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Topics - Master Cthulhu

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Metal / Why do we all hate -core music?
« on: August 18, 2010, 12:30:02 AM »
And why is it shit most of the time?

1. Why do we, as metalheads, hate -core music so much?

Is it because of the fans? Are they just annoying and we don't want to be associated with them, or is it REALLY about the music?

All of us will disregard a deathcore band just because of the genre. There seems to be a sort of "war" between "true" metalheads and people who like Deathcore. Though, it usually seems like the metalheads are the ones attacking the deathcore fans. Youtube videos, forums, Facebook, whatever. Metalheads are always attacking deathcore fans that did nothing to provoke it. They don't fight for their music as much as we fight for ours, so what's the point?

We are proud of our music, proud of heavy metal. Too proud. We go around, slamming anything that is -core without even listening to the music, even if it may be good. Metal gives us an empowering feeling that we feel we have to show off to everyone else, even if we make ourselves look like idiots. Do we care? Not at all. The general public think that spikes and vests are "SATANIC!", which they are not, so we are misunderstood and we are tired of it, yet still proud of our music, and attack other people who we don't give the chance to understand. We all listened to Korn at one point.

2. Why is it shit, most of the time?

But not always. There are some great -core bands I have come across. Most of them are either hardcore punk or early screamo music, though I've found some great Deathcore bands. Wait, I know why it sucks!

DROP Q: 0-0-0-000-0-0-0-000

Yep.

It sounds like monkeys wrote the songs. I like monkeys. If I had a monkey, I would teach it to count cards. Then, I would unleash it into a casino, and if somebody shouts "Hey! Who's monkey is that?!" I would say "That's not my monkey."

Then, when they look at it's collar, and find my name on it, I would run out of the casino. I would go to my camel which I would've had valet parked. I wouldn't pay the valet guyu because technically he did not parked my car, he only parked my camel. I love my camel. I drive it to work in the mornings. Since parking is very limited, I take it up to the office with me on most days. Usually I take it up the stairs but if I forgot to feed it last month I take it up with me in the elevator.

Since I have a cubicle, it's a tight fit, especially when it has to take poops. One time, I was at work playing pokemon on my computer, and since I gave the Camel my left-over Volcano Tacos from Taco Bell the last night, it took a massive diarrhea right on my keyboard. My keyboard still works, though sometimes when I press down a key it stays stuck, an sometimes I pull out bits of taco shell from it.

Since then, I always face my camel's rear end towards the door, so that way I can play pokemon without the smell and also greet my boss by telling him psychologically that I'm doing work instead of cleaning camel shit off of my keyboard. At the end of the day, I leave without telling the janitor about the mound of shit at the entrance to my cubicle. I'm sure he'll have no trouble finding it. He always tells me to get rid of the camel. I always ask him why, but he just starts yelling at me. The other employees don't like him either, which makes me said because he is such a great companion.

We often hang out of the weekends, going to pubs, but sometimes just sharing a bottle of champagne at the house. I once tried to get a girlfriend, but she ran off when I brought her home and she saw a camel in my kitchen, drinking champagne. I can understand why she may have been frightened, because it's not everyday that you see a camel inside of an apartment complex, but since I have recently painted flames on the side of my minivan I would expect any girl to want to stay with me. I guess there just isn't enough flames to counterbalance living with a camel.

I really should get another pet. I recently bought a dog, and it turns out she was pregnant! It had 10 little puppies, and they all run around the apartment complex. The staff said I need to get rid of them, but the dogs are just so cute that I think I'll keep them. When the dogs are older, I will enter them in a dogsled race across Africa. To prepare for this, I have started training them at a young age. I chase them around the apartment, clashing together pots and pans to scare them, and that builds up leg muscle and they learn to outgrow fear. My entire floor has been sending me e-mails as of late about "noise" complaints, and even though I was confused about it, I have taken egg cartons and cemented them all around the walls of my apartment. That way, at least 40% of the sound will get blocked out.

I am so confident about winning the sled dog race, that I have sold all of my furniture so that I can have more practice space. With the money I win from the sled race, I will buy new furniture. I have never seen wiener dogs in an alaskan sled race before, but because of the early-on master training I am letting them have the opportunity to endure, I think my chances are at a solid 110%.

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