All that’s old is new again

I’ve been listening quite a bit to the new BEHERIT. I’m on an oil rig, have almost none of my belongings (this is a rush job), and need desperately to entertain myself. For music, all I’ve got are the speakers on my netbook and two albums:

  • Beherit – At the Devil’s Studio 1990
  • A random death metal comp I made a few years ago

I made the death metal comp to try to explain to other people why I — normally a classical listener, around 75% of my listening, with another 15% being Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream and Lord Wind — love this music. It captures the (cough) true diversity of this music and its imagination. It also captures what the music tries to embody: many different views of the same spirit, a feral but principled aggression that seeks to like a warbound king set all that’s wrong to right and to smite the weak, sniveling, boring, pointless, craven and ugly from this earth.

This brings me to the new old Beherit: I’ve come to love this thing. It has what The Oath of Black Blood has, which is reckless noise and pure energy. It also has what the following album brought, which is a sense of evil not as some stumbling error, but as a deliberate force — a conniving, undermining, dark and pervasive force that seeks to overthrow the light which converts the rich diversity of life into simple symbols and moral concepts.

As the gunfire in Norway fades, and the crumbling of the USA’s rotting edifice of spoiled entitlement brats begins, this is the appropriate soundtrack: all that in the cosmos which we have banished because it is disturbing returning with sublime intent, overthrowing our oblivious pleasant notions and anthrocentric delusions, and replacing them with the savage but ultimately logical order of the primordial forest at dawn.

KILL

0 thoughts on “All that’s old is new again”

  1. brutal slayer of neurotypicals, nerdy asperger's warrior of virginity says:

    It’s a little known fact, but the first Death Metal album ever was Beethoven’s 3rd Symphony.

  2. beherit sucks says:

    >KILL

    Aww, why you so mad, bro? Flunked out of school? Nothing in life turn out the way you want it to? Parents didn’t love you or give you enough attention as a child? Maybe too much, which turned you into a spoiled, rotten little shit?

  3. congrats says:

    >weak, sniveling, boring, pointless, craven and ugly

    You’ve pretty much described not just how all black/death metal sounds, but also how its fanbase is.

  4. Cockservationist says:

    If you REALLY listen and appreciate to classical music, why do you waste your time with the shittiest subsection of metal? Why not metal that’s actually good, or say, Gentle Giant? This tops anything that has ever borne the label “metal”:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro3eVIFzN5g

  5. yeah says:

    >I’m on an oil rig

    Great career, dude! Awesome to see that the elite of humanity, soon to be the elite of the New Hessian Order, is composed of roughnecks still listening to bad kinder-metal! Shame on anyone who actually thinks or feels these days and isn’t just an angry aspoid.

    P.S. Even Beherit forgot about this shit and probably look back at it with shame.

  6. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    I wish I could join you General nocturnal wrath rider of doom, but sadly I am in Detroit. I have no doubt similar riots will break out soon and we shall join you in battle. I have assembled a small militia of proud hessian warriors willing to fight in honour of their past ancestors. We shall lay the city asunder while listening to Conqueror!

    WAR CULT SUPREMACY
    HAMMER OF ANTICHRIST
    DECIMATE THE WEAK
    ANNIHILATION OF THE PUTRID SCUM

  7. General nocturnal wrath rider of doom, merciless slaughterer of the feeble says:

    Hails to you noble brother, as I plunge through the ardent cities of London with my ensemble I shall be thinking of you and how you could aid us. while my blade is bathed in the blood of those unworthy.

  8. good band, heavy as shit and great melodies says:

    >DECIMATE THE WEAK

    Fuck yeah dude, I love Winds of Plague!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2JX9VeL7n4

  9. Knight of the Burning Heart, Bringer of Neverending Storms says:

    Almighty Brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death, heed my call onwards to battle we ride brother in arms.

    Together we shall slay the hipster scum that poisons these lands of old glory! Whe shall rid our land of the human waste, ride , ride with me brother!! Onwards into countless battles, let Bestial Warlust guide our path into Valhalla! Ride with me Avengers of the Metal Flame!! Together we Fight!!!

  10. General nocturnal wrath rider of doom, merciless slaughterer of the feeble says:

    The sorcerers have appeared too? Most excellent. All that awaits us is the silent rogue: Misty clouds of the shadow mountain. His stealthy presence will make a great asset to our forthcoming battle.

    ONWARDS INTO GLORY RIDE

  11. Knight of the Burning Rectum, Bringer of Neverending Cum Showers says:

    so instead of homosexual banter you’re going to spam the comments with this fruitcake dungeons and dragons shit? desperate times I guess.

    p.s. in my mind you all look like this: http://bit.ly/qL9TPp

  12. lol I hope it blows up and you die. says:

    lol Conservationist is a janitor on an oil rig

  13. Conversationist says:

    A question for all the self proclaimed aspies as I am doing a study on Aspergers. When you run, are your arms stiff and motionless by your side causing you to lose balance? If so, how do you compensate running off kilter?

  14. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    I flap my arms when I run. It’s a great way to keep balance, just like Japanese visual novel games are a great way to practice interacting with girls.

  15. Dark Philosopher of the abyssmal chasms of Hell, summoning the Council of the Seven Infernal Lords says:

    hear thee brothers:

    Our primary thesis is that great metal, particularly great death and black metal, is but one avatar of the eternal, unwavering principles and values by which nature and great civilization are governed.

    The methods are often brutal, but the revelations beautiful to those with ears to hear them. What is life in the shadow of ever-lurking and unforgiving death, for only… “Only Death is Real”.

    For the Glory of Metal we shall plight to battle, through storms, through evil,through war, we shall return victorious. MIGHTY RAVENDARK!!

  16. Anonymous says:

    >Dark Philosopher of the abyssmal chasms of Hell, summoning the Council of the Seven Infernal Lords

    Didn’t I already kill you in Diablo 2?

  17. @ Anonymous says:

    Didn’t you suck my dick last night?

  18. Puke Feast says:

    Didn’t you think I was great in Diablo 2?

  19. Typical Anus Hater Troller Emo says:

    I started wearing women’s underwear under my clothes at work and when going shopping. It made me feel very turned on. One day I wore a dress and a cute blonde wig to the office – everyone was very shocked but couldn’t say anything due to the sexuality equality laws.

    I called myself Beatrice and went to gay clubs; guys loved my massive dick. I let them fuck me up my ass. I told them to fuck my cunt. My dirty, messy, sloppy cunt.

    One day, a guy told me to fuck him with my huge dick. I was nervous, but after a while it went in the whole way! The guy was in some discomfort at first but then screamed at me to fuck him harder! I was so happy I was so happy I had finally managed to fit my massive cock up a asshole!

