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Messages - diesel

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271
Chasm / Re: Thinking about death.
« on: April 23, 2011, 12:00:36 AM »
I don't know what happens after death, so i can't formulate a belief because belief requires some certainty. I'm inclined to think based on information we've gathered empirically with our senses that you decompose, and life goes on around you. However, i cant be so foolish as to think that i KNOW this. i haven't researched fields like parapsychology. the idea that there are multiple dimensions shows that reality is MUCH stranger than we know.
My mind pretty much follows a circle of thought from existence to death so much that i sometimes get depressed to the point of inactivity. then some other days it switches off because i get back to myself and endorphins and all that shit, but any given moment it creeps up on me agagin. It weirds me the fuck out that one day i won't be able to see with these eyes, to feel the wind, to consume water, to hear music... i just won't exist at all. GONE. just a dna vessel that's served its purpose. I have a suspicion that people are really not aware of death, or have become so engrossed in their ego and the biochemical prison of their body that they feel immortalized by their accomplishments.

I definitely agree lots of people won't feel so tough about death when they have to face it at last. In my view it's great that these questions are tormenting you, because keeping it bottled up is a step in the wrong direction.

So for the first step I would say to pursue Truth ruthlessly, wherever it may lead. If reality turns out to be a monstrous creation then you can become the meanest mother fucker and seek to do evil. Lots of people do that. But maybe you'll find a different path. That's not for me to decide, I just want to see people go, go down some path, just not stagnate, because in fact change is the only constant so if you think you're standing still then you're regressing in the worst possible way, you're denying logic itself, learning to live out of your mind in a weak world of disgustingly indulgent make-believe, and as you age you start to forget things and you get senile real fast, very spiritually unhealthy.

As a catalyst for the first step, there's always something for me to point to. The only thing holding you back is an illusion! In reality you're already falling into the vortex, you just don't know it yet. You say: "I don't know what happens after death, so i can't formulate a belief because belief requires some certainty." But come on man, you're KIDDING yourself. How do you know that what you're experiencing isn't just all a dream in your own head? How do you know I'm a real person at the other end of this interwebz who's replying to your thread? And also, how do you know that reality is going to continue, so that there's even a point in making another reply for 'me' to read tomorrow? Certainty is absolutely the key, and the key is to realize you don't have it at all! You fear of death is based on premises which are totally unfounded in the first place, in the sense of existential dilemma, and if you want my advice, only by taking a great big step back and tackling these broader issues can you make true progress in life and, indeed, also with this question of death.

I mean hell I think you realize there's no answer to your question, right? It's pretty fucking straight forward, total non-existence is the most horrible idea imaginable, and the very thought that's it's a possibility when you die makes you furious. So come on, take a step back, and consider that you have NO idea if the default state of things is mortality or immortality. You have NO idea about anything. For all you know you could be living in a hell dimension, or the situation could be really dire and demanding your immediate attention. YOU DON'T KNOW! If you can manage to discard all your safety blankets, all the assumptions society tells you about what's real, then you can confront the real dilemma of existential uncertainty head on. And indeed then when you find the answers they won't be marginally interesting to you like they would be for an armchair philosopher, no, to you they'll be your whole foundation because you have nothing else. You can't get it if you're not ready (willing?) to see it.

So I say take a dive off the deep end into the vortex. And I realize I can't expect you to believe me that you'll be OK, that everything will be OK in the end. All I'm doing here is MAKING you dive, because if you've grasped the logic of my words here, then already you've seen some things you can't turn away from anymore! Or that is, you can turn away from it if you want, but I guarantee it won't be healthy for you... hahaha!
wow man...thanks for that! it will take a while to let all of it sink in. there's a part of me that believes i'll be okay. I've developed an endurance, i've genuinely been able to disregard society looking down on a person like myself ,put a sort of wall up to block out all the sounds. Sure, sometimes that wall shakes or seems unstable because there's that human sensitivity you can never quite silence, but for the most part i manage.. I did this not out of ego-centricity but out of realizing that all of life as we see it is extremely limited, same goes for any animal. Rats see differently, bugs see very differently. Very well someone could look at all of us under a microcope and see us running around, fighting it out for survival, but we can't imagine it like that because we are an organic species and survival is our only goal.

So instead, I look at life like this :


272
Chasm / Re: Thinking about death.
« on: April 19, 2011, 07:52:48 PM »
My mind pretty much follows a circle of thought from existence to death so much that i sometimes get depressed to the point of inactivity.
It's probably the inactivity that leads to the depression, which leads to the depressive death pondering. In my experience people who have consistently active lives rarely get depressed. I'm sure it's no coincidence that in our sedentary society, depression is common if not the norm.
it's the reverse for me, depression leads to inactivity. I make some excuse to avoid a social outing just because i need to think.
Depression in our society comes from high stress jobs, status anxiety, less close friendships, etc. The norm is to be happy and productive and to consume regularly. That's why they tell you to seek help only when depression starts to interfere with your professional and social life.

