ADD/Ritalin

[vigor]

derealization fucking sucks. in my younger years, i took way too many drugs. mainly lsd. as a result, i constantly have a grainy, static like effect over my field of vision and the tracers that i see following any and all moving objects will probably never go away. whether this is hppd or not is up for speculation because i haven't seen a doctor about it and self-diagnosis is kind of stupid. when you live with constant visual distortions on a daily basis, it has a subversive effect on the psych. there's the dream-like quality to the world around you, the questioning of reality(which isn't a bad thing in and of itself, but can be if you obsess over it like i have in the past), and the development of solipsist tendencies. the research on this phenomena seems to indicate that severe depression can also be a result, which i find agreeable, since i often have random bouts of depressed mood and lethargy for reasons i can't exactly pinpoint. i would completely disagree with dinaric leather's opinion that derealization is in any way positive. in my experience, i've found it to be an extremely difficult affliction and a serious cause of concern in regards to my ability to think positively, be happy, and be productive. so don't do too much lsd, but still do a little.

[indjaseemun]

Ritalin just relieves some of the symptoms, the real cure is discipline. Derealization for most people is just the realization of the fragility of consciousness. I find derealizaton to be a positive mental state.

I started feeling derealization when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure it was the combination of anxiety + excessive videogame, TV and computer use. It always started when I was in the middle of crowds, or in gaming places with arcades.too much activity and visuals or too much people started inducing it for me. It was totally drug like, and it started before I have used any drugs. But as I said, I had abused other mind altering things like videogames. If I had derealization after I started using drugs I would freak out and think I totally destroyed my brain. But the drug use came later, in a curiosity to see where else this altered state of mind stuff can go. I remember that derealization was like a big puzzle to me. I was totally clueless at what the hell was going on. There is not much knowldege about this. I remember that I started feeling it at a christmas party with my family, an occasion I enjoyed very much, then I started crying because it was happening again. I was a kid, and as time passed it started feeling derealized 24/7 and have been to this day. It's not that bad. It's also not that good. As it has been said it is good for mysticism and philosophy, but I cant say if it is good for fighting (probably not) because I don't do it.

I experienced derealization once, for about a week, and it was one of the most terrifying things I'd been through.

That's interesting. Why?

I feel like most of my generation has been subject to mind altering substances to make them more docile.

Yeah, we are exposed to a lot of stuff in vaccines, food, water, electronics, microwave, cell phones, etc...

derealization fucking sucks. in my younger years, i took way too many drugs. mainly lsd. as a result, i constantly have a grainy, static like effect over my field of vision and the tracers that i see following any and all moving objects will probably never go away.

That's extreme. I've read about tracers: Interesting phenomenon. I can't imagine how it is.

Thanks to all for the responses.

There is a book, I haven't read it, a woman wrote about derealization, she had it and found the answer to her questions in buddhist meditation, and realized that what she felt was actually something that had to do with buddhism, or meditation. Well I have to read it yet,.

I'm pretty sure edgar allan poe had derealization. There is a tale he wrote about a guy who craves some woman's teeth or something, in wich the character says that the world was every day feeling more unreal, while the content of books seemed to be the only thing that felt real.

[JSPAG]

Ritalin is an amphetamine. I would strongly urge you not to take this poison.

[Andrew]

I experienced derealization once, for about a week, and it was one of the most terrifying things I'd been through.

That's interesting. Why?

Mostly because it was triggered by cannabis (one of the first times smoking it, took way too much for how sensitive I am to it), and I had the paranoid thought that it was laced and I'd permanently fucked my brain up (since I knew how long it was supposed to last).  But in terms of the effects themselves (of derealization), there's quite a difference between recognizing the meaninglessness of everything and being confronted with it full-blown 100%.  That was quite literally hell.  The only emotion I could comprehend was sheer terror.  Although, even at the time I recognized how profound of a state it was.  I had some of my deepest thoughts those handful of days, in between panic attacks.  I can't remember specifically what they were though, since I've built on them with further thoughts afterwards.

[indjaseemun]

I experienced derealization once, for about a week, and it was one of the most terrifying things I'd been through.

That's interesting. Why?