  20. Negru Voda says:

    Shit Levy, you know I come here for YOUR anus, baby. Love that tight, white skin around my black cock. Guess why they call you Spearman, you can take my tribal pole all the way day and night

  21. Levy_Spearmen says:

    It’s “Spearmen” you dumb, faggit. Go die you fucking disgusting freak.

  22. Levy_Spearmen says:

    You fags are pathetic. You fail to realize that you are just a construct of nature, but one that humans actually no longer need. Go die.

  23. tiny midget says:

    i wanna fuck levy spearmen’s mom with my tiny penis!!

  24. fuckin' peasant says:

    lol my Dismounted Feudal Knights will completely crush your levy spearmen

  25. Levy_Spearmen says:

    No, you don’t…

  26. tiny dwarf says:

    I also wanna fuck levy spearmen’s mom with my even smaller pecker!!

  27. tiny hobbit says:

    can I also have a piece of that action too?

  28. Power Metal Crusader of Truth and Justice says:

    oh yes I do faggot

    prepare to take a sabaton up the ass

  29. Levy_Spearmen says:

    I’m taller than all of you.

  30. GAY MASTODON FAN (is there any other kind?) says:

    Back when I was in high school, you didn’t need to smear yourself with feces in order to get women to notice you. In fact, there were no women at all. You just had extremely unsatisfying buttsex with your buddies and that was that, back when times were simpler.

  31. doubtful tiny midget says:

    Is Levy_Spearmen’s mom hot? I mean is she worth banging? Cause I’m not dipping my 1.5 inch midget wiener into an old wrinkled flubbery wench! Does she even like anal? She better cause I’m giving it to her real hard and fast! She better have it clean too cause I’m not scraping no dried shit! Anyone here knows if Levy_Spearmen’s mom has a clean anus? Hey yo Tiny Hobbit, have you banged this guy’s mom in her anal fun hole? Does she like to swallow jizz?

  32. Levy_Spears_Men's_Anuses says:

    My mom’s busy tonight with a gang of Mexicans, their filling up her pussy with some refried beans and spicy jizz – you guys are gonna have to wait your turn!

  33. assertive tiny hobbit says:

    Yeah she´s clean man! I think. Wait… I was too drunk that night and I can´t remember if it was Levy_Spearmen’s mom I was fucking or her little slut sister. I just remember it was hairy fuzzy warm cavity… mmmh now that I recall it was a bit too hairy. She was moaning like a bitch giving birth. Wait… it´s all coming to me now… I remember we were on a very dark room and Levy_Spearmen was knocking on the door asking: “Dad are you okay?”

  34. Levy_Spearmen says:

    Honestly, “have fun,” is all I will say.

  35. confused Mastodon Fan says:

    IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH LIKING COCK? BIG JUICY COCK?

    AM I ANY LESS OF A METALHEAD FOR THAT?

  36. annoyed stupid hipster says:

    Is there even a point in trying to seriously comment on these blog posts anymore?

  37. Infernal Overlord of Satan's Nipples says:

    By nightfall I shall ride the winged anuses of Neptune through the forest of cocks t’ward the fortress of the hipsters and slay them with my 4000 year old bronze dildo smelted by Loki. Lightning of Zeus flows through the veins of my cock as I jizz an unholy load of black, oily jizz into the abyss of Beelzebub’s rectum.

  38. Faggot Lord says:

    I have discovered a lost tome of gay sex positions from the Library of Ashurbanipal, in celebration of the death of hipsters, we shall pound each other’s anuses with our twisted cocks to bring about a new album by Cianide!

  39. woof says:

    “entitlement brats”

    lol

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO0AtOE_RtQ
    Here. Some real music.

  40. Adrock McBizkit says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ6G7qwjom4

    CLEAR
    off yo CD rack
    wont get none of yo CDs back

  41. @Adrock McBizkit says:

    I have a few Death and Black Metal CDs you can have that I won’t _want_ back.

  42. "homosexual" or "gay" "sun" or "solar" metaler says:

    Any sexy hessian out there want to get down and dirty with some “anal” or “buttsex”?

  43. @Prozak says:

    Just from a glance at your last.fm, your taste in classical is questionable at best. Where’s Debussy, one of the top 10 most innovative composers? You are obviously teutonic-centric, but where’s Bach? Where’s Mahler and Scriabin, the best examples of the sort of adventurous, hyperemotional Romanticism you spuriously link to metal? Why is the only modernist you listen to an also-ran like Respighi?

    These aren’t questions I’d ask someone who doesn’t act like he’s God’s gift to music literature, but you do.

  44. Slayer says:

    No apparent motive
    Just kill and kill again
    Survive my brutal thrashing
    I’ll hunt you till the end
    My life’s a constant battle
    The rage of many men
    HOMICIDAL MANIAC

  45. General nocturnal wrath rider of doom, merciless slaughterer of the feeble says:

    I believe I have found our true lyrics for the upcoming battle:

    God is dead
    Praise hail Satan
    Cross has dread
    Will to power!

    Victory is one!

    Satan has rise
    Phallus demons break
    Jet black fire
    Evil they make

    Victory is one!

    Decimation on command
    One word – ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK!
    Decimation on command
    One word – ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK!

    God is dead
    World is burning
    People die in plague
    Victory to the grave

    Victory is one!

    Ride forth sons of perdition
    Dominate fuck and destroy
    By blood and thunder – rise of the heretics
    Satan has won!

    Stealth it rapes
    Black shark takes
    Dark war awake

    Victory is one!

    Sons of perdition
    In-semi-nate
    Wolf kult religion

    Victory is one!

    Ride forth sons of perdition
    Dominate fuck and destroy
    By blood and thunder – rise of the heretics
    Satan has won

  46. Conservationist says:

    Beherit is cool. A lot better than Bestial Barnuts. Better than anything that faggot Brutal sucker of dicks likes.

    Mastodon is the best hessian metal ever!!!!

  47. mastodon gay noob of the hipster realm of indie poseurdom altruism says:

    MASTODON IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS LADY GAGA EXCEPT LESS HEAVIER AND LESS INTELLECTUAL. HIPSTERS LOVE MASTODON BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL RETARDED AND ALL FAGGOTS.

    NOT ALL FAGGOTS ARE MASTODON FANS BUT ALL MASTODON FANS ARE FAGGOTS!

  48. General nocturnal wrath rider of doom, merciless slaughterer of the feeble says:

    I expected derogatory comments from the little puny 100 pound Romanian. It is not my fault your flawed genome is too shitty to understand the power and might in my soul. I have already assembled my armour and blade in order to deal with the protestors. Join me brethren, we shall ride into the city and they shall know our might!

    Bestial Warlust shall be our soundtrack, hails to brutal slayer of christians for recommending them. Their pure sonic onslaught will be sweet to me and my generals – Bloodriver deathrider of pestilence and oathcrusher sungem of the Northern kingdom. NO ONE SHALL REMAIN IN OUR PATH, TO VICTORY MY BROTHERS.

