Antichrist – Sinful Birth (2017)

Antichrist are yet another group of millennials who want to LARP 1987 thirty years later. Sinful Birth is their second campaign in the eighties and of course Antichrist come armored with denim, leather, spandex and high tops of haste +2. Antichrist are of course of great appeal to the funderground as they ape records everyone loved as teenagers, they have riffs beer metallers have heard a thousand times before and can recognize whilst blacked out, and the vocalist isn’t aggravatingly annoying.

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Hidden Metal In Plain Sight

Underground occult metal blog Praefuscus Ferrum recently posted a piece entitled “Underground turned Funderground, and the Obscurantist Elite” proposing that what killed underground metal was widespress consumer access to new technologies such as the internet. These and the increased exposure to fans led artistically successful underground metal bands to pursue raw consumerism at the expense of writing transcendent music. D.A.R.G. points out that “the truest artists purposefully hide away from the profane eye” as the communication mediums the underground metal utilized (physical mail, tape trading, and BBSes) have been usurped by ones more accessible to laymen. He states the underground became the “funderground” in the blink of an eye as mainstream rock and pop fans who felt adventurous wanted rock and pop music with “black” and “death” “metal” production aesthetics, not actual death, black, or even heavy metal. Now the musicians actually writing novel underground metal compositions hide unbeknownst to the typical beer metaller in plain sight.

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Evil Invaders Announce Feed Me Violence

Recently and rightfully deported Z-list speed metal rehashers Evil Invaders announced on their Funbook page that they have a new album of trends mosh core fun coming out. Feed Me Violence comes out September 29th on Napalm Records. Evil Invaders promised to sell out and have lame glam metal choruses like Testament. You know this is going to stink like a bathroom stall at a truck stop with a few holes drilled into the dividers.

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Entrails Preview “World Inferno”

Z-list Entombed ripoff Entrails posted the title track “World Inferno” from their upcoming World Inferno album coming out June 16th on Metal Blade Records. Nobody asked for another Entrails album. Entrails albums are shelf-turds meant to take up space from better, more worthy fans. Big metal labels release them to flood the market and prevent others from gaining a foothold in it. Entrails weren’t good enough to make in back in the early 90s and aren’t good enough to make it now. “World Entrails” is rock-structured death ‘n’ roll bull diarrhea just like later Entombed. I would rather eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while sipping a juice box through a straw like a six year old than listen to “World Beater” again.

Dark Economic Truths of Underground Metal

Recently many of the other “metal” websites, blogs, publications et cetera have been doing articles about the business side of music industry. Unsurprisingly none of these articles had the testicular fortitude to address the ugly reality of the underground metal economy as they are written by either slaves to the machine itself or losers who genuinely believe that they have “careers” in music which heavily depend on acceptance by the community. Since the Death Metal Underground staff bow to no masters social or corporate, we are in the rare position give you the truth in its rawest form. So with absolute disregard for the powers that be in metal, let’s take an honest look inside this machine to see how it really works.

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Indie Blog Laments as Maryland Deathfest is Mainstreamed

The hilarious leftist parody of metal will be celebrated in force this weekend as Maryland Deathfest completes its transformation into Coachilla-lite. While it’s been painfully obvious that all festival culture has gone fully mainstream as futureless millennials continue to spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need there are still many in the hipster sphere that can’t grasp the loss of counter culture to the mainstream. Maryland Deathfest continues this trend with praise from mainstream propaganda editorial Newsweek and lamentations from liberal snowflake blog Invisible Oranges occurring in the same week.

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Metalucifer Release “We Are Still Metal Kids” Video

Metalucifer, the heavy metal loving parody side project of Gezol from Sabbat (Japan), released a new video to Youtube from their upcoming split 7″ with Sabbat. “We Are Still Metal Kids” is a  disposable, haphazard parody of NWOBHM bands such as Iron Maiden and Judas Priest just like all other Metalucifer songs . It will also eventually appear on an upcoming album to be released on Iron Pegasus / R.I.P Records. Metalucifer’s previous albums (Heavy Metal Drill, Heavy Metal Chainsaw, and Heavy Metal Bulldozer) and all of their other cash grab releases are all pretty much disposable kitsch but still better than most of the war metal, metalcore, and crypto-indie rock the Funderground attempts to force down our throats.

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More Free Press for Shining

Swedish emo black ‘n’ roll pop punk band Shining has been kicked off a show in the fat hipster junkie haven of Portland, leaving the funderground’s communist media pussies and useless indie rock blogs abuzz about “alleged” acts of shock rock front man Kvarforth. Though not charged with a crime at this time, the self mutilating schizophrenic man kisser has been accused of “violent, racist, sexist, nazi behavior,” completing the full checklist of character assassinations attempted by the left on a daily basis. But apparently unbeknownst to all of these out of touch basement-dwelling butt rock journalists this is the exact GG-Allin LARPing Kvarforth has been doing at every single show and in every single interview for over two decades. Therefore, this mass collusion has accomplished nothing outside of promoting Shining and their upcoming tour dates.

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Relapse Announce Probably Excremental New Supergroup Expulsion

Sell-out sludge label Relapse Records announced that they have signed a new “supergroup” named Expulsion, who of course have a new record, Nightmare Future, coming out on July 14th. Expulsion features members of grind originators Repulsion, Phobia, party metallers Exhumed, , and the excrement pushers known as Gruesome. Hopefully Repulsion guitarist Matt Olivo brings some actual riffs to Nightmare Future and doesn’t just ape his past success to play double the festivals with double the beer, double the moshes, double the core, double the trends, and double the fun.

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