Cursed Productions interviews Amon Amarth

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April 27, 2011 –
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Our old friends and comrades at Cursed Productions just interviewed one of the bands to take death metal mainstream, Amon Amarth.

While this band personally has no interest for me, being “too busy” as if trying to run away from life itself and sounding too much like a metalcore version of Dark Tranquility, seeing a quality metal journalist get some recognition is always a bright spot.

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  • Levy_Spearmen

    Those journalists must have had a great time with those fatties. The moment up until the midget fatty is all that is needed for people to watch. Yep, spot on interview.

  • Levy_Spearmen

    Great interview, but one more thing – I was totally aroused throughout. I’m trying to cut down on jerking off but how can I when watching those cute boys? :)

  • Winston Churchill

    I´m going to start trolling the fucking fag Amon Amarth guestbook real soon… now that we got rid of the gay Gojira guestbook after those fucking fag emo teens decided they had enough abuse and decided to cancel their guestbook, is time to find a new fucking target. Now I need some pussy before I get to that…

  • Levy_Spearmen

    Hey Mr. Churchill, wanna come over and play? I may not have a pussy but I have a nice, tight ass.

  • Winston Churchill

    I’m not gay but a hole’s a hole, what can I say? I’ll be over soon, Levy_Spearmen, I’ll bring my 12 inch leather dildo, too. It’s unwashed because I know you like the musty smell of stale cum and shit.

  • Levy_Spearmen

    Boy howdy I’m a rising journalist in a big world of fags. I think I’ll interview some fags.

  • tweebo

    Amon Amarth comes with the cutest accesories you can dream of , action figures, comic books, plastic swords among other fun stuff. I took my Amon Amarth cds to show and tell at school and it turned out all my classmates already had the same cds, in fact even Mrs. Hanscom likes them! I think Mcdonalds is planning to add a mini Amon Amarth cd on every Happy Meal.

  • Amarthjira

    They should come out with the Amon Amath Valhalla flavored condoms for rough-rectum use,, you know, like they say “if you’re feeling the itch in your stretcho hole”. or something, you know? like when you have that need to have a big cock in the ass and there’s no one around and you start inserting weird stuff in your ass and shit? so yeah dudes, you guys get me? Hello? Any Gojira fans around?

  • Levy_Spearmen

    Man, I love it when a big, black thug interviews me. A really good session usually leaves my ass sore for a week.

  • Adolf Hitler

    I’d love to get gang-banged by Amon Amarth – they’re such sexy guys! I’d service them all, I’d love to get fucked by them. Hard. And with no lube. I’ve been practising and can fit a tennis ball up my ass now – I’d love to take all their big juicy cocks!!

  • U R an Idiot, Hahahahaha Ahahaaa Ahahaha Haaa

    “being “too busy” as if trying to run away from life itself and sounding too much like a metalcore version of Dark Tranquility”

    I love how this aspie manages to come up with the absolutely worst, most off the mark descriptions of bands possible, owing to his meager musical IQ and limited descriptive vocabulary (I bet Deathspell Omega sounds like “too busy” “metalcore” to you too, dipshit). Even though Amon Amarth is one of the chuggiest, most monotone crap bands out there, I guess anything that doesn’t have the complete unisono of Morbid Anus’s worst 0000000000000000000000 riffs sounds “too busy” for you. Way to read your gay life philosophy into that, fag, how come Suffocation doesn’t sound “too busy as if trying to run away from life itself” to you?

  • hurp

    “…”too busy” as if trying to run away from life itself”

    Yeah, Amon Amarth are generic crap, but what does this even mean? Does it mean anything? I don’t think it does

  • Brutal slayer of Christians

    Yo Negruvoda, I fucked a Romanian whore last night. She was pretty hot too, I didn’t realize how cute most of the girls over there are. What’s the best city in your country for poon?

  • Negro Vuda

    Huh? What whore? I think you mean that cute underage rent boy who couldn’t speak any English. Knew how to work a cock though! Damn, do you still have his number. Dis nigga needs to git his dick wet, know what I’m sayin’?