  49. the usual Mastodon fan, nothing new her i'm just gay like all Mastodon fans says:

    Sorry, I should have elaborated. I don’t fuck guys, I only like to get fucked by them, the thicker the meat squeezing into my tight little puckerhole the better. Strict bottom here. It’s not only a matter of preference but also mechanics, since Mother Nature generously endowed me with a 1.5” choad.
    Naturally I like a thick meat pummeling my anus whilst listening to Mastodon.

  50. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    Mastodon is gay shit for fags who like their pants to be ripped asunder by powerful negroes who will proceed to insert their throbbing manhoods into the depths of their anus.

    Listen to Nargaroth, much better music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSG6GUbsuU

  51. Mastodon is brutal hessian metal! Only for the strong, not weak. says:

    Mastodon is real heavy metal for hessian warriors, not poser metalheads and hessians on this site.

    We need a review for Mastodon’s first two albums. Conservationist, death/black metal/vijay…..you need to add Mastodon to the DLA.

    Don’t listen to these fags making inane comments about a band that can run circles around them. I know the DLA is deserving of the stalwart that is Mastodon!

  52. Sam Dunn says:

    Hey guys! I am the guy who wrote, produced and directed the film “Global Metal” which documented heavy metal all across the world. When I arrived in Pakistan or Kabul, (it’s been so long, I can’t remember) I had on a Mastodon shirt. Now, I’m as metal as they come. I’ve been listening to metal since I was a kid so I know what good metal is.

    I ask the warriors of DLA to reconsider your ideas about Mastodon and think about how metal they are.

    Just a thought. Keep it metal friends. \m/

  53. misantropical nihistic stoic gangsta rapper says:

    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.
    and need desperately to entertain myself.

  54. oil me up, Scotty says:

    How dare you! Beherit is high nihilistic art, not entertainment! Espcially not entertainment for you whenever you’re not participating in buttsex on the oil rig.

  55. a veritable anthem of Heavy Metal says:

    If you have internet access and need to keep yourself entertained, just listen to this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYnFIRc0k6E

    Now I know y’all be lovin’ this shit right here
    L.I.M.P Bizkit is right here
    People in the house put them hands in the air
    ’cause if you don’t care, then we don’t care

  56. oh wow says:

    >Listen to Nargaroth, much better music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSG6GUbsuU
    >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlSG6GUbsuU

    LOL @ THAT

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  57. @ oh wow says:

    Last time I checked your asshole was dripping cumm… my cumm!

  58. QUIZ THE FAGS says:

    What’s the difference between malcore kids and an indie-metal no0bs who praise Mastodon?

    1) the former are happy to be idiots, the latter are on crusade to convince you that their shitty rock is also “metal”

    2) none, except malcore kids are seduced to fecal anal sex by indie-metal no0bs

    3) none, except indie-metal no0bs are seduced to fecal anal sex by malcore kids

  59. General nocturnal wrath rider of doom, merciless slaughterer of the feeble says:

    I was thinking Chris Moyen could draw our battle emblem. Something along these lines would be cool: http://a1.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/94/0261344e26834b49b2b5ab259c3f323e/l.jpg

  60. @QUIZ THE FAGS says:

    Last time I checked your asshole was dripping cumm… my cumm!

  61. Levy_Spearmen says:

    Pleasant late morning to ye all!

  62. MASTODON GAY FRIENDLY INDIE ROCK FOR POSERS AND FAGGOTS says:

    POSTED AT THE MASTODON WEBSITE:

    Hi I´m Troy, vocalist for Mastodon. We first started the band in 1999 and our first demo came out late in 2000. By that time we realized Metal could be commercially viable if you made pleasant pop music disguised as heavy metal. Most fans are retarded anyway and we needed money for male hookers, we love cock in our asses so we thought we should express this through our music.

    Our strategy was to do what other commercial fake metal bands had done 5 years ago. We realized the best thing was to repeat known cliches that worked within rebellious teens that were sick of MTV but too dumb to understand underground Metal, so naturally we wanted a product idiots and faggits would buy.

    Our style? Well we are technical progressive emo groove rock, erm, I mean, metal. We combine the essence of Metal which is distorted guitars and gay sex, that’s how we write our music, we bought the equipment and had a lot of gay sex between band members and random hobos we found on the street and what came out of it is basically what you hear on the first album.

    We don’t like underground metal, too noisy and tasteless. But man throw som Chimaira, Machine Head, Opeth and Sonic Youth and I’m all balls out man, fuck my ass and spoon me you know dude? Real metal. Or not, we don’t care, our audience is not metal based anyways.

    We write for ourselves you know man? And for most middle schoolers that are into heavy music like Korn and Limp Biskit, really heavy stuff like that. We are good with our instruments, for instance, Brent can fuck me for ours and pull out just at the last moment, that way I can’t get pregnant .. or something.

    My inspiration and heroes? Well, Big Bird and uhm, Dani Filth from Cradle. One is tall and the other is not, great stuff great stuff. We were never a metal band and that’s the truth but we do sound like one and that’s what matters in the end right? It’s not about how good an artist you are of if you capable of making good music, it’s about figuring out how no one notices if you’re not!

    -Keep sucking balls, buy our first two records only and remember that only the first time hurts, then you get used to it and before you notice, you don’t even need anal lube anymore! Peace.

  63. Pantera is queer music for ass munchers says:

    Enough with gay biography of Mastodon. It’s not funny and so untrue. Come with something a little more clever and a little less 10 year oldish.

    Mastodon is pure hessian warrior metal for killing off poser hessians and faggots.

  64. HEY MASTODON FAG BOY... says:

    THIS PUTS TO SHAME ANYTHING MASTODON HAS EVER DONE!!
    CHECK IT OUT FAG BOY

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FplFq9EXiSM&feature=related

    CUNT!

  65. ah dreams, they are so beautiful... says:

    Hey, who would like to see a Soulfly album in colaboration with fred durst from Limp Bizkit. Man, that would be a Metalhead dream come true, you know? I really hope that happens, I would be in the store with my mastodon t-shirt and my long hair to buy it in a split second.

  66. Mountain sucks says:

    How about I mount your mom up on my dick?

  67. Misanthropic Post-Moralist Aristocratic Toilet Cleaner says:

    Mastodon is real heavy intellectual shit that I play whilst reading the Nicomachean Ethics and sipping on a fine Merlot. I wouldn’t expect a barbarian who listens to such uncouth racket as Beherit to understand their transcendental qualities. They’re not quite as cerebral or intense as Lady Gaga though.

