#Metalgate: The A.V.Club Gets Burzum Merch Pulled From Wal-Mart

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Hipster multimedia review website The A.V. Club accused Wal-Mart of “normalizing” Burzum by stocking Burzum‘s merchandise online through a third party a few days ago. Wal-Mart pulled all of their Burzum merchandise today. The A.V. Club fails to understand that Burzum was a major metal innovator and tabloid fodder, making Varg Vikernes about as well-known as actual black metal will ever get.

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Bolzer – Hero Diehard Colored Vinyl

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer announced the various editions that their godawful debut album Hero will be available in on their Facebook page. The diehard LP version will exclusively be available in colored vinyl. Bolzer call the color “semen/copper burst“. Inspired by what ends up in Bolzer’s toilet when they forget to use an enema, Hero shares the same color as the mushy results of vigorous, unprotected anal sex.

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Thy Invocation of Hell In-stock at Analog Worship

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Thy Invocation of Hell zine 21st anniversary reprint from Afterlife Productions is available in the United States from vinyl specialist distro Analog Worship. The zine is packed with interviews conducted in the early, formative days of legends like Beherit, Blasphemy, Varathron, Immortal, and Emperor. Afterlife Productions themselves are down to their last 30 copies for those close to Malaysia.

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Women Warned Not to Report Rape in Muslim Nations

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According to Reuters, British charity and non-profit organization Detained in Dubai has warned women not to report their rape if they are raped in Muslim countries such as Dubai where the Islamic fundamentalist Sharia laws are stacked against them. Women who do so wish being arrested for extramarital sex as apparently forced non-consensual sexual activity is still illegal extramarital sexual activity under the law supposedly spoken through the mouth of a supposedly prophetic bandit and pedophile only slightly more documented than King Arthur.

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Metallica – Hardwired… to Self-Destruct (2016)

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Review contributed to Death Metal Underground by the Peckerwood Boys. The audio review may be heard here.

Yep, just me here. A new Metallica album of all 45 rpms of pure American metal! 180 grams, limited to 500 copies. I’m gonna spin this bitch like NASCAR!

Lookin’ under the hood here, you got your Black Album riffs, you got your Pantera, and that sir, that’s gonna get you over to your cousin’s house faster than her boyfriend so you can propose to her. Now this album right here has really got me saying, “I’m glad, I’m glad it was Cliff!” That Master of Muppets there album had a lot on it I couldn’t understand in it. It was like tryin’ to make sense of one of them pieces of paper with scribbles on it, them black scribbles man.

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Kretchmer – Music in the key of Major (2016)

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Article by Lance Viggiano.

2016 has been a dismal year for metal in terms of albums one might want to carry with them for the rest of their aimless and futile material embodiment. Fortunately, other genres are not so bereft of endearing symbolic language. Kretchmer is an electro composer who draws from the “braindance” acid of middle period Aphex Twin and the romantic melodic sensibilities of Kraftwerk. Each track possess an underlying narrative whose structure reveals itself via the gradual buildup of layers to a moderate density. A primary motif is looped or varied upon through the course of a given track. To further fill space, chords occupy the background and often provide a resolve to the melody as it cycles. Par for the course for this music, the drum and synth bass tracks play with the open space in between musical themes and function as harmonic rather than strictly rhythmic components. The emergent polyphonic circuitry pays tribute to classical sensibilities but eschews the theatrical; drawing instead from the grounded drama of the moving body.

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Ex-Bestial Evil (USA) Guitar SJW Kevin Rucker Complains About Brett Stevens

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Supercuck fetish SJW Kevin Rucker has seen his fortunes fall since leaving generic nu-death metal band Bestial Evil (USA) in a huff of pretense, and so he created a call-out video to attack vituperative Death Metal Underground writer Brett Stevens, who has if nothing else left a host of deserving enemies in his wake.

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