273
Chasm / Sartre's "Nausea"
« on: April 19, 2011, 07:25:42 PM »
Probably the best book I've ever read.

Here's the cliffnotes, beware of spoilers..

Today I did nothing.
I feel kinda sick
Today I did nothing.
Conversation with lonely person.
Today I did nothing.
Sick again
Another conversation with lonely person.
Today I did nothing.
Nothing again..more sickness
OMG EXISTENCE...
Doesn't anyone else see it? YOU EXIST..asldkfasiokfask!!!!!!.
What now?
guess i'll create my own reality

End.

274
Chasm / Re: Thinking about death.
« on: April 19, 2011, 06:43:17 AM »
I don't know what happens after death, so i can't formulate a belief because belief requires some certainty. I'm inclined to think based on information we've gathered empirically with our senses that you decompose, and life goes on around you. However, i cant be so foolish as to think that i KNOW this. i haven't researched fields like parapsychology. the idea that there are multiple dimensions shows that reality is MUCH stranger than we know.
My mind pretty much follows a circle of thought from existence to death so much that i sometimes get depressed to the point of inactivity. then some other days it switches off because i get back to myself and endorphins and all that shit, but any given moment it creeps up on me agagin. It weirds me the fuck out that one day i won't be able to see with these eyes, to feel the wind, to consume water, to hear music... i just won't exist at all. GONE. just a dna vessel that's served its purpose. I have a suspicion that people are really not aware of death, or have become so engrossed in their ego and the biochemical prison of their body that they feel immortalized by their accomplishments.

275
Chasm / Re: Altruism doesn't exist; teamwork does
« on: April 19, 2011, 02:08:26 AM »
yep, "us vs them" is how people function

276
Chasm / Re: Thinking about death.
« on: April 17, 2011, 08:07:29 PM »
I live for every revelation basically.

See, now, to my eyes this is a perfect reason to go on living. Despite how shitty people can be, there is so much in life to do, so much to discover, and so much to experience.

OP, it seems you have aspects of a healthy mindset, you just seem to doubt yourself. Chin up, chest out, and don't let the boring suckers and wimps get to you.
Nah man this is NOT a self esteem issue.

277
Chasm / Re: Thinking about death.
« on: April 17, 2011, 05:00:49 PM »
m/m

278
Chasm / Re: Thinking about death.
« on: April 17, 2011, 04:58:33 PM »
I would suggest stop thinking about you and your life and think about something more important.  Maybe something that you believe in. Maybe the needs of someone close to you.  This is like going to see a movie and not paying attention to any of it, because you are afraid that the movie will be over at any minute. 
yes i do feel sad when a song ends.
I dunno, i'm not really self oriented...i've experienced almost a kind of ego death, where i put myself last..i live on minimal possessions, and all i really want for myself is to understand stuff more extensively and get rid of my own biases, and to give and help.. even if people parallel to me are doing damage at way faster rates . I always wonder if there's a point of willing my brain to synthesize bursts of happiness... What exactly is the point of these little fragments of joy accumulating over time? Is the brain only doing this to get me to stay alive and breed? it's a really "biological" feeling when you realize that you are not that much different from a tree and you look around and see organic life for what it is.
Other people fill their lives with leisure and breeding. Watching movies, sports, video games, listening to music, going to bars/clubs, fornicating. They focus on themselves,
Distraction still seems to be the only solution, to get the mind off death. (not just my own but the deaths of other people)

"The vanity of existence is revealed in the whole form existence assumes: in the infiniteness of time and space contrasted with the finiteness of the individual in both; in the fleeting present as the sole form in which actuality exists; in the contingency and relativity of all things; in continual becoming without being; in continual desire without satisfaction; in the continual frustration of striving of which life consists. Time and that perishability of all things existing in time that time itself brings about is simply the form under which the will to live, which as thing in itself is imperishable, reveals to itself the vanity of its striving. Time is that by virtue of which everything becomes nothingness in our hands and loses all real value."

"Yet what a difference there is between our beginning and our end. We begin in the madness of carnal desire and the transport of voluptuousness, we end in the dissolution of all our parts and the musty stench of corpses. And die road from the one to the other too goes, in regard to our well-being and enjoyment of life, steadily downhill: happily dreaming childhood, exultant youth, toil-filled years of manhood, infirm and often wretched old age, the torment of the last illness and finally the throes of death - does it not look as if existence were an error the consequences of which gradually grow more and more manifest. We shall do best to think of life ...as a process of disillusionment: since this is, clearly enough, what everything that happens to us is calculated to produce. "

-Shopenhauer

What's keeping me going is that existence is fucking strange..The fact that i have my eyes open in this moment is bizarre to me. I live for every revelation basically.