  68. misanthropic nihilistc blah i forgot how it goes says:

    The soundtrack for the death of humanity will be the silence, when humans are no more.. the silence will reign
    A good idea would be broadcasting essential death and black metal albums into space hoping some alien civilization will capture it and learns about great music and even hopefully they will do the same

  69. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znXPfy4 says:

    you’re

  70. me says:

    I can’t believe the same obvious samefag retard keeps spelling “cum” with two m’s and adding two exclamation points in every sentence. Go back to the Russian gulag you poo-lak cygan.

  71. death metal blows says:

    >hoping some alien civilization will capture it and learns about great music

    I don’t think that would do much for humanity’s public image… You might as well grab furry shit from Deviantart and put it in the Cassini space probe.

  72. in b4 some underage homo makes a gay joke about "who I want to take me home" says:

    The soundtrack to the end of the world will be Seimosonic’s “Closing Time”, which none of you underage faggots are old enough to remember, and is much better than your pussy poser death metal shit.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFV5DZTgqKw

  73. JuggaloHomie14/88 says:

    When will anus.com stop ignoring horrorcore and review these great artists?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqLUrYfbvk8
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_3S3vIAEts
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44UkRX5Gx3Q
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsyQ_H14JrA
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMkiXEEyOrc

    Metal and horrorcore are closely related and are the most evil genres of music that exist. The DLA needs some more reviews but you always say there’s no cool metal anymore so why not review other dark and satanic music? Fuck all this bullshit about pussy classical music, that stuff ain’t evil. Horrorcore is evil. It ain’t all about clowns and that Faygo shit, trust me.

  74. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    I am personally working on reviving Plato, Nietzsche and Aristotle. Once they come back to life, I will hand them all copies of the following albums in hopes they appreciate how well their philosophy has been conveyed throughout these past centuries:

    At The Gates – The Red in the Sky is Ours
    Incantation – Onward to Golgotha
    Morbid Angel – Blessed are the Sick
    Burzum – Hvis Lyset Tar Oss
    Emperor – In the Nightside Eclipse

    There are many more to choose from, but these are some of the most elite metal albums I can think of. I would also probably slip some Bestial Warlust for Nietzsche, as their thunderous output evokes the majestic nature of the will to power – our most primordial feeling.

  75. haha says:

    You might as well show Nietzsche Rebecca Black and tell him she encapsulates his will to power.

  76. Master Shake says:

    Fuck juggalos!!! i hate you inbred, nigger wannabees! You all are backwoods retards who are missing teeth from using meth. Fuck horrorcore!

    By the way, brutal sucker of dicks is straight up lame virgin who will lose his virginity not to a female but a big black cock. :)

  77. HOMO FAGGOT WITH AIDS says:

    whats wrong wit taking a big black cockk?????? i’ve fukked a whole tun of nigs – some fresh from Africa. they gave me the gift of AIDS, what I deserve for being white

  78. @ me says:

    I cumm in your mouth and you love it fag boy!

  79. QUIZ THE FAGS says:

    Why would anyone consider Mastodon to be metal music?

    1) you’re a clueless retard so it’s okay to have no idea of what metal music really is

    2) you don’t want the “metal” section on you iphone to be empty so you can impress your gay buddies

    3) when your mom drives you to the mall, you want to be the heaviest of all the malcore no0b fags

    .

  80. fuck says:

    Brett Stevens works on an oil rig.

  81. @ death metal blows says:

    you need more cock in your life, just like your sister with the nice tight pink pussy i raped last night, she ate all my cumm like a bitch in heat!! !!

  82. @puke feast says:

    Diablo 2 fucking rules. Beherit’s a good soundtrack to it.

  83. u mad bro? says:

    “I am personally working on reviving Plato, Nietzsche and Aristotle. Once they come back to life, I will hand them all copies of the following albums in hopes they appreciate how well their philosophy has been conveyed throughout these past centuries”

    I think they’d probably tell you to turn that grating garbage off within a second and tell you to fuck off. They’d also laugh at what a fat acne-ridden midget you are and ask to see someone of actual importance.

  84. nigga u dum says:

    also you are a fucking retard, the only philosophers worth reviving are Locke, Marx and Bertrand Russell, but then again you’re not an intellectual so how could you ever appreciate that

  85. there were retarded leftist death metal bands in the 90s too says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcdzRU7jpkI

  86. @QUIZ THE FAGS--You are a fag says:

    “Why would anyone consider Mastodon to be metal music?”

    1. Well, let’s see. They are heavy, brutal and any other positive adjective you can think of to describe them.

    2. They write intricate song structures that can run circles around Blood, Bestial Buttfucks and any faggy band “QUIZ THE FAGS” likes.

    3. They shit and piss on Pantera. (Pantera were a faggy hair metal band in the 80’s who licked each others balls as ritual before performances.

    4. All the members are straight and have fucked “QUIZ THE FAGS” mom all at once. One in the puss, one in her anus.com, one in her mouth and the other in her nostril. Yeah sure, their swords may have crossed but hey…………..at least your mom’s a whore.

  87. mastodon = sped up sabbath riffs, predictable song strucures, jazzed up retard-distracting drumming, nirvana/pantera vox + imigery and cover art as arbitrary as something an artsy-fartsy hipster nigger faggot would dress himself up in in an effort to be considered “being himself” when in reality it makes him look more interesting than he ever will be.

  88. liberal hipster says:

    >says nigger
    >says faggot
    >says hipster(OMG DOESNT HE KNOW THEYRE MADE UP)
    >expects his argumant to be valid and for me to read his post

    what a fascist u guise

  89. Barry Lindon says:

    Alright that’s enough, now listen up all you queers. Beherit stand beyond the criticism of anyone that rides the anti-anus moral high horse, or just act like a straight up fuckhead on the metal blog. Ok, probably the album is only just better than “oath of black blood” and overall not as close to “drawing down the moon” as I was hoping, but still very solid and a great insight into this bands development. Hails.

  90. fartz says:

    ~mastodon = sped up sabbath riffs, predictable song strucures, jazzed up retard-distracting drumming, nirvana/pantera vox + imigery and cover art as arbitrary as something an artsy-fartsy hipster nigger faggot would dress himself up in in an effort to be considered “being himself” when in reality it makes him look more interesting than he ever will be.~

    >sped up sabbath riffs

    First of all, no. Seconds of all, sped up Sabbath riffs? You mean like… Asphyx and Beherit?

    >jazzed up retard-distracting drumming

    The metal you like has retard-distracting guitar solos. Be less arbitrary please.

    Also, apparently you don’t get that the drummer is supposed to be more than a time keeper. How sad.

    >imigery

    Lol.

  91. this is why nobody fucking likes this band, you dumb fucking queer says:

    none of the shit you decided to pick out makes them the absolute poppycock they are without the context of having the same predictable structures as something you’d hear on an alternative rock station.

    and yes, imigary. eat a dick.

  92. this is why nobody fucking likes this band, you dumb fucking queer says:

    LOL IMAGERY*

    I’m fucking retaded.