  • ULTRA BORIS

    IT´S ALL ABOUT THE RIFFS MAN, THE RIFFS, 230 RIFFS IN A SONG IS AWESOME MAN!!!! LIKE MY REVIEWS ARE THE BEST AT THE METAL-ARCHIVES, AND YEAH,, NOKTORN SUCKS DICK MAN !!! THE RIFFS DUDE !!

  • and what's with the detailed descriptions of gay sex you fuckign little faggots?

    >implying you’ve ever fucked a woman, you pathetic closeted bisexual virgin

    Best city is Bucharest, obviously, where there’s the most girls, and the best universities. They wouldn’t even bat an eye at you though; who’d want to associate with some out-of-shape acneous filth in an ugly, oversized black t-shirt that’s incompetent in every area of life except using up his parents’ resources to post on the internet? Maybe try your luck with our equivalent of chavs (but don’t blame me if your kidneys go missing), or one of our many stray dogs, I’m sure you’ll find the hot bitch more suited for you that way.

  • the king is dead, long live the king!

    I remember 9/11. I remember being horrified at first, fearing for my family and loved ones safety as well as my own. Then later as more news reached the surface I was eventually confronted with a photo of Osama Bin Laden printed in a magazine. I will never forget those eyes, they seemed so calm, so peaceful, so wise. Like they had seen beyond what normal men can see. And suddenly I didn’t understand Americas hatred anymore. Bin Laden was a well spoken and educated man from a wealthy and influential family. He was a man who had fought for his people, gained combat experience and knew the true meaning of solidarity. And now all he was doing was standing up for his beliefs in a way that the spoiled children of the west would never understand: by noble self-sacrifice. I started collecting newsclippings and articles about Osama as well as pictures. Indeed some of the articles were a revelation to me! But unfortunately most of the stories were obvious lies and western propaganda. Determined to find the truth I started reading the Qur’an. I started questioning everything I had ever been taught: my western upbringing, my loyalty to the United States, who my true family was and my sexuality. And slowly but surely I could not hold back my erection anymore when I was staring at photos of Osama Bin Laden. Then one night I decided to do it. I took out my throbbing hard cock and masturbated furiously while flipping through my extensive collection of photos of Osama. After just a few minutes my cum spurted all over the photos, it was the best orgasm I had ever achieved! I felt so relieved to let go off my decadent western heritage and enter the world of Islamic fundamentalism! But it was just the start of something so beautiful no words can describe it. My fantasies grew wilder with each masturbation session, I dreamed about getting my cock sucked by him and cumming in his beard. I had fantasies about getting my rectum pierced by his mighty Arabian cock which I imagined to be about as long as his beard (well, you know what they say about guys with a big nose…) And after a few weeks I came to terms with it: Osama Bin Laden had made me gay. I was a little sad that 9/11 turned out to be the best thing he had ever done. I was hoping for more well orchestrated terrorist attacks on the west that would stimulate my fantasies and push me further into the world of fundamentalism and erotic jihad. But at least there was Iraq. Oh Iraq! Each time I read about US soldiers being blown to pieces by IED’s my dick grew harder and I had to masturbate to calm down. But now, after a full ten years of fantasies and threats, the evil United States just murdered him, butchered him like an innocent little lamb. Oh how I cried when I read the news! But I also realized that Osama’s work had been done. He had effectively turned me from a decadent and clueless western heterosexual teenager into a proud and wise Islamic homosexual man with a raging boner for men with facial hair. I’m proud to say Osama Bin Laden made me gay! And his death will not be in vain! Instead it will only increase my daily searches for random sexual encounters with bearded men of semitic heritage. Screw those dumb Americans celebrating the death of someone more wise and manly than they will ever be! I will continue to spread AIDS in the name of Allah! Allahu Akbar! Long live the Islamic gay fundamentalist jihad!