Darth Vader’s Top 10 Underground Metal Songs

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Article by David Rosales

Child prodigy, genius wielder of the Force, Darth Vader was the result of an excess of talent and aptitude leading to a complete disregard for standards and rules, tradition and caution. The Dark Side’s poster boy was kind enough to impose his favorite 10 underground metal songs on us:

10. Master – Funeral Bitch

Don’t fail me again, Admiral.

9. Merciless – Dreadful Fate!

I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.

8. Massacra – Researchers Of Tortures

Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

7. Bolt Thrower – World Eater

The Empire will compensate you, if he dies. Put him in.

6. Torchure – Genocidal Confessions

Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.

5. Blaspherian – In the Shadow of his Blasphemous Glory

I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

4. Brutal Truth – I See Red

He is as clumsy as he is stupid!

3. Celtic Frost – Visual Aggression

No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself.

2. Destruction – Bestial Invasion

You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.

1. Profanatica – Angel With Cock

I have *felt* him, my master.

14 thoughts on “Darth Vader’s Top 10 Underground Metal Songs”

  1. LostInTheANUS says:

    When are we going to get Jesus Christ’s Top 10?

    1. vOddy says:

      Hahahahahahaha

      I hope they do it, just to see what they come up with.

      I would also like to see the picks of other mythological figures. How about Thor? or Satan?

      1. vOddy says:

        How about Sauron’s favourite picks? or Morgoth’s?

        1. OliveFox says:

          I bet Tom Bombadill has shit taste in music. Folk songs about gay wagons and his dumb golden wife or whatever. Just piccolos and lutes all up in his record collection.

        2. Anthony says:

          100% Summoning on both accounts, I’d wager. Maybe some early Burzum mixed in, but I doubt that either of those illustrious figures would be down with hearing their orcs cry!

    2. OliveFox says:

      So many metal songs have him being raped, impaled, not existing, and generally being a silly goose I imagine he would just stick to adult contemporary and smooth jazz. Chris Botti in the ear-buds whilst his pops forsakes him…not so outlandish.

      1. LostInTheANUS says:

        Rabbi Yeshua talked about turning the other (butt)cheek and liked hanging out with sinners. I’m sure he would’ve loved Deicide’s first 3 albums.

    3. LostInTheANUS says:

      Also, I just noticed, why the fuck are there no VADER songs on DARTH VADER’S TOP 10?

  2. ancestralmist says:

    this list makes no sense.

  3. Flying KItes says:

    Yeah, so the Schwarzwald of that cheeseball parody, the Spaceballs, meant Black Forest. Heil Hitler.

  4. Anthony says:

    Darth Vader has pretty good taste. Personally, I would have gone with Nuclear Assault or Hemlock over Brutal Truth for my Dan Lilker fix, but I won’t argue with the man in black.

    Did anyone else here sympathize with the Empire more than the Rebellion, even when watching those movies as a little kid? Fucking hippies…

    1. vOddy says:

      I remember thinking about how lots of more or less innocent individuals in the death star (janitors, engineers who needed to make a living, etc) would die if the rebels succeeded in destroying it. Not to mention forced imperial conscripts, the storm troppers themselves.
      And I remember thinking “They have to die. It is the only way to victory”.

  5. Disremember says:

    My pick for Vader–

    1. Evil has no boundaries- slayer
    2. No remorse– Metallica
    3. Son of Evil— KREATOR
    3. A lesson in violence — exodus
    4. Final Massacre— Vader
    5. Troops of Doom– Sepultura
    6. Death Metal— Possessed
    6. Black Friday– Megadeth
    6. Orgasmatron—- motorhead

  6. Moonshake says:

    I’ve always thought Morbid Angel’s Visions From the Dark Side was the ultimate Vader metal song.

    “Take my mind
    All the way
    The dark side calls
    I shan’t resist”

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