Mostly because it was triggered by cannabis (one of the first times smoking it, took way too much for how sensitive I am to it), and I had the paranoid thought that it was laced and I'd permanently fucked my brain up (since I knew how long it was supposed to last).  But in terms of the effects themselves (of derealization), there's quite a difference between recognizing the meaninglessness of everything and being confronted with it full-blown 100%.  That was quite literally hell.  The only emotion I could comprehend was sheer terror.  Although, even at the time I recognized how profound of a state it was.  I had some of my deepest thoughts those handful of days, in between panic attacks.  I can't remember specifically what they were though, since I've built on them with further thoughts afterwards.

I totally understand you: Toughts come up of the fragility of our body and consciousness. Thoughts about Lovecraft's monsters being real; thoughts about dying without air, gettig punched in the face,  thinking that in this moment it's only a panic attack but that you are subject to the laws of jungle and at any minute (and it probably will happen) someone will violently attack you, etc... But you experienced it together with something similar to a panic attack triggered by cannabis. Only derealization is not so scary once you get used to it.

[Andrew]

I'm glad you mentioned Lovecraft, because even at the time I felt that the best way to describe it was that it was very much like the madness and cosmic dread that occurs after his characters are confronted face-to-face by one of his entities.

Also, I agree that the drug-induced panic attacks were a large part of the terror, but they are also what triggered the adrenaline that created the experience in the first place.  In my case it went away as I got used to it.

[Dinaric Leather]

Holy shit, you guys are the biggest bunch of whiners I've ever seen write with that sort of literacy. You got really stoned once, got into deep thought and it was "quite literally hell"? SHEER TERROR? It really makes me think how inexperienced you have to be. If you fucks are so smart that you can make all these theories about Lovecraft, I know you guys know how to unfuck yourself, you just aren't willing to put in the fucking effort.

[Andrew]

It's funny how you accuse us of being inexperienced when you clearly have no idea what we're talking about.  No, I wasn't just stoned.  Cannabis doesn't last for a week, if you didn't know.  But yes, inexperience is at the root of it; lack of life experience brought on by living in a terrible time of civilization where it's all too easy to fall through the cracks of extreme introversion if you have such a tendency, and then every new experience that is even slightly intense has potential to become nightmarish.  From that you get panic attacks which result in new physical symptoms which spur on more panic attacks in a positive feedback loop, and those strange mental symptoms, which are almost like a "trip" in themselves, are what we are discussing.  But go ahead and continue believing that anyone with any kind of mental condition or instability can just "unfuck" themselves whenever they wish.  At least it will give you the pleasant feeling of hope that you might someday overcome your own pretty obvious retardation.

[Cargést]

In my experience, people's "mental problems" are more often than not self inflicted - symptoms of the cognitive dissonance generated by living in so mournfully crap a time as this while knowing that almost everything around you is plastic and unimportant, while the truly important things are purposefully obscured by the people "in control".  Some of the people I know ended up taking this stance and then not doing anything about it, resulting in them developing pretty odd "mental conditions" - even frequent panic attacks.  It's not "unreal", "put on", or anything of the sort, but it's entirely within their power to stop themselves from responding in such a way to events, stimulae, whatever.  Luckily, most of those people trained themselves to respond more pragmatically to unknown/potentially extreme/threatening situations/experiences, /.

[vigor]

cargest makes an extremely valid point. while i do believe in the existence of psychological disorders caused by chemical imbalances in the brain and other various damage(for example, my visual distortions are most likely a result of damage to the hippocampus impairing my sensory gating ability), your modern day run of the mill depression, neurosis, and whatever other bullshit excuses to numb yourself with chemical lobotomies exist are most likely a result of thinking "what's the fucking point"? thinking that way is normal. i think the general progression for most people is a sense that the natural world is hostile to you, and then finally the realization that it's instead just completely indifferent. the problem is, a lot of people don't take the next logical step and attempt to find meaning for their lives on their own terms, and either seek supernatural approval(religion) or just completely shut down and start loathing themselves and dabbling in self-destructive behavior. i've been there. the time i spend struggling with finding meaning and purpose in life is a little bit more frequent than i would like for it to be, but i'm thankful that i've atleast started the process of discovering the things that i value, the things that are productive for my life, and the things that i find beauty in. a lot of people get stuck on step 2 and proceed from there to dogmatic religion and lexapro. fuck that shit, grab life by it's sweaty nuts, regardless of any obstacles you've set up for yourself.