  93. Yes indeed! says:

    ^The retarded fagsexuals who don’t like Mastodon are indeed lost and don’t understand true metal music.

    “predictable song strucures”

    They can run circles around most bands on DLA which I’ve mentioned multiple times.

    “jazzed up retard-distracting drumming”

    Not everything is in 4/4 time fuckwad. Atrocity is proof of that.

    “nirvana/pantera vox”

    Where?

    “imigery and cover art as arbitrary as something an artsy-fartsy hipster nigger faggot would dress himself up in in an effort to be considered “being himself” when in reality it makes him look more interesting than he ever will be.”

    This sentence makes no sense. If you’re referring to their artwork, you might want to take a second look because it’s brilliant and far from hipster or being faggot-like.

  94. pffft says:

    “Nirvana/Pantera”

    Which? How are these equivalent? I don’t care how “mainstream” they are, they don’t sound the same.

  95. fuckin' aspies, man says:

    >predictable song strucures

    Yeah, totally unlike Ildjarn, Morbid Angel on Altars, Obituary, etc., what a valid criticism. Even that Sinister song that dipshit posted once doesn’t have that, nice hypocrisy there. And since when are wacky riff salad song structures mandatory for metal, or even exclusive to them? The majority of metal bands don’t even use them. By that criterion Genesis is more metal than Metallica. This criticism doesn’t even make sense since Mastodon is a pretty “progressive” band and their songs since Blood Mountain do use unconventional structures.

  96. usher - yeah, worst song of the decade says:

    >this is why nobody fucking likes this band

    I like how essentially your reasons for claiming to not like this band are all about image and association with a certain “scene”, as opposed to, you know, actually enjoying the music. I’d say that’s so hipsterish of you but usually hipsters detachedly dismiss things without getting as invested and vitriolic as you do. Instead, your mentality is so childish I bet you also think you can get cooties from girls.

  97. yup says:

    >imigery and cover art as arbitrary

    Wow, if you can’t see the connection between the white whale on the cover of Leviathan and the track Blood and Thunder on it, you are a fucking imbecile. Compare that to Altars of Madness, Effigy of the Forgotten, Cause of Death and most death metal albums, now that’s fucking arbitrary “oh we put it there cause it looks cool to teenagers” album art.

  98. umad, aspies? says:

    >claiming nobody likes this band

    http://www.last.fm/music/mastodon

    Mastodon: 19,744,242 plays (473,781 listeners)

    http://www.last.fm/music/morbid angel

    Morbid Angel: 7,459,333 plays (195,815 listeners)

  99. lolz says:

    In this comment section 800 hipsters get trolled

  100. yup says:

    I’m not mad Mastodon has more listeners than Morbid Angel because I know Mastodon has the “fat guy in black hoodie who watches Adult Swim” demographic.

  101. @ Yes indeed! says:

    STOP PRETENDING YOU’RE NOT HERE FOR COCK ALREADY, COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AND GRAB A DICK…WE ALL KNOW YOU WANT IT!

    … CLOSET HOMO IN THE QUEST FOR HESSIAN DICK AND MORE MASTODON QUEER TUNES

  102. RE:@ Yes indeed! says:

    First of all, metal in general is for the “fat guy in black hoodie who watches Adult Swim” demographic. That’s the majority of the fanbase.

    Second, no one wants your disease dick you poser hessian. We want your mom’s(and sister if you have one) sweet pussy, with or without walls. She may be loose but hey, Mastodon fans are true hessians and we rape and pillage. It’s our job.

    HAILS!!!

  103. QUIZ THE FAGS says:

    Yo know you are a real Mastodon fan if:

    1) you rub your tiny penis against whoever is holding another Mastodon cd (unless she’s a girl)

    2) when you’re listening to their shitty rock tunes, you bend over undies to your ankles and you don’t even know why you did that

    3) you think metal-flavored rock crap can also be metal if you just close your eyes and pretend that fat cock pumping your ass is there for a good reason

    .

  104. Brutal sucker of dicks, noble hessian snorter of meth says:

    @QUIZ THE FAGS

    You must know a lot of fagsexual butt-pirates in order to know what a Mastodon fan does in detail. Are you sure you’re not a homo bro? I’m quite sure you have dickbreath. Might want to rinse it out. :)

  105. hrrm says:

    ~First of all, metal in general is for the “fat guy in black hoodie who watches Adult Swim” demographic.~

    Moreso with Mastodon I mean that channel literally pimps them out. This is a fact.

  106. NUM SKULL or FRANZ SCHUBERT says:

    OH HAI

  107. NUM SKULL or FRANZ SCHUBERT says:

    Mastodon fucking suck, but face it, “real” metal ain’t worth a tick on a dead dog’s dick. The last Morbid Angel album proved they’re all stuck playing angry teen music and don’t know how to break out of it.

    To hell with “indie” and metal alike. You’re better off sticking to jazz and classical and finding the occasional modern artist/group who doesn’t suck, genre notwithstanding.

    And Prozak is a dipshit if he seriously thinks Ornette Coleman is the “best” jazz has to offer. Your limited experience isn’t the objective truth, but I guess that mentality explains why you speak of Beherit and Asphyx so highly.

  108. Ornette Coleman is definitely one of the best says:

    “Mastodon fucking suck, but face it, “real” metal ain’t worth a tick on a dead dog’s dick.”

    Then why are you here?

  109. @ u mad aspies says:

    Yeah, ’cause no one ever EVER listened to music before last.fm. Ever.

  110. fff says:

    “Then why are you here?”

    Because bad things can have decent results, accidentally.

  111. @fff (fat, fuckin' faggot) says:

    explain?

  112. HAIL THE DLA says:

    Fuck yes, glorious trolling.

  113. ANUS IS GAY says:

    ANUS = BUTT PIRATES FOR HOMO SEX

  114. Intesnse fuckin' HESSIAN with a serious brow ridge and large, glaring nostrils says:

    DOMINATING FUCKER….I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FUCKING DUEL OF BLOG DOMINATION.

  115. HESSIAN WIT SRS DOWNS FACE says:

    A ONE AND A TWO AND A CHING CHONG POTATO

  116. ANUS = EMPOWERMENT FOR ASPIES AND NIGGERSEXUALS says:

    ANUS IS ZOOPHILIA

  117. Because Prozak tells me so says:

    Jazz is just random nigger babble but Ornette Coleman is good.
    Pop music is for turnip picking proles and simpletons but R.E.M. are good.
    Death sucks and Morpheus Descends are great and invented Death Metal.

  118. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    How many fucking times do I have to tell you that I weigh 220 because it’s all muscle. I have been training for years in the woods as an ode to my warrior ancestors and I’ve gained muscles. 5’10 is not small, especially when the average height in Romania is 5’7.

