Saltiness Over Sadistic Metal Reviews of Sentimental Albums

Old Disgruntled Bastard, one of the few quality metal blogs around, accused Death Metal Underground of writing clickbait on Facebook for our recent Sadistic Metal Reviews of older albums our staff had noticed to be inferior to the best of the past:

To Death Metal Underground: Certain albums have endured – for musical and extra-musical reasons – across decades and among generations of metalheads of diverse backgrounds, and the least they warrant is treatment with the respect they’ve earned. There is no revelation to be made and there is no current of general perception to be reversed by “raping sacred favorites”. Clickbait is distinctly unelitist and pissing in the wind for the fuck of it isn’t terribly smart either.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews 3-15-2017

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: 3-14-2017

These bands attempt to masquerade their GarageBand music fit only for arcades, pizza parlors, and high school dances as underground metal. They fail.

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Lucky Charms Metal

Death Metal Underground has received criticism for our review of limp-wristed, warmed-over Swedish heavy metal act In Flames. Our staff called them the Swedish version of Christian glam rock band Stryper. However despite being hard rock, Stryper were actually heavier, more sincere in purpose, and more aggressive than the Comic Sans In Flames. Stryper and the speed metal influenced glam rock of Skid Row were at least far more musical than Fredrik Nordstrom produced melodeaf such as post-Alf Svensson At the Gates, Arch Enemy, Dark Tranquility, In Flames, and Soilwork. Stryper and Skid Row were at least well-versed in 60s and 70s riff rock while directly influenced by Metallica and Slayer:

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Hail of Bullets Breaks Up

Funderground party death ‘n’ roll and deathcore band Hail of Bullets has broken up according to a post on their Funbook page. Hail of Bullets’ illness was no reason to exist as a musical entity beyond lining the pockets and fattening the livers of Dutch death metal scene veterans through CD releases and festival gigs. Martin van Drunen quit the train wreck a while ago probably as death metal fans grew sick of the band’s constant stream of lame releases. The war is over Hail of Bullets. You lost and were executed for your crimes against metal music such as III: The Rommel Chronicles.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Mellow Destruction of Inferior Semi-Technical Trivialities

These random, gimped releases are held in high regard by high-pitched “metal” critics and core pogo stickers. The Death Metal Underground staff takes it upon themselves to scorn and defile them in the name of all that is good in the metal genre.

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Upcoming New Issue of Isten

A new issue of the legendary Isten fanzine is being published later this year by Svart Records. Those foresighted enough to have purchased the Isten Fanzine: Don’t Break the Ghost compilation book will know how big of a deal this is. Isten was one of the most legendary death and black zines along with Metalion’s Slayer.

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Necrophobic 2017 Chilean Tour

Swedish black metal band Necrophobic is planning a short four show tour of Chile this June. Chilean fans should check them out especially as their best vocalist, Anders Strokirk off of The Nocturnal Silence, has rejoined the band. Hopefully they will play their best, early material.

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