[Dinaric Leather]

It's funny how you accuse us of being inexperienced when you clearly have no idea what we're talking about.  No, I wasn't just stoned.  Cannabis doesn't last for a week, if you didn't know.  But yes, inexperience is at the root of it; lack of life experience brought on by living in a terrible time of civilization where it's all too easy to fall through the cracks of extreme introversion if you have such a tendency, and then every new experience that is even slightly intense has potential to become nightmarish.  From that you get panic attacks which result in new physical symptoms which spur on more panic attacks in a positive feedback loop, and those strange mental symptoms, which are almost like a "trip" in themselves, are what we are discussing.  But go ahead and continue believing that anyone with any kind of mental condition or instability can just "unfuck" themselves whenever they wish.  At least it will give you the pleasant feeling of hope that you might someday overcome your own pretty obvious retardation.

You think its funny that I said you were inexperienced, yet you affirmed it by telling me that "inexperience is at the root of it"? See, you already have quite a bit of insight into the root of your problem. I know I'm obviously retarded, and have no idea what I'm talking about, but all this shit that you're spewing just sound like euphemisms and excuses for poor and complacent behavior. You say you "get" panic attacks like it's some illness you caught or some shit, it's not. What it more likely was is you having a temper tantrum like a five year old because it's not obvious whats expected of you in this society. You're neurotic like a dog with no leadership. You are right about one thing though, you can't just unfuck yourself whenever you wish. I never said "whenever you wish". Truth be told, people with "I don't know what the fuck to do with myself disorder" or whatever you think you "have", take a long time to unfuck themselves, if they can even do it at all. They need someone else to unfuck them, join the military. I know your spineless friends will tell you all the classic shit about "being another cog in the machine, bro", "fighting on behalf of corporations, man" and all that horseshit, but it's pretty much the only way to achieve some level of discipline for an intelligent young man like yourself without any other strong guidance.

[indjaseemun]

As sad as it is, dinaric leather may be right. A lot of symptons disappear after hard phyisical work.

[Andrew]

I know you're spineless friends will tell you all the classic shit about "being another cog in the machine, bro", "fighting on behalf of corporations, man" and all that horseshit

You do realize this is anus.com, right?  I think you might've confused it with the Rush Limbaugh message boards, so why don't you mosey on back there.  Your advice is only fitting for drug addicts, homeless people, and morons, otherwise one cannot kill and risk death for a cause they know is idiotic. 

Anxiety is a by-product of an overactive mind, not an isolated symptom that must be dealt with.  You cannot get rid of it, with medication or discipline, without affecting other parts of your mind, some that you might value.  The kind of discipline that the military will give you is the disipline to do what you're told until you can make it home to your six-pack, big screen tv, leather couch, and potato chips.  And, joy of joys, you'll get to watch football on the weekend!  One should reject any "disciplining" that brings them further into the machine of mainstream society.  There are many other ways to discipline yourself, if it's truly necessary.

[Cargést]

I know you're spineless friends will tell you all the classic shit about "being another cog in the machine, bro", "fighting on behalf of corporations, man" and all that horseshit

You do realize this is anus.com, right?  I think you might've confused it with the Rush Limbaugh message boards, so why don't you mosey on back there.  Your advice is only fitting for drug addicts, homeless people, and morons, otherwise one cannot kill and risk death for a cause they know is idiotic. 

Fighting to improve oneself by leaps and bounds compared to the majority of vacuous imbeciles is an idiotic cause?  What the fuck have I been doing with my life!?  All this time, I was so wrong!  I'm going to stop doing things that will benefit me in the long run, because the outside world is altered insignificantly in a way which may or may not go by the wishes of the majority or minority of people whom I may or may not support!

My mind is overactive, and I'm not anxious.  That aside, if you find that your mind has nothing to focus on but things which will make you anxious, then I suggest you follow Mr. Leather's advice and do something which will actually engage your magnitudinous intellectual capabilities while producing something worthwhile, just as others of us do.  Surprisingly enough, we're the ones who don't make ourselves anxious.

