Indie Blog Laments as Maryland Deathfest is Mainstreamed

The hilarious leftist parody of metal will be celebrated in force this weekend as Maryland Deathfest completes its transformation into Coachilla-lite. While it’s been painfully obvious that all festival culture has gone fully mainstream as futureless millennials continue to spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need there are still many in the hipster sphere that can’t grasp the loss of counter culture to the mainstream. Maryland Deathfest continues this trend with praise from mainstream propaganda editorial Newsweek and lamentations from liberal snowflake blog Invisible Oranges occurring in the same week.

The author of the later article is the perfect example of why the death of MDF has been long overdue. Right off the bat, he identifies exactly who he is as he indicates that his fondest memories of the fest were seeing “huge bands like Electric Wizzard” and “socially interacting with other metal nerds.” Surprise surprise, he is the epitome of the average Maryland Deathfest attendee in the 2010s: going to a once death metal fest to see some stoner rock and for the “rare treat” of potentially not being the most socially awkward loser in the room. But now, the fest is too mainstream even for him as discussion of MDF has left the page’s niche message boards for the pages of The Washington Post  and The Baltimore Sun.

For those of us not stupid enough to fund the bastardization of our beloved death metal, this weekend will be a fantastic opportunity to bask in sorrows of the funderground as they watch their bandwagoning outdone by Warped Tour graduates and Bonnaroo scum. It’s just too bad that Ariane Grande wasn’t booked for this one.

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8 thoughts on “Indie Blog Laments as Maryland Deathfest is Mainstreamed”

  1. Cullem` Boner says:

    Aren`t all fests just a gathering of retards (bands included)?

    Fuck fest culture! Fuckfest mentality!

  2. Jacob Slemmer says:

    What the fuck is sweet tea vodka?

  3. GGALLIN1776 says:

    The last line, you beat me to it.

  4. Matt Risnes says:

    Most of the “content” on this site could be conveyed just as well through a series of crabby tweets.

    1. Scrotal Impairment says:

      “crabby tweets”

      I see what you did there.

  5. canadaspaceman says:

    Pauly Shore sucks … and does not suck as good as Dinah Shore

  6. matters says:

    C’mon, you want those Symbolic underoos!

Comments are closed.