The Elder Land

Despite releasing a forty-five minute disc for the price of a mCD (great!), Berzerker present the masses with their second failure in a row. Welter perform "Ingvian Heathen Metal" (wank!), which of course means black metal with pseudo-folk influences. I'll try to be fair here, as it WOULD be unfair to expect much from "Herr Krieger". By looking at the photos of him and his friends, it's obvious he's no more than fifteen years old. How can a fifteen year old possibly come up with mature and honest metal, when he hasn't finished grade school yet? Ah, forget that…this is the worst album I've heard all year! What a festered piece of CRAP!

The mCD is a joke from start to finish. An insulting joke to some, a waste of time to others. One track ("The Laws of the North") for example, is a cover of "Johnny come marching home" (believe me, it wasn't easy trying to figure out where I'd heard this) with semi-comedic, fully idiotic lyrics. A few of the tracks attempt to do what Falkenbach have already done, although are so awfully annoying and immature that they actually DISGUST me. The more straight forward black metal, including a cover of a Black Arts track (tell me this is someone's idea of a joke. That band was pathetic) are very much avoidable. And then there's an Absurd cover (since when is this band such a legend that everyone is covering them? Give me a fucking break!) which adds even more insult to injury.

Here's my advice to Mr. Krieger: Take five years to live. Grow up. When you're old enough to have digested life, THEN start writing metal. You're obviously far too confused to come up with anything that isn't a fucking waste of time and money (this truly is a stinker). Apparently Berzerker will release the ROD CD next, who are the Russian equivalent of I Shalt Become/Birkneau (little kids discover black metal, start evil NS group = piss off). Not a good start…

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