I am of a sound enough mental disposition already that I do not require any exterior influence to force myself to improve myself, and this is why I have no reason to join the army, or any similar group.  I can discipline myself, and I discipline others, and I owe both of these facts to my being disciplined by my rolemodels and a significant amount of general anger and willpower.  Regardless of this faculty of mine, I am, funnily enough, considering joining an army, at some point in my life, if only because I know I'd be damn good at it.  Depending on how my life continues from this point on, I may or may not become a soldier.  Regardless, I am a Warrior, and Warriors strive to improve themselves continually (where have I heard that before..?).  Turn your mind away from issues which aren't actually of any real importance in the end - everything will die - and focus on things which benefit you.  You will enjoy improving yourself.

I'd also like to say, it's not terrifically "mainstream" to join the army.  If it were, then every country would have a fucking big army.  Not that that would be a bad thing - in fact, the more popular joining the army becomes, the better, because more people will die.

[Dinaric Leather]

You do realize this is anus.com, right?  I think you might've confused it with the Rush Limbaugh message boards, so why don't you mosey on back there.  Your advice is only fitting for drug addicts, homeless people, and morons, otherwise one cannot kill and risk death for a cause they know is idiotic.

It's also fitting for people that suffer from debilitating anxiety that they themselves cannot cure. I have no idea why you keep bringing up politics, perhaps I should have said join a military because you assume I must mean the US military, although I never mentioned any particular allegiance. Converting to Islam and fighting for Allah in Afghanistan as the well known former Hessian Adam Gadahn did, bless his warlike spirit, is equally valid. If you are Jewish you may want to consider moving to Israel and joining their defense force. Warfare in general will bring discipline or death. Regardless you'll no longer have chronic anxiety.

Anxiety is a by-product of an overactive mind, not an isolated symptom that must be dealt with.

Absolutely, thats why you must compliment your overactive mind with an active lifestyle, which typically requires a certain degree of discipline. I'm not sure where you got the "isolated symptom" bit, seeing as there is no such thing as an isolated symptom and I'm not sure what I said to suggest that.

You cannot get rid of it, with medication or discipline, without affecting other parts of your mind, some that you might value.

I'm not sure what you are saying here, are you suggesting that discipline will damage parts of your brain as drugs might? Ancient soldiers must have been pretty fucking dumb if thats the case.

The kind of discipline that the military will give you is the disipline to do what you're told until you can make it home to your six-pack, big screen tv, leather couch, and potato chips.

Oh shit, I almost forgot that it's standard practice for militaries to order a diet of potato chips and beer to all discharged soldiers. Of course not all men become well disciplined super soldiers after a couple years of service, and some come home, forget what they were taught and let all that discipline slip while they pleasure themselves to mental oblivion. Those people most likely didn't come to the military looking for self discipline anyway, they came for the "benefits" that governments bribe their citizens with when there is no culture to defend. The military isn't some institution where people with mental problems can sign on the dotted line, get all disciplined up and be good to go. It requires hard work on your part and a sense of duty to yourself that you can't just let your body and mind go to beer and pot after you're discharged.

And, joy of joys, you'll get to watch football on the weekend!

Baseball is the true American sport. There is a reason that American football players die early, God hates them.

One should reject any "disciplining" that brings them further into the machine of mainstream society.  There are many other ways to discipline yourself, if it's truly necessary.

I agree that the military, and warfare in general, is incredibly popular right now. So many people are enlisting, the US military doesn't even know what to do with them all! I swear, you'd think it's 1941. I'm sure Americas well respected and highly honored soldiers just can't fucking wait to come home to the cheers of their grateful fellow Americans just like their forefathers did when they returned from Vietnam. Every time I see an American newspaper, I see nothing but headlines such as "Heroic American soldiers save innocents, Jihadists defeated once again" or "American soldiers in Iraq filmed carrying wounded Iraqi children from battlefields, risking their own lives". Once I suggested to my friends that the American soldiers are just being chucked like shit by the ape like government, and they went ballistic, I honestly didn't think I was going to survive after spouting such a non-mainstream, heretical opinion.

Yes, there are many methods of disciplining yourself, hence why I specifically suggested it to people who "cannot discipline themselves". If you had discipline, you wouldn't have to worry about your overactive mind, because you'll be consistently active. It's not so much about you having an overactive mind as much as it is you being underactive in general, you lazy fucking wiener.