  119. Levy_Spearmen says:

    5’10 is short, yet 5’11 is tall.

  120. case closed says:

    You’re an obese fucking dwarf, we’ve already established that. I can’t believe you actually said “‘sall muscle” though, lol

    For the record I’m much taller than you. No attractive woman would ever look at a man shorter than 5’10” as a prospective mate. That, or get ready to be cheated on, lol.

  121. ^above says:

    uh-oh, lonely loveshy/ladder theory nerd spotted

  122. @ case closed says:

    That don’t matter cuz fags like you will always open your legs to us cheated heteros; more importantly: what the hell do you know about women anyway? You’re on this here blog every single day various times a day, which means you ain’t getting no pussy ’till you stop comin’ere ‘n grow a sack. You’d be surprised the size of my balls, they’re the size of two good ‘n big them tangerines you pal wouldn’t believe your two eyes!

  123. brutal sucker of dicks, noble martian snorter of meth says:

    I’m 5’10 and weigh 290. I’ll beat any midget up. Where’s tiny midget? Come to Romania punk! As for the rest of you guys…………………….(whimpers)please don’t hurt me.

  124. Ol' Drunken Billy Bob says:

    My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts. All fags come’re n’ bend over n’ get yer free enema!
    Mastodon ignerts first can mount my here tire!

  125. @brutal sucker of dicks, noble martian snorter of meth says:

    Lol @ Romania, Europe’s Mexico.

  126. Dusk Elan says:

    Excellent post. Reminds me of Nietzsche’s, ‘Will to Power’. Out of nihilism soon!

  127. Dusk Elan says:

    Also, absolutely nothing has been contributed to the original blog post, just a bunch of angry dweebs spamming. Get off your computer and go outside for once!

  128. for the record, I am 5 9-11 ish says:

    “No attractive woman would ever look at a man shorter than 5’10” as a prospective mate.”

    Totally false.

    Also, short chicks.

  129. Ol' Drunken Billy Bob @brutal sucker of dicks, noble martian snorter of meth says:

    Them gubmint boys shore is ignert, yer missin my here cock ready to shootn’ glaze you in the face. Have jew seed ‘im? Big n’ ready fer you queer, ah thank ah’ll have a yer ass my here truck fuck boy.

  130. fartz says:

    ~Excellent post. Reminds me of Nietzsche’s, ‘Will to Power’. Out of nihilism soon!~

    That’s the problem. Act like a historical teutonic philosopher, get brushed away like the derivative poser you are. Break some new ground, and maybe your posts won’t get spammed with Mastodon.

  131. Dusk Elan says:

    There’s been plenty of original philosophy posts on the ANUS page. These blogs serve their purpose as.. heavy metal discussion.

  132. I ALREADY FUCKED THE GUY THAT USES THESE ON EVERY COMMENT > says:

    Big cock in the ass of everyone here! My phallus needs shitty asshole! BAR BAR BAR excrement

  133. Like what? says:

    “There’s been plenty of original philosophy posts on the ANUS page”

  134. THE ANUS TROLLER COMMUNITY IS THE BEST OF THE NET says:

    SHUTTHEFUCK UP DWEEB, ENTER THE FUN OF TROLLING OR GET OUT.

    THIS COMMENT SECTION IS FOR HAVING FRIENDLY VIOLENT FUN, WE ARE ALL FRIENDS HERE THOUGH WE PRETEND TO HATE EACH OTHER WITH INSULTS AND MOCKING; IN REALITY WE ALL LOVE EACH OTHER!

    THE CHARACTERS:

    Adrian Mc Cocks
    tiny midget
    NegruVoda
    Levy_Spearmen
    Brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death
    1big or2-3 small
    Dominating Fucker
    lol
    fartz
    Queero Mc Hungo
    Muppet Mcgoo
    the Mastodon guy
    Kontinual Adventures
    Quiz the Fags
    Mike Gainer
    T.G.
    Nigger Cumlord
    Serious Questioner
    Mortiis, the conqueror of Adrian’s butt cavity
    ffff
    Timmy Cummings
    Ol´Billy Bob
    Anti-Bacterial
    deadite
    > > (the guy that uses these)
    the fag that never uses a name but is always here

    MAYBE I FORGOT SOMEBODY. WERE ALL FRIENDS AND WE LIKE IT HERE, RIGHT BUDDIES. WE ARE A LIKE A CLUB WHERE FOLLOWERS, HATERS, TROLLERS AND SPAMMERS COLLIDE.

    I PROPOSE TO VOTE FORE THE BEST TROLLER OF THIS SECTION!

  135. fartz says:

    I’m like three of those people so I win

  136. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    No, I am not fucking obese. I have been training for years to prepare for the impending social collapse and the rise of the hessian reign. I have been able to master many arts including:

    Horseback riding
    Sword smith
    Archery
    MMA
    Wu Shu
    Tai Chi
    Tae Kwon Do

    I am a pure killing machine, although I still have to go to school. But that is irrelevant as plan a life in the woods.

  137. Dusk Elan says:

    Yeah I’m the fag guy, fff(fat, fuckin’ faggot) and tiny midget.

    Did I mention I’m a fag?

  138. @brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    And I have a gun, so I’ll shoot you whilst your LARPing on horseback, nerd!

  139. Prozak says:

    I am all those people.

  140. PANTERA AND BEER RULES says:

    that’s not the point; the point is we all love each other: aspies, nerds, fags, haters, fans, hessians, hipsters, we are a beautiful community!

  141. Mortiis, the conqueror of Adrian’s butt cavity says:

    Give me fuhel , give me fire, gimme huba huba chuba

    Metallica is to metal what Mozart was to classical music.

    Mastodon is to The Sword what Beavis is to Butthead!

  142. Conservationist says:

    YOU forgot poopjokes. He is also a semi regular here.

  143. brutal sucker of dicks, noble martian snorter of meth says:

    In romania, I like to ride horse bareback.

    (Count Dracula voicing) For I am Brutal sucker Ah, Ah, Ah!

    I like to count. Ah, ah ah!

  144. shy dude new at your community says:

    Hello everyone if I pull out my cock here, will anybody suck it?

    It is thick veiny and delicious.

  145. Gentle Giant - Free Hand is a killer album says:

    >aspies, nerds, fags, haters, fans, hessians, hipsters

    It’s funny how someone reading this blog can be all those things at once.

  146. @For your consideration says:

    We don’t have girlfriends because we’re fags, duh.

  147. Levy_Spearmen says:

    No, it is because we are retards.

  148. nihilistic misantropic stoic male hairdresser says:

    my vote goes to kontinual adventures

  149. Adrian McCoy says:

    Mastodon is great, real metal that is as good as any of the bands in the Anus canon. You trolls need to use your powers against mallcore faggot posers like Korn!!!