279
Chasm / Re: Thinking about death.
« on: April 17, 2011, 02:54:48 AM »
You know the moment in Fight Club when brad pitt burns ed norton's hand and tells him to realize that one day he will die? This is how i feel on the regular. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this, I think about it when i'm outside...if i walk past cemetaries its a terrible sinking feeling. After dealing with all the dregs of our (currently completely commodified) lives this is where people end up...
I don't see this as a disease and would hate for Big pharma to capitalize off me. Death is obvious, and death to the best of our knowledge is certain. If a person can't ignore it, they'll obviously go ballistic. Depressed people are in treatment/confinement because depression and the idleness it produces does not do capitalistic society any good.

Yes thinking about death makes the body feel terrible, because the body wants to live, it still exists for the possibility of sex. you cant really talk to other people about this, because they are also organisms with a "will to live" due to biological tricks.
i don't socialize well because i find a lot of shit that people are enthused about really mundane, pointless, arbitrary. Sex is everyone's top priority, then after that comes survival(making groups for resources) and then entertainment (which can be dynamic because we have more folds in our brains than chimpanzees that play on monkeybars). Politics is difficult for me to take interest in, because the way i see it it's just people being partial to land masses, slanging shit at each other and demonstrating how far their empathy actually extends(not very)
Death and existence are the two things on my mind.
the way i see it the only thing left to do is to preoccupy myself with something like theoretical math or physics, learning about multiple dimensions and stuff of the like.

280
Chasm / Thinking about death.
« on: April 17, 2011, 12:06:35 AM »
how do you guys manage? People seem to be pre-occupied with bullshit. When i was younger i was great at distractin myself, but now i'm not. Distraction doesn't work so well anymore and it doesn't feel right. Almost everything reminds me of death. I think about death every 10 seconds. I don't tell people in real life, cause hell, they have finite time too, and why make them depressed?

281
Chasm / Re: Naked (mike leigh)
« on: April 16, 2011, 12:05:26 AM »
What movies do you guys know that are similar to this one?

282
Chasm / Re: Teen Paranormal Romance
« on: April 15, 2011, 11:35:37 PM »
I listen to some hip hop. *dodges stones* there is no better lyricist out there than K-rino, except maybe Saul Williams.

The reason mass production is so dumbed down is because it begins by tailoring material for ornamental people ages10-18. dumb shit songs, books, movies, etc. Of course this is an easy demographic to capitalize off. People older get sucked in to that garbage for some reason, and consume it also probably because it's everywhere you fucking look. It's tragic that we now have men 25 and older paying attention to the Kardashan show or Jersey shore.

283
Chasm / Re: Naked (mike leigh)
« on: April 09, 2011, 12:20:02 PM »
someone uploaded the whole thing to youtube if anyone's interested
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG2dkTUPzPI

284
Chasm / Re: Naked (mike leigh)
« on: April 09, 2011, 06:40:26 AM »
I've been a huge, huge fan of this movie for some years now. If I'm not mistaken, a lot of this dialogue was improvised, which makes it all the more brilliant to me. Rarely have I seen a movie with this kind of substance; it was practically shocking to see for the first time a film that's sole purpose wasn't to entertain or make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I definitely recommend this to anyone sick of the typical Hollywood diarrhea, but also more specifically to users of this forum who probably will identify with the protagonist in more than a few ways. Here's one of my favorite quotes from it:

Quote
Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. You've had nature explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it, so now you want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new as long as it's new as long as it flashes and fuckin' bleeps in forty fuckin' different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored.
that quote is great... i've quoted the ever living shit out of this movie
In day to day life people pity characters like johnny. They would recommend him a case worker, or some meds, or expect a mass shooting to come out of him. Not understanding a character of his sort is a line of thinking born out of late capitalism. It should make people sad about the state of mainstream thought, but instead they'll just think about how he should get a girlfriend, get a job, marry, have some kids, put them throgh college, retire, and die. He should strive to have his life play out like every feel-good movie out there.
Johnny, similar to the main character Sartre's "Nausea" understands existence, and the peculiarity of existence. Once that hits you, there's almost no way out of it except to create your own reality, or maybe transform this into art somehow.This could mean a very hard life of social rejection, socio-economic hard ships, uncontrollable mind states  and people looking down on you.

285
Chasm / Naked (mike leigh)
« on: April 08, 2011, 08:43:36 AM »
Not a movie fan at all, but this was incredible...



I'd hand out a free copy to everyone if i could.

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