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Messages - Cynical

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1
Chasm / Re: Reaction speed.
« on: May 16, 2013, 04:24:30 AM »
It implies a faster reaction time than nervous transmission speed.
Not quite, but close, and still clearly impossible.

The time for an object to fall .0254 meters (one inch) is .07 seconds.

Signals commanding conscious action travel at 20 m/s.

This means that, ignoring the time for the light waves to travel from the ruler to Crow's eyes, provided that the distance from his eyes to the tip of his fingers is less than 1.4 meters, he's within nerve transmission speed.

Without predicting when the ruler will drop, one inch is still clearly bullshit.  World-class sprinters have a reaction time of over 0.15 seconds (Usain Bolt's world-record reaction time off the blocks was 0.165 seconds); in that time, the ruler would fall 0.1334025 meters (5.3 inches).

2
Metal / Re: Vorum - Poisoned Void [2013]
« on: May 12, 2013, 01:58:25 AM »
The Vorum album is like a death metal version of the first Watain.

It's pop candy-metal, but still a good listen, with a combination of haunting darkness in its melodic lines and energetic destruction from its rhythm section.  I'd choose it over a million 3-chord "war metal" bands any day.

Lantern... eh, I really can't do that album at all.  Boring-ass doom metal colliding into speed-metal, with the most off-putting vocals in the history of the genre.

3
Chasm / Re: Proposed forum reorganization
« on: May 12, 2013, 01:43:27 AM »
My unsolicited opinion:
Nuke chasm altogether.  People who want idle chatter can go to their social media pages.
As for Commerce vs. News, the following litmus test: is the band that's advertising/being advertised good?  If so, News.  If not, Commerce. 
Keep Audiofile as is, for obvious reasons.

4
Metal / Re: Bands worth hearing thread
« on: April 19, 2013, 06:35:35 AM »
NON
God and Beast is incredible.  "Lucifer, Morning Star", "The Law", and "Between Venus and Mars" are some of the best electronic songs ever.  "Total War" is also great, of course, but it pales next to those three.

The rest is good but not essential.  If you want more, your best bets are "Children of the Black Sun" and "Back to Mono".

5
Metal / Re: There's a new Black Sabbath song
« on: April 19, 2013, 06:30:09 AM »
Wow, that's goddamn boring.

Better than expected, though, I have to admit.

6
Metal / Re: Graveland Memory and Destiny remake
« on: February 09, 2013, 05:16:43 AM »
Well, at Darken isn't destroying one of his good albums (by which I mean everything up to and including "Following the Voice of Blood") by re-recording it, like most bands who do the stupid re-recording thing do.


7
Metal / Voivod: "Mechanical Mind" [new song]
« on: September 28, 2012, 06:23:18 PM »
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/14327-mechanical-mind/

If this is representative of the quality of their upcoming album, then it's going to be one of the best of the last decade.

8
Metal / Perdition Temple- Edict of the Antichrist Elect
« on: August 29, 2012, 05:57:49 AM »
In an attempt to atone for exposing you all to the faggotry that is "Amorphis doing acoustic jazz covers of songs from their first album", I will tell you that you need to listen to this post-Angelcorpse project from Gene Palubicki.  Now.

"Edict of the Antichrist Elect" by Palubicki's new band, Perdition Temple, is supposedly material that was written to be the next Angelcorpse album that was never realized because of the band's second dissolution, and some aspects of the album are recognizably Angelcorpse, such as nearly constant speed, militaristic march-blasting percussion, and Morbid Angel inspired high-speed riffs, but there is a major difference in how songs are constructed.  Whereas Angelcorpse tended to bow to the heavy metal need for one or two ear-grabbing, catchy riffs to define a song, with other riffs acting as support between fist-pumping choruses and the song's "iconic" riffs, Edict of the Antichrist Elect takes a more pure death metal approach, with no "catchy" riffs or choruses and more intricate song structures, with frequent riff changes, sometimes gradual, and sometimes jarring; a favorite tactic of the band is to build up gradual riff changes before violently slamming back to an earlier riff.  Structuring songs with no clearly "iconic" passages results in the album requiring careful attention, and being confusing to listen to at first, but the overall effect ends up being more savage than even Angelcorpse's fiercest moments, since there's not an easily hummable moment always around the corner; rather, there is just more jarring angularity, both at a structural level and at a riff level.

Listen to this album.  Now.

(Obligatory youtube link of a song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RcWI3XRtTw )

9
Metal / Re: WTF happened to Amorphis?
« on: August 29, 2012, 05:16:18 AM »
The Karelian Isthmus/Privilege of Evil is pretty awesome but fuck these guys.  I clicked on the link and saw acoustic guitars and a chubby dude blowing a flute and I instantly closed it.  Cynical, I'm almost pissed off that you would alert us to such gayness.   >:(
Oh, you missed the "best" parts, like the chick smiling into the camera while shaking a mariachi, and the singer (whose name I don't actually know) "singing" one of the riffs from late in the song with a jazz-style "la la la la lie lie lie".

Also, the crowd is hilarious.  Especially the goth chick who nods along in a desperate attempt to look like she cares at all, even though it's clear that she's bored out of her mind.

10
Metal / WTF happened to Amorphis?
« on: August 27, 2012, 01:18:43 PM »

11
Commerce / Re: Chthe'ilist - Occult Death Metal from Quebec
« on: August 11, 2012, 10:12:36 PM »
This is amazing.

Get a full-length out, and come play some shows in Texas!

12
Metal / Re: Demigod has returned
« on: July 01, 2012, 07:55:47 PM »
I believe them, based on their main songwriter coming back into the fold.

FYI, he wasn't on Shadow Mechanics or that album with the goatse album cover.

13
Chasm / Re: Poetry Time
« on: June 30, 2012, 05:24:38 PM »
Rip the sacred flesh
Sodomize the holy asshole
Drink the red blood of the mother of earth
Masturbation on the dead body of christ
The king of Jews is dead
and so are the lies
Vomit on the host of Heaven
Masturbate on the throne of God
Break the seals of angels
Drink the sweet blood of Christ
Taste the flesh of the priest
Sodomize holy nuns
The king of Jews is a liar
The Heavens will burn
Dethrone the son of God
God is dead
Holyness is gone
Purity is gone
Prayers are burned
Covered in black shit
Rape the holy ghost
Unclean birth of Jesus Christ
Heaven will fall
Fuck the church
Fuck Christ
Fuck the Virgin
Fuck the gods of Heaven
Fuck the name of Jesus

14
Wow, that version of the title track is awful.  Dropping the treble to 0 and re-recording the drums and solos to be flashier is a terrible idea.  Also, I have no idea who is doing the vocals on the re-recorded parts, but they're no where near as good as the originals.    Hendrik Mobus' singing voice had a haunting nostalgic quality that suited these tracks much better much better.

15
If the youtube sample is to be believed, this is a downgrade.

No real surprise, given what Absurd has become.

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