Defining Indie “Metal”

As many movies from the 80s and 90s will tell you (e.g. SLC Punk and PCU), youth counter cultural movements of those decades were once various fragmented groups or “tribes” baring their own identity while all opposing the mainstream Whitney Houston and boy bands on the radio. You had your goths, new wavers, punk rockers, emos, ect. at war with the “jocks and cheerleaders” collective of popular kids and, in some cases, at war with each other. But in the years to follow, the deadly combination of multiculturalism and micro culture has effectively ended this conflict as there was no longer a singular popular culture and therefore no “them” in the classic “us vs. them” dynamic. Therefore, these varying counter cultural factions were unified into one ugly all encompassing monstrosity: the hipster.

(more…)

7 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Corporate Metal Labels Caught in a Death Spiral

Earlier this week the publishing catalog of metal mega-label Century Media has been pawned off for an undisclosed sum to Reservoir Media, a publishing boutique holding the royalty rights to songs by a variety of pop artists ranging from Drake to Lady Gaga. In investment terms, a boutique is defined as a financial firm that deals with a specific market, so picture Reservoir as a wealthy Wolf of Wall Street-like conglomerate recklessly gambling with the royalties of musicians. This is common in the modern music market, where suits are making bets on the evolving payout methods streaming services, but the surrender of Century Media’s entire catalog of albums (Death, Paradise Lost, In Flames) to a finance firm playing with house money goes to show how desperate the corporate metal labels of yesteryear have become.

(more…)

5 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

The Sad Pandemic of West Coast “Black Metal”

Today’s American black metal has found itself right within the parameters of Poe’s Law which, when applied to this abomination of a music scene, would sound something like this:

(more…)

27 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Vice Magazine’s Embarrassing French Black Metal Film

As part of their quest to ruin everything interesting and appealing about both metal and life, the gullible cronies of media pyramid scheme Vice Magazine have journeyed to the grim countrysides of the French black metal underground to film what is undoubtedly the most boring film in the history of music. While Vice markets this abomination as a “documentary” calling it such is actually a misleading statement as the film is little more than a collection of autistic ramblings without a single question or narrative statement. In any case, the eyesore is a bastardization of the region’s legacy as any shred of decency still possessed by the founding members of Mutiilation and Drakkar Productions have been urinated directly into the toilet as they hammed it up for the same forces that they claim to be rebelling against. Fortunately, the film’s lack of credible sources and unbelievably poor post-production prevents it from succeeding in the demystification of what was once one of the more intriguing regional black metal scenes.

(more…)

11 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Liberal Music Fans Fooled by Grindcore Charity Deception

A massive amount of gullible liberal retards have fallen for a masterful charity deception running on Bandcamp via a “grindcore band” called Anal Trump. The band’s new album If you Want to Qualify for Health Insurance, Then Maybe You Should Have Gotten Raped? currently is the service’s top selling album despite the entire album being less than 60 seconds and offering virtually no music content. Priced at $5.00 (though users are able to pay more), the band claims 100% of “net proceeds” will be donated to the charity RAINN. This is in fact a cleverly worded deception as Bandcamp’s payout model takes 15% of all sales plus a processing fee (varying based on the amount), meaning that instead of donating $5.00 directly to the charity and getting nothing in return, users are donating $3.95 to the charity and $1.05 to Bandcamp and getting nothing in return.

(more…)

13 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

When the Fear of Nazi Monsters Ruins Music Appreciation

Ever since the rise of leftist politicization of metal, there has been rising hysteria over a secret Nazi fifth column lurking within the metal community, ready to spring out of the shadows and attempt a world takeover. This is due to the effects of the corrupt mainstream media portraying everyone opposed to their Marxist agenda such as President Donald Trump, reincarnation of Hitler with the majority of America seeing through their psychotic imagined orange Fuhrer. But for the millions of citizens that will buy into whatever the mainstream sells them, including the scenesters of indie rock, this narrative maddens them to the point of belief that the entire Republican/Libertarian/Conservative movement is the spiritual sequel to the Axis Powers. This is immaculately articulated in a review buried deep within scenester shill blog No Clean Singing’s attempt to set the world record for “most metal bands reviewed ever.”

(more…)

31 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dark Economic Truths of Underground Metal

Recently many of the other “metal” websites, blogs, publications et cetera have been doing articles about the business side of music industry. Unsurprisingly none of these articles had the testicular fortitude to address the ugly reality of the underground metal economy as they are written by either slaves to the machine itself or losers who genuinely believe that they have “careers” in music which heavily depend on acceptance by the community. Since the Death Metal Underground staff bow to no masters social or corporate, we are in the rare position give you the truth in its rawest form. So with absolute disregard for the powers that be in metal, let’s take an honest look inside this machine to see how it really works.

(more…)

36 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Indie Blog Laments as Maryland Deathfest is Mainstreamed

The hilarious leftist parody of metal will be celebrated in force this weekend as Maryland Deathfest completes its transformation into Coachilla-lite. While it’s been painfully obvious that all festival culture has gone fully mainstream as futureless millennials continue to spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need there are still many in the hipster sphere that can’t grasp the loss of counter culture to the mainstream. Maryland Deathfest continues this trend with praise from mainstream propaganda editorial Newsweek and lamentations from liberal snowflake blog Invisible Oranges occurring in the same week.

(more…)

8 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,