  150. fartz says:

    ~Metallica is to metal what Mozart was to classical music.~

    Yes, overrated, insubstantial, and guaranteed a place in history by wealthy patrons/labels.

  151. Adrian McCocks says:

    WHY AM I STILL HERE?!? I SUCK COCKS LOL!

  152. the fag that never uses a name but is always here says:

    thanks for remembering me

  153. yeah says:

    >Mozart
    >Metallica
    >overrated, insubstantial

    You’re a faggot, man.

  154. @ For your consideration says:

    Well thanks man I think this snippet is partially right exept for a few things: I do have a girlfriend, just not the girlfriend I wished to have. I’m not fat but out of shape; I used to be ripe, really. I think sex is overrated, it comes a time where fucking is just not that interesting. Honestly, I´ve been fucking so many hookers my cock is just tired of pussy.

    Am I a loser for only being able to fuck prostitues? Maybe, but I sure did have a great time. I would gladly change the 200 hookers I’ve banged for just one nice worthy girlfriend though.

    On the other hand, I’m not sure I could stop my habbit of hookers and Death – Black metal even if I wanted. Truth is I don’t want to. I always thought being a metalhead was cool, until I realized most metalheads are ugly, low-self esteemed losers. Then I cut my long hair, went to the gym and got myself nice fancy clothes and an office job. Got a girl friend.

    I can’t help it though, even if I look preppy at first glance, I come home and listen to underground death and black metal, sitting in the dark with no friends. So nothing has changed, except one thing:

    I am at peace with being a loner. Call me a loser, aspie or whatever the shit you want to call me. I have to accept what I am. I don’t like people, I don’t fit in “normal” society, I’m sick of sex and hate the fucking city.

    Am I a sociopath? Maybe I am. I think of killing people sometimes. I’ll end up committing suicide sooner or later but in the end:
    underground metal and a few other hobbies I have, do make me happy.

    I could have it all but I want none.

    – an honest metalhead

  155. tiny midget says:

    Sometimes I feel bad I impregnated Levy_Spearmen’s mom. Sometimes when I’m drunk
    I feel sorry for myself. I wish I was taller and my feet bigger (I´m 3′ 6″).

    I´m not into Death Metal. I only like Heavy Metal like the classic of the NWOBHM.
    Saxon, Tygers of Pan Tang, Altar. I just want somebody to love me man! sniff, sob. We are all friends at this blog right guys?

    Why am I so tiny? I got to go have sex with Levy’s mom now.

  156. Plagiarism says:

    I second this write up.

    “Well thanks man I think this snippet is partially right exept for a few things: I do have a girlfriend, just not the girlfriend I wished to have. I’m not fat but out of shape; I used to be ripe, really. I think sex is overrated, it comes a time where fucking is just not that interesting. Honestly, I´ve been fucking so many hookers my cock is just tired of pussy.

    Am I a loser for only being able to fuck prostitues? Maybe, but I sure did have a great time. I would gladly change the 200 hookers I’ve banged for just one nice worthy girlfriend though.

    On the other hand, I’m not sure I could stop my habbit of hookers and Death – Black metal even if I wanted. Truth is I don’t want to. I always thought being a metalhead was cool, until I realized most metalheads are ugly, low-self esteemed losers. Then I cut my long hair, went to the gym and got myself nice fancy clothes and an office job. Got a girl friend.

    I can’t help it though, even if I look preppy at first glance, I come home and listen to underground death and black metal, sitting in the dark with no friends. So nothing has changed, except one thing:

    I am at peace with being a loner. Call me a loser, aspie or whatever the shit you want to call me. I have to accept what I am. I don’t like people, I don’t fit in “normal” society, I’m sick of sex and hate the fucking city.

    Am I a sociopath? Maybe I am. I think of killing people sometimes. I’ll end up committing suicide sooner or later but in the end:
    underground metal and a few other hobbies I have, do make me happy.

    I could have it all but I want none.

    – an honest metalhead”

  157. Vijay Prozak says:

    Kontinual, our editor, is someone with a built-in compass that separates stupidity from the useful. You can learn from this person. He pointed out to me, recently, that many of the replies on this forum come from people who seem to have too much time on their hands, and too much aggression.

    Look… ah… I’ve been around this trip for awhile. I know what it’s like to grow up in a world where every adult seems and/or is full of shit, avoids reality, gives false answers, etc. I am not in denial of the fact that this civilization is dying, that most people are natively not all that bright and with the addition of mass media and socialization, are bone stupid. I’m in full recognition of the land use crisis, pollution crisis, resources crisis and social instability crisis. I’m aware that we’re seeing at least two great civilizations — Asia and Europe — exterminate themselves through pity. All of this is clear to me. I am not in denial.

    But, we still have to live. Further, we want to live well, and that includes living so that we further the chances of victory.

    The game isn’t over yet. If you’re angry and you have extra energy, you have two choices: you can wank yourself with rage and act our your emotions on others, or you can achieve something.

    We have opportunities for people who want to help us influence the media stream that’s the internet. If all of you angry badasses got together and actually worked on something other than your own selfish interests, which clearly don’t fulfill you because you’re still angry, you could influence the fastest-growing segment of news in the world.

    Did you think about actually, you know, being effective instead of drowning in your own emotions?

  158. Conservationist says:

    Look, we’re all Aspies here (from tiny midget to dominating fucker to the fag that uses the <)can't we just act like Data on Star Trek and assess whether something's logical or not without taking it personally? Most people on the internet are here to jerk off and feel important because in their day job, they're changing tires! answering phones! filing papers! editing dumbass websites! or whatever. So they come to the net to compensate, so they can feel like a cross between Sylvester Stallone and Richard Feynman for about ten minutes (note to self: masturbation is faster! haha). This should be an accepting community that ignores the pointless and illogical, but helps people who want to help themselves to improve. Why not? We've got nothing to lose. Clearly none of you are, you know, broken or otherwise incapable in some way. Right?

  159. naked chick with big perky boobs touching my clit says:

    This message is to all the anus trolling community:

    poopjokes
    1big or2-3 small
    Dominating Fucker
    lol
    fartz
    Queero Mc Hungo
    Muppet Mcgoo
    the Mastodon guy
    Kontinual Adventures
    Quiz the Fags
    Mike Gainer
    T.G.
    Nigger Cumlord
    Serious Questioner
    Mortiis, the conqueror of Adrian’s butt cavity
    ffff
    Timmy Cummings
    Ol´Billy Bob
    Anti-Bacterial
    deadite
    > > (the guy that uses these)
    the fag that never uses a name but is always here

    You guys are the best trolls in the world, please help us vandalize the Krallice and Mastodons websites.

    And do not i Repeat, do not miss this month’s posts of the Angry Black Metal Elitist, ITS FUCKING HILARIOUS.

