were products of an egomaniac    

But Chuck did give the best head in metal. David Vincent had his Azagthoth, and everyone in Vader had Doc, but no one made a pink cock erect like Chuck. True, as the AIDS infested his throat it made it hard for him to deep throat, but even as he lay there rotting, stinking of AZT and covered with Kaposi's sarcoma, Chuck would signal with two fingers when a willing donor came into the room. All I can offer in addition to that is the fact that no sex will ever compare to colostomy hole love, especially when the hole is fresh and supple after a well-greased movement.

We will never forget you, Chuck. Every time I hear your name my prostate aches, both for your tender heart-shaped ass and that incredibly thin, probing member we shared many times. It is heartbreaking how many things bring Chuck to mind. The sound of heavy metal. The flavor of Taco Bell food on the road. The scent of semen. The world lost not only a great musician, but a great lover, when Chuck died.

To say Chuck was gay is incorrect. He wasn't gay, he was just open-minded, and he sought anal sex from men, boys, girls and animals alike. Anal was not his favorite. His favorite was the blowjob, and he liked to be held afterwards, with someone stroking his hair and saying, "Chuck you are king of the world."

I will never sell the copy of Leprosy (80 grain vinyl) he left me at our last meeting. It is battered now, and reeks faintly of manpoo, and maybe it does have a few suspicious smears, but it is all I have of him. That and the memories. Those gushing, sticky, illicit, clandestine memories... Oh Chuck I miss you more than I can say.

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