    LINK:
    http://waldemardaninskyjr.blogspot.com

  160. misantropic nihilistic stoic robotech fan says:

    Current state of death metal:

    Suffoclones
    Incantclones
    Morbid Failers
    Generic brutal death
    Generic tech death
    Old bands living of past glory

    what else?

  161. mastodon gay fans says:

    here is a picture of two gay Mastodon fans having buttsex while listening to the first two albums of this indie-rock band:

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OMHgBdExWwc/Tjtl5wP8N5I/AAAAAAAAArs/kfzyl9jH1rE/s1600/kif2010.jpg

  162. Conservationist says:

    Look, we’re all Aspies here (haha), can’t we just act like Data on Star Trek and assess whether something’s logical or not without taking it personally?

    Most people on the internet are here to jerk off and feel important because in their day job, they’re changing tires! answering phones! filing papers! editing dumbass websites! or whatever. So they come to the net to compensate, so they can feel like a cross between Sylvester Stallone and Richard Feynman for about ten minutes (note to self: masturbation is faster! haha).

    This should be an accepting community that ignores the pointless and illogical, but helps people who want to help themselves to improve. Why not? We’ve got nothing to lose. Clearly none of you are, you know, broken or otherwise incapable in some way.

    Right?

  163. Asshole Basterd says:

    Prozak and conservationist are right. You guys need to stop sucking dicks, and get to work. I myself am incapable of anything other than going in and out of assholes. Spare me a thought in the war against hipsters.

  164. you forgot some. says:

    You forgot some, you frothing faggot:

    -Dave ™
    -Relativist
    -your’e making me hard, bro!
    -various Corrupt.org sockpuppets
    -lol yay guy
    -J.S Mill/ various enlightenment philosopher sock puppets
    -Noktorn
    -Lv 4 Julius Eevee ⚣
    -inconoclaust (baned)
    -dominator of blogs
    -“sun” or “solar” trolls
    -kontinual adventures
    -physically attractive hessian w/ sexy 5 inch love rod
    -brunhilde fan

  165. Alpha Demon says:

    I don’t have a girlfriend because after I bang those poor little sluts I eat them!

  166. Macho Nigga Thug says:

    I don’t gots no g-bitch but I ain’t about that shit. I got dick to go ’round, and it’s constantly in the mouth of some white bitch. I don’t hang around long enough y’know? I dump my cum in a bitch’s pussy then leave.

  167. Adrian Mc Coy says:

    I LOVE YOU GUYS, ALL OF YOU, REALLY. YOU GUYS FULFILL ME, COMPLETE ME. ALL THE INSULTS, HATE AND MOCKING… I FEEL LOVED FOR ONCE!

  168. moar says:

    -GOJIRA fags
    -Mahatma Gandhi
    -sick of white people
    -JesusEqualityFreedom
    -C”a”r”g”a”s”t “” “” “” “” “” ‘”

  169. ANUS HISTORIAN says:

    I have identified the beginning of the “age of blog trolls” as starting in the year 2010 AP (after prozak)

    Observe: http://www.anus.com/metal/about/blog/pivot/entry.php?id=143

  170. Oxpoop says:

    *splat*

  171. @ ANUS HISTORIAN says:

    Thank you Anus Historian. Do you htink it will continue forever?

  172. Silence...Adrian Mc Coy presiding please.... says:

    Disregard that I suck cocks!

  173. Adrian McCoy says:

    OMG YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING RETARDS I MISS DEATHMETAL.COM FUCKING MUCH

    AND YALL RACITS TOO

  174. @Lady Gaga says:

    You can’t be a heavy metal lover because you’re not into White Power and racism.

  175. Corrupt.org > Amerika.org says:

    I miss corrupt.org and its insightful articles on sane, sustainable living in an insane world, reading felt like sitting around an old hearth or quiet font of sanity. Half the articles of Amerika.org are fantastical blatherings with no real world applications.

  176. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHjNmyzrVvM says:

    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?

    Oooh
    Talk to me
    Oooh
    Talk to me
    Oooh
    Talk to me
    Talk to me

    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?

    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?

    Talk to me
    Oooh
    Talk to me
    Oooh

    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?

    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?
    Do you think you’re
    better off alone?

    Talk to me
    Oooh
    Talk to me
    Oooh
    Talk to me
    Talk to me

    Talk to me

  177. @better off alone says:

    I CRIED

  178. Jared Taylor says:

    Don’t forget about me. White power! Down with Niggers!

  179. @better off alone says:

    woah man that sounds like VNV Nation

  180. brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death says:

    This is such brutal and dark music, easily on par with any of the masterpieces Beherit has released: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHclSN6igrY

  181. brutal sucker of dicks, noble martian snorter of meth says:

    This is such brutal dick sucking. Easily on par with what I do.

    Here watch me attempt to suck my friends dick in the car.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd3L45dJnDM

  182. truth says:

    NegruVeda < -> Martin Regnan

  183. ANOTHER ANUS HISTORIAN says:

    I bet it will

  184. BECAUSE ANUS IS GAY says:

    ANUS = FAGS

  185. Spider-Man says:

    I like to grab my dick and go – shag shag shag shake shake shake – and I shoot
    web through my cock y’all !

    You got to see it to believe it!

    – your friendly Spidey.

  186. confused hessian says:

    The only things that matter to me in life are paying for sex, death metal, black metal, doom metal, thrash/speed metal, crossover thrash and comic books.

    What should I do?

  187. Lord Aspie of the Solitary Base_ment says:

    @ brutal slayer of christians, noble hessian warrior of death
    Wrathprayer sounds good but so does Teitenblood and Prozak thinks they suck dick. You know how important Prozak’s opinion is, and how insignificant mine is. So I dunno man. maybe Grave Miasma is something you’d enjoy.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1rsadM_Zvs

    Come on now people, don’t mess with my boy here Brutal Slayer, he’s of the few true warriors left. Respect!

  188. @confused hessian says:

    embrace your inner homosexuality and come out of the closet

  189. @confused hessian says:

    I already did and it worked wonders for me.

  190. Adrian McCoy says:

    Get better taste in music ,get a life, and finally get bent….

    Better yet why don’t you pussies come to Sacramento and try to start some shit huh? Internet trolls are fucking gay and you fags only know how to run your mouths so I would shut the fuck up if I were you…

  191. Adrian says:

    And whats with this bullshit about mastodon? Korn is far worse…

    But all you asses know is to talk about the same old bullshit…

  192. confused hessian says:

    I did come out the closet only for a second and then went back in to fuck more female prostitutes.

  193. Adrock McCockles says:

    I am cocks.

  194. Levy_Spearmen says:

    Most of the time you will realize that a whore is all you really need.

  195. yay go Quero McHungo says:

    Quero McHungo fan# 1!!

  196. Krieg says:

    You guys do realize that working in petroleum engineering is one of the highest paying jobs in this day